h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Krissy!

So I'm back... it's been a busy weekend and stuff, so I'm sure you harldy noticed I was gone... but here I am, smiling and wagging my tail (if i had one)

sbz

Are you KIDDING?? I wandered around all weekend going, "Where is SB? Anyone seen SB??" and I looked under every SINGLE couch I could find.

I'm glad you did something exiting this weekend. How was the wedding, eh eh? Make out with any of the bridesmaids eh eh? nudge nudge and all that.

How was your Independence Day?

Well, I'm glad I was missed
You should have looked for me passed out in the corner from a well thrown frozen strawberry...

And no bridesmaids.. unless you count Amy... nudge nudge

I'm sorry. I've checked the list and our company policy and unless Amy was an actual bridesmaid, I can't include her. I can, however, put you down as making out with a wedding GUEST which is almost as good.

It's a medium point level. You get the most points, of course, if you sleep with the priest, but that's only happened 12 or 13 times since I've been in this business.

Well... you see, there were no bridesmaids... and the bride had only 4 girlfriends there (very small wedding) one of whom was Amy... so she really was as close to a bridesmaid as possible... And did I mention she helped the bride get ready?

As for the chaplain.. she was woman too... I should have tried my luck if I knew the whole point system...

Well... I suppose that brings you up say....10 points or so. However, ignorance of the law is no defense so I'm afraid you've missed out on the 4000 points for snogging the preacher. Heck, even the ATTEMPT would have got you 2000 points.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Well, then... I'll have to snog the first priest I see...

Can't go around with only 10 points to my name...

No no.. you have 200... because Amy was kind of a psudo-bridesmaid and I'm sure you got more than snogging in.

Still, it couldn't hurt. And if you pick a male priest it's worth even more.

Amy will be proud she earned me 200 points...

or creeped out...

one or the other

The funnest way is to tell her and THEN find out which.

Hmmm...

I think I creep her out too often
I think I'll keep this one to myself

OOoooo...now you have to tell me what you do that creeps her out.

Do you keep chickens in the guest closet?

noooo.... I don't even have a guest closet...

Well... hmmm... I bite randomly... without reason...
I tell amusing lies... mostly about tiny monkeys
among other things

But how do you know that your tiny monkey lies are amusing? Perhaps you're just being humoured.

The biting part though, that's fun.

well, the tiny monkey lies are really just to amuse me... (same goes for the biting) which is why it creeps her out...

(but they really do hold the subay in place, and make sure asprin goes where it's supposed to... in case you were wondering...)

They hold the SUBWAY in place?? How?? Why, there must be BILLIONS of them! Plus.. how do monkeys know where the asprin goes?

They are very smart, very strong and very very numerous.

Tiny monkeys everywhere...

Don't be scared... they are amusing tiny monkeys....

Because monkeys make everything funnier

It's far far too late. I'm already very scared.

I thought your helper monkey was house-trained....