h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've now implemented a cunning plan which I've had in mind ever since the Russian affair. If it works you should find out later today (or tomorrow if some redirection is required). I hope it doesn't break any house rules as I'd like to retain my "mostly harmless" status.

Teasing is not allowed. What are you up to?

I must have missed that rule about teasing then. Where is it?

You'll have to wait and see what happens, then I'll explain later if necessary. I thought you might like a bit of mystery/suspense...

It's an unwritten rule that everybody knows!

How long have I got to wait now? *fidgets*

I have no idea how long precisely you'll have to wait. That bit is out of my control. The universe (h2g2 or real one) is too non-deterministic for that! As I said before, hopefully by the end of the (working) day, or failing that tomorrow. I might get some intermediate feedback if the process is going wrong though...

*stops fidgetting* I've just had a delivery! Thank you very much! They are lovely. Am I supposed to share?

It's very kind of you!

The instructions should have been included in brief with the delivery but here's the long version:

I realised you were getting paid regardless of performance. So the only scheme in operation for blobbing seemed to be the penalty of being flamed by the community when it went wrong. I hadn't noticed any similar daily praise scheme for getting it right. The carrot and stick combination is traditionally held to be more effective.

The enclosed note should have read "one to be taken after each successful blobbing". Either the other italics will have to judge this or we could start a silly Askh2g2 thread such as "does Mina deserve todays blobbing reward?" with some minimum quota of yes/no votes. On a yes consensus you get to have one chocolate with your coffee etc. Of course if someone else does the work, perhaps they should get the chocolate instead. Alternatively an additional penalty scheme could be included for getting blobbing badly wrong - not only do you miss a day but someone else takes that chocolate!

Incidentally, if you are anything like my friend Mark T. you might eat the flowers too. They were an expected side-effect of the way I chose to implement my plan - though I hope you like them anyway. The dent in my credit card account will be another unfortunate side-effect but I think the joke was worth it. There was an alternative technique available to me but that would have required more time/effort to contact and mobilise my in-house BBC spies...

That is indeed a cunning plan, and the label does say that, so I've been very good and haven't opened the !

Thanks again, it was a very nice thought. It is normally me that blobs the pictures, but Jimster did two this morning. Does that mean that I have to give him a couple? I think I'll delete them and do them again.

Although I must admit, I'll have to watch over them very carefully to make sure that the other italics don't pinch them!

While the idea of you and Jimster fighting over the files for custody of a single chocolate is amusing, I think it would be bad for office morale and the sanity/security of the servers! Contributing to such anti-social behaviour would definitely qualify as breaking the house rules and presumably get me thrown off h2g2, if not you two.

I was slightly concerned that doing this would count as stalking (Jimster already seems to believe I'm scary) but I thought it was a plan worth the risk of trying - unlike the one I've reported to Jim/Peta.

Since neither of us knew how the plan was going to work today, I think we'd better make the official start tomorrow. As specified in the note, it should be one choc per blobbing event (presumably a daily occurrance) and not one per image. That was the largest box the delivery company could supply and it would disappear in no time otherwise!

PS Besides which, Jimster wouldn't qualify for a choc today anyway because he has missed Wotchit off the credit list of the page!

It's not Jimster's fault, it's mine really. As I upload the pictures I normally put the credit on at the same time because it's fresh in my mind who did the image. Can I have a chocolate?

On the basis of it being not Jimster's fault but yours, you want a chocolate. Interesting logic!

I was too late to reply to this yesterday, being elsewhere and otherwise occupied in real life. However, I make that 2 days in a row (Monday and Tuesday) that the graphics have appeared without the credit. I thought it had been established on the CA threads that this was a normal part of the blobbing procedure. So I'd say no.

Assuming the new front page and edited entry are updated at about 9am GMT then I would expect the credit to be on by then. If it is not an automatic or simultaneous thing from a pre-prepared set and it actually requires the person responsible to run round the pages/skins afterwards and check the update has worked, then perhaps a fairer deadline for completion of all tasks would be 10am GMT. Since I don't know precisely how you lot carry out this task you'll have to say whether or not this is reasonable.

It looks like someone got it right today! Although the update time was probably closer to 11am GMT. Is this normal and therefore a reasonable target deadline? I think it used to be done earlier before xmas but snow seems like a valid excuse.

Oh poo. Can I blame Jimster? Is he likely to read this? Nope! so it was Jimster. These chocolates are going to melt!

The odd thing is I thought this was going to be a really easy incentive to win.

Come on italics (collectively)! If there's some sort of simple established procedure to this blobbing, you've got to get it right soon!

PS What's the collective noun for italics? We already have the term "powers in the towers". Perhaps it's a font of italics.

We were getting it right, but then Christmas came and threw us off a bit!

I haven't had time to catch up on bits and pieces, as people keep wanting me to go to meetings! Very interesting and great and all that, but they get in the way of my h2g2 habit.

Both colours of circle seem to be fine today. I checked the big image too (but not the little one). I assume the photo means no credit line is required. So who gets a choc today?

PS Now I need to find a way to motivate the operators of the BBCi Message Boards into getting up and posting the overnight backlog before they open. Sometimes it doesn't happen until nearly noon. It messes up the flow of an argument and confuses those who haven't realised what's (not) going on. Usually the boards aren't even open when they should be either!

Hi SEF, we don't credit photographs, but Jimster blobbed it, so he got the chocolate today. I'm not sure that we're going to have the discipline to only eat one per day though... They're *very* tempting!

The message board problems might be down to a number of things, have you mentioned it to them?

"They're *very* tempting!" - Is that your way of telling me that in fact you've already scoffed the lot and are merely keeping up this pretence of restraint?

The various message board problems have been repeatedly mentioned both on board (directed at the moderators, particularly under science) or using the feedback links (to email addresses). I'm not sure if this ongoing lateness has been mentioned lately though. This is not just because I can't vouch for the other users of course, but because I can't always remember what I've been up to either! So much trouble to cause, so little time/bandwidth.

"Is that your way of telling me that in fact you've already scoffed the lot and are merely keeping up this pretence of restraint?"

Er, yes. Sorry about that. I did try. But the others helped me to demolish them too! I'll try really, really hard to make sure that everything is tip-top and super-dooper, how's that?

I know that the people who run mesage board are aware of the problems, and are trying to sort them out. Hopefully they'll be able to get everything running smoothly soon. And you can enjoy knowing that h2g2 runs smoothly ane perfectly all of the time.