h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh wise dancing tree. whereabouts in yateley do you live. one of my best friends, a strange and death-fixated womble lives there also, lymmington ave. dost thou know this evil road?

Wise? I don't know about that

I live just a stone's throw away from Lymington Avenue (that is, if you have a very strong arm, and can throw one a good few hundred metres). The place: Hardy Avenue, that bastion of roads named after famous authors, and very little else, that sits just off Vigo Lane.

I have to say, although I haven't been to Lymington Avenue for a while, I never noticed any wombles there, let alone death fixated ones. I guess they must now be trying to escape from the school. I remember when it had no fence around it, save the black spikey one they have now. Yateley School: Colditz II?

What do you reckon about my Yateley article? May have to write more about the relative perils of the Monteagle Arms perhaps!!

But indeed you are wise to have written such an article
I try to go to Yateley as least as possible but from what I have seen and heard of it through my friend (who is not a death-fixated womble after all, Just death-fixated as I imagine many Yateleyerites are ) you seem to be about hitting the mark. To my knowledge Yateley is Ninety-Five percent old people and the rest are teenagers, babies or dead. However, whenever I do go to yateley (very rarely as was already stated) it's to sleep round my friend's house(i have only the one friend in Yateley. I think she is the entire 'not-a-trendy-idiot' population in the teenage community)and we go out for walks at gone midnight to see, for an unexplainable reason, we weren't even hungry, if KFC is open, which of course it wasn't.(it may be wise in this juncture to state that I was the onlt stone-cold-soberperson among them, they all chose option 'b' in your article and drank around 16 litres of cheap cider between 6 of them. Oh what fun..
How old are you dancing tree? it is my 16th today (13th July). what do you do on the weekends. we could get a correspondance going couldn't we?
speak to you soon o wise one
Pippa

Firstly: happy birthday! Hope it is / was a great day!

Secondly, I also try to be in Yateley as little as possible, but that is a little tougher as I happen to live there!! Yateley isn't, in fact, 95% old people, but closer to 50% middle aged dorm people (ie: 40 something commuters) with another 30% being their irksome kids (for many are the oiks of Yateley). Old people are around, but I assume they hide in bushes (probably to mug other old people!)

At the weekend I tend to escape to friend's houses dotted around the area (Reading, London, etc) for partying and stuff. If I remain around Yateley I tend to write music (currently looking for a record deal). Click the tree on my guide homepage to go to my web-site with some tunes (and a dancing tree animation!)

As for my age: I am very old indeed (well, 23 just a few days back) hence the somewhat cynical outlook . Mind you, even I would think twice about walking around Yateley at night, and that's coming from someone who lived in Cardiff for three and a half years!!! It's not actually the late teens I have a problem with, it's the lippy 12/13 year olds kicking in fences as they claim there's nothing better to do. When I were a lad we made things to do! ... goes all misty eyed and nostalgic! ... ahem.

As for your friend (as presumably you) being in the "not a trendy idiot" group of teenagers: that's surely a good thing! 16 litres of cider does not equal 6 people though. Ouch.

Shame about the lack of wombles in Yateley though; that might have added a little sparkle to the town!

Speak soon.

Indeed, Wombles would have added that certain something, however ,only people on hallucinagenic drugs in Wimbledon may see them which I think is downright rude!
You may have guessed that I am slightly (but only very slightly) on the wrong side of sane and I think that the mental state I am usually in is a Very good place to be.
Thanks for the birthday greeting. V. kind of u. I got my nose pierced for my birthday, it looks good.
London at the weekends eh? i'm going to london on the 21st, my dad got me and six of my friends a 5 hour (count them: 1...2....3.....4......5 hour) limo drive , fantastic!
we've decided to stop at a MacDonalds somewhere, walk in, go to the loo, get food, then, as we walk out, go "ohmigod, Boyzones limo is outside" or something, then swan out through the crowds and get in! hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

I just checked out your website (it's 12:30 am but who cares) anyway, your dancing tree is brilliant! I want one mummy!!!
so, ahem, back to near sanity, do you have an e-mail address that I can write to you on or would you rather not give it out here?
speak soon
pippa

The public address is [email protected]. E.mail that and I'll give you the "proper" address. Oops - that sounded a bit formal!! Probably because my mind is clouded at the mo'. I just got back from the rounders thing in London. I am now very very burned (bright red arms). Heathrow could use me to help planes land at night. Good fun though.

Thanks for the nice words about the web-site. I'd really like to update it a bit more, but I don't have the time. Still, what else does one need if one has a dancing tree

Speak soon.