h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The action on mine's more at the 12th fret than it is at the 16th. At the moment the truss rod is proving obstinate, but it will yield soon. Cheers for saying BCRich - that was the pink thing that the bloke I used to work with used to play. Nasty, pointy bit of s**t so it was. Thi bloke was technically very skillful, playing with a JD stubby 3mm pick on strings a third of that distance from the fretboard with less tension than a tub of wensleydale. Whilst I don't thrash strings it's nice if your electric can still be payed in a style similar to that applied to an acoustic. No-one seems keen on talking about strings, so how about picks? JD stubby 1mm at the moment, but I used to be keen on Gibson medium and hard, JD soft (the powdery ones) @ .70 and .60 but once had this amazing thin metal thing. I don't have a clue what it was made of but was about .15 mm thick, as stiff as a resin .7mm and came from Fox's music in Lincoln. I lost it after a couple of years but remember it still. I've never used nylons as the flappy sound gets up my nose and they have a tendency to chip and catch. JD stubbys are good as they prevent you swinging your arm about as if you're whipping a dead cow and are short enough to enable the odd pinch harmonic if the whim takes you. I haven't broken a string in three years using one but have lost far more than any other type of pick, probably because they're small and transparent. I've got another metal one at the moment but it's s**t. The one I had was about the same flexibility as the metal cover of a 3¼" disk but always returned to shape and couldn't be bent by hand. After three years it had hardly worn down, save for a tendency to become sharp-edged. It was goldish in colour but silvery where it had worn. If anyone knows where these things might still be found I would gladly send them the money to get me a few.

I think you're referring to Jim Dunlop Hotlicks Copper picks. i believe they come in different thicknesses but I'm sure your local music shop can order them in if the sell other Dunlop products, particularly if they deal with Strings & Things. You may have to buy 3 as that's how they come packaged.
I used to use these Nylon with Carbon fibre picks that had pictures of MaryJoanna leaves on and the word reefer. You can't get them anymore though. I currently use mostly Jim Dunlop Tortex .73mm. I think they're very good all round picks for electric playing and they don't snap quickly like celluloid ones.
The added advantage is that, being bright yellow, they're less easy to lose.
I do have some gloriously obscure picks. Some are made by Dugain in France.They are thick picks with indents for thumb and forefinger which helps you hold them. They are good for fast playing and you can do pinch harmonics with them. you can't do metalhead scrathes down the strings though. I have 3. 1 is horn, 1 is bone and the other is ebony. They used to cost about £6.00 each but I think I got all mine free. You can still get them but only via Jim Dunlop so they would now cost about £17.00 each. THat is a totally ridiculous price for a pick. you can apparently get Agate ones from a different company for the same price.

Would anyone care to give me feedback on my P138520 Classical Guitar page before I submit it? I'd put a link but I'm having trouble adding linkds in forums at the mo.

Mykl has rcently died in a bizarre Guitar playing accident involving hairspray, tight spandex, windmilling motion, flashpots, flame shooting codpieces and a family sized tub of swarfega.

I was his Test Guitarist and have been draughted in as a last minute replacement.
Even though I'm better than him in every way, because I'm not the original, people will always look back and say that Mykl was much better.

Tabloid Newspapers eh?
They'll print any old rubbish.

Just type in the address and the browser shold be able to make it go yellow automatically. Where in the name of hell did people get the idea to make picks out of bone and ivory? I admit that it's a natural extension from playing with the fingernails to playing with the fingernails (or equivalent) of another animal but it's a bit weird all the same. Cheers for the picks advice - everywhere I go sells Dunlops as I usually get their stubbys but I also usually ask if they've got any metal ones in. If they don't say "no" they try to be funny by showing me the sharkfin box or one of those pink things with the knobbles for grip. I've been arsing about with picks recently, painting them to aid visibility and adding bits of rubbery substances to try and improve the grip. Rather than keep it still it merely means that the pick cannot be slid back into position once it has shifted. I'll try for another poke around for the copper things asking by name but if I can't find them, could someone get me some?

where do you live?

Edinburgh. I see you suggested that I get a shop to order some - might be worth a try. My latest experiment involved Araldite and a surgical glove to prevent any accidents. Once it's dried in the approximate shape of a thumb and index finger, I can cut a few little grooves in it to leat sweat escape and to aid grip. It'll probably get lost or turn out to be shite but it's more fun than taking my equaliser pedal apart to find out why it refuses to work.

I'm not an expert on Equalizer pedals, but have you checked that the miniature Edward Woodward inside it isn't off somewhere saving a small cute boy and his even cuter widowed mother?
Or maybe, like the helpful guy in my local music shop says (*every farking time*), did you try changing the battery?

