h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

almost opossum-like of them, only they are malicious about it.

I call this one "Bitey".

I'll call mine "Snippy"

Storytime:

When I was seven my dad, mom, Uncle No no, Aunt Rita, Cousin Jeff, and Cousin Tomtom and me went to stay at a house in Asatique (or however it's spelled). My uncle no no held up the lobster that was going to be dinner (it was HUGE) for us to see. Then he tickled it's belly and the tail went THWAP THWAP THWAP THWAP against it's belly with the loudest noise you ever heard. Tommy and I took off and hid under the pull-out bed in the living room and Jeff locked himself in the bathroom.

Live lobesters are scary things.

unless you know how to deal with them... they calm down when soaked in beer, you know

They also calm down when you BOIL the suckers!! It's amazing how little they move after you kill 'em.

*doesn't feel bad at all*

yeah, and they taste real good too!

'boil them in beer', I say

not often, admittedly, but tonight - on a very special Blossom - 'boil them in beer', I say

*boils them in beer*

Did bubster bring the butter? With Blossom?

mmm lobster a la bubster

Mmm bubster in butter sauce...

Wait. Did I say that out loud?

Hey, Krissy, you forgot the beer, the correct answer is bubster bearing beer whilst doused in butter sauce.

Oh no, not again

oh yes, Krissy get the spit!

*spits enthusiastically on Akasword*

OOps. GET the spit. Sorry.

*hands him a towel*

*wipes off spit disgustedly*

I have never been spit on by a woman

*has an "american pie" moment*

I've been spit on by a woman!

I haven't seen that movie either.

Sorry about the spit. It's this damned ear. It hears some strange things.

OK, so we have established that you live in a biodome, without Q-tips.

I'm sorry, what did you say? I can't hear you on account of I live in this Biodome and I don't have any Q-tips.

I said look out for the cryodrone, 'cause he'll freeze your lips.