h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Krissy.

I thought you should know a few things.

(1) I think I've got a lead on that salad coke thing.

(2) I see you.

(3) We should probably come up with a code name for the cocaine-in-the-salad-dressing project, cause if we say that in the forums, people might get suspicious and it could blow the whole thing.

(4) I see you.

(5) I am NOT a copycat! Am I?

(6) I see you.

(7) It's kinda cold in here.

(8) I see you.

(9) There is no #9.

(10) I SEE YOU!

Message ends.

Hello "Agent X",

Here is my response:

(1) I'm glad you have a lead on it. We'll call that lead "Gerome" from now on. (The "e" is silent)

(2) You do not see me. What you see is simply a commercial airliner that has strayed off course and is venting some burning fuel.

(3) I was thinking and I was thinking that a good code name would be CIS (pronounced "kiss" for "Cocaine-Inthe-Salad")then I shortened it to 'SMOOTCH'. This is the 'SMOOTCH' project.

(4) You do not see me. What you see is simply a pocket of natural gas that ignited in the earth's upper-atmosphere.

(5) You are a copycat, and even THAT's not an original idea.

(6) You do not see me. What you see is simply an errant weather balloon that got caught in Earth's upper atmosphere and refracted the light from venus.

(7) Put on a sweater, young lady.

(8) You do not see me. What you see is simply a visual illusion caused by advancing cataracts.

(9) Thank God there's no number 9.

(10) You do not see me. What you see is simply the ramblings of a deluded mind. But.... I SEE YOU!!!!

MESSAGE ENDS

*sigh*

That's as maybe—I still see you.

*goes off to have another go at copycat evidence*