h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There you are - right there - I see you! Look I'm waving...

Hi.

And stuff like that.

I just had to say hi cos it's been like forever and I just don't think it can be allowed so 'hi' and yes I said it again cos the more 'hi's you get the higher you are and that's gotta be a good thing all things considered unless you're like a fish or something cos then high is high and dry and no-one wants a dry fish except maybe another dry fish or actually my cousin quite likes them although that's probably smoked fish now I think about it but then I've never seen anyone smoke a fish so what would I know about that except that it seems pretty unlikely that someone would smoke a fish when there are so many other things to do and indeed to smoke if you think about it but I guess maybe the answer is that if you've smoked lots of other things maybe you don;t think about it and that what leads to all this smoking of unlikely things like fish and parasols and probably all manner of other things that people you know do without you ever really knowing cos you don't really ever know the people you know completely except maybe if you live with them or something or possibly smoke fish with them and lets face it with so many people to be friends with well you just can't share everything can you though I think there are probably some good reasons why that's probably just as well probably but I couldn't say for sure well not without lying anyway cos I just don't know as many things as I used to probably cos of all the passive fish smoking that I do just hanging around other people who may or may not be into that sort of thing cos as I think I may have said you never can tell or perhaps you can but I certainly ca't and I really think that's the point where I should at the very least stop for breath becasue otherwise there's a great big likelihood of my falling over and then what would I have achieved in saying hi except to alarm you as I know I certainly have been considerably alarmed myself when people have said hi and then fainted right away cos I never quite know how to take it but somehow I just feel it can't be good or at least not as good as a good hearty swoon and then the offer of a sociable drink which seems a much nicer way to behave although after a few sociable drinks the possibility of fainting right away naturally rears its ugly head and you think maybe a lot of time could be saved by simply saying hi collapsing and leaving it at that but you never really know these things until you try them as my father was never fond of saying but really if he had been I thing I would have turned out quite differently as indeed my brother might have althoug when you think about it I think they turned out quite differently anway but not knowing how to end this I just think I will say hi and then perhaps two words: Noosa Noosa.

Thank you for your kind attention.

*faints away*

Someone replaced his regular coffee with Crack™ crystals again....

Mmmmmmm™

Hi!

Well, I think, personally that if you're going to smoke fish and parasols you'd better do it on the top floor of your building because that makes it less likely the cops will catch you. Also, I'm not listening to anything any of your brothers say because I'm well aware of what happens to them.

So I'm glad you said hi because sometimes I miss you and I sit around thinking, "Boy, do I miss that bubster guy." Hi! Are you feelin' good?

And NNNNNNNnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooossssssssssssaaaaaa to you to!

*pats Spartus on the head* And how are YOU, there, my dearie?

Not enough Crack™ today. Or sleep. Mmmmm...Red Bull...

Hee hee...

I've been so stressed out lately that, now that things have calmed down a bit, I find myself completely run down. I feel like I'm about to fall over. That and my stomache is KILLING me. Not unlike bubster's brother. How did that story go, bubst?

Did someone say coffee? Did someone say crack?

*perks up*

*gets the caffeine IV drip ready*