h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

goodbye. i'm going away. get up to mischeif while i'm not looking. and don't let those universe vandals get the better of you

*racing after tree shaking a fistfull of papers and forms* Wait! You can't go! You haven't officially transferred your powers and/or responsibilities properly to anyone else and I can't get up to a comparable amount of mischiff on my own! Plus I'm going to miss you too much!

Hey??! HEYYYYYYYYY TREEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!

*Putting a comforting arm around Krissy*

*Patting her arm for emphasis*

There there, sweetie. Sometimes you've just got to let them go. Trust me, she'll come back home when she gets hungry...they almost always do. Except for that one time...but don't you worry your pretty lil' head about that now.

*pat pat*

*comfort comfort*

*gets distracted and starts singing show tunes*

*begins sobbing to the sound of "Cabaret"*

B-b-b-b-b-b-uuuuuuuhuuuut...shhhshhshhee'll st-st-st-st-stARVE!

*comforting to the tune of "Let Me Entertain You"*

Now, now. If I know our little tree, she took plenty of crunchy puppy rations and maple syrup. Don't you fret now 'bout...

Hey! Did Robert Guillaume just go past??

Robert Guillaume? Does he often?

*sigh* I know that she took puppies and probably lots of condensed milk...*sniffle*

Will you tapdance to a polka to entertain me until I cheer up? Here. I'll sing it.

BAH ba ba BAH ba ba
BAH ba ba BAH ba ba
BAH ba ba BAH ba ba

Oh, sure.

*tap-tap-tap*
So I was thinking...
*tappity-tap-tap-tap*
...that while tree's away...
*tap-tap-wheeze-tap*
...she'll prolly check in...
*tappity-choke-wheeze-shuffle-tap*
...from time to time...

*Big triple time step finish, sliding across the floor on knees and ending in jazz hands - YEAH!!*

...You think?

*applauding wildly and throwing large bills*

That was fantastic!

Yeah, I bet she'll check in. She'd BETTER check in. Just think of what I've done to that bunny!

*cough* I just discovered this forum.

Um.

You guys are WEIRD.

just wait til you see my left arm, harhar! Then you won't be weirding off with such ease. why, after viewing my left arm, were a small octagonal creature to pounce upon your face and begin sucking upon your nose, the only words you would be likely to utter are 'ho hum'..in that precise order
yes

*cough*

I'd forgotten all about this forum.

So...um...I know you are, but what am I? Huh?? Yeah! See?? In your FACE!

Hi, tree!!! btw...

*cough*

I, also, had forgotten about this forum.

I have seen tree's left arm and I feel normal now. I would say other, cleverer things, but I am hung over and I can't think of anything.

Please hold.