BTW has anyone tried out those new chrome Marshall pedals yet? any good? And can anyone recommend a pedal or gizzmo that would make my Valvestate amp actually sound like it's got valves inside it? The Guvnor pedal only sounds OK when it's fully cranked and I want some tube-like warmth at lower distortion levels to create a spacey rich chorus sound like you get from a Jazz Chorus amp. Any ideas for not many squids?

An MX2 distortion plus would allow you to never have to use the inbuilt distortion on a valvestate ever again, which is good. I warned people about Valvestates and MOSFETs earlier in this fourm. Mesa-Boogie's DI pedal ought to be good but will cost millions, given what MB stuff usually costs. Boss Classic Fuzz (I think they're metallic orange at the moment) might be quite good, though it hinges on whether you have humbuckers and thick strings. Failing that, putting an EQ in between the guitar and valvestate and putting up the middle frequencies might do the trick.
If it's cheapness you're after, I could sell you my old Korg G3. It's old and solid-state but the crunchy distortion really does seem volume-responsive whilst the heavier distortion can be tweaked to sound impressively zep-like, even when played through a Laney by way of an Epiphone.
If you're trying to get decent distortion out of a strat, I'd give up now. It can't be done.

OK, I'll have to stick to Buddy Holly numbers while I save up for a meatier guitar

I'll give the EQ'ing thing a go though, cheers.

I can get a lovely distortion out of my Tokai if I chain it from my amp, into my PC and then apply software plug-ins in Cakewalk Pro Audio, the only problems with that being it isn't very portable, and it sure doesn't look very rock'n'roll.

Right. If you don't have an EQ (it really needs to be a pedal rather than using the settings on an amp) get a cheapy Rocktek one, as it doesn't need to be good. Otherwise, DoD do one for about £50 that suffices. Use the middle and medium-high frequencies for the zeppy sound but be aware that by sticking up the low frequencies as high as they can go pn the EQ and lowering the same on the amp creates a nice, fuzzy effect with lots of accidentals in that distort beautifully. This is one way of countering the evil crappy squeak that comes out of Peavey amps with Supersat™, should you ever have the misfortune of meeting one. The bass frequencies are a lot more volume-responsive at the level of the string and can be hiked up by using the bridge pickup. From what I've heard of valvestate amps it's this inability to sound anything other than flat and unchaninging that makes them crap. My mate had one after the sold his Peavey bandit (shiteshiteshite) but it didn't sound much better as it was still a couple of years before he swapped his Strat (yellow and white - mmmmm) for a Washburn with humbuckers (though it was still a bit sqeuaky and had scallopped frets, the shame of it) which made the sound a little better but still more along the lines of eightiesrock as opposed to the true path of Page, his PAFs, MXR distortion plus and proper valvey amps. Strangely, we discovered that the best sound to be got out of a strat was by using one of the little portable battery-powered amps as a preamp. Using any sort of preamp tends to increase the amount of volume-sensitivity available and by using two slightly different tonal qualities of distortion any shortfall in one can be made up.

I've got a ValveState 8080 and I'm perfectly happy with it. Mind you, I do use a bit of compression and EQ on my old Korg A4 which is in the effects loop. (plus loads of other effects occasionally of course.)As for the new Marshall Chrome pedals they are very good.
Apart from its sad name, Edward the Compressor (oh har de har har har)is qite useful. You can hear it doing something, even through a small amp and is still subtle and not overpowering.
The new Bluesbreaker is the biggest improvement. The old one hardly did anything unless you cranked it right up. The new one has two modes and has a good range of sounds from a slight crunchy blues through to a "Still got the Blues" Gary Moore type distortion.
The Jackhammer is a lot more versatile than its name suggests and has a good sound for very heavy stuff. It doesn't do that "wasp in a box" sound though(another plus point for me)
For new cheap multi FX, the Korg AX1G is really good, with a lovely chorus and the new Zoom GFX707 has drum beats in it that actually sound quite a bit like drums (unlike those in the Korg Pandora 2)

Talking of 80's rock, Ibanez have reissued the RG505 in Desert Yellow.
It has a scratchplate the colour of Mountain Dew as well.
Obviously for people who want to get themselves noticed!!

They'll never learn. Sunburst (not tobaccoburst) is the only true colouration. Maybe cherry-red if you're feeling resprayingfull. Gold if you've got the money. Black if you like the useless extra pickup and gold hardware.
When I was younger I used a dictaphone between the guitar and the stereo in lieu of amp to achieve distortion. THAT sounded like a wasp trapped in a matchbox. Later, my Maplin amp recreated the sound of Supersat™ at a fraction of the price. It's what it sounds like in your head that matters.

I tell that to my neighbours, but they remain unconvinced

Mine too!!

Sunburst!!!! How terribly dull and boring. While I would NEVER buy a guitar that was pink or yellow or lime green, there are many lovely and tasteful colurs out there.
Epiphone do a lovely transparent dark green,
I my self have 4 coloured guitars, a lovely grey sunburst one which Ovation call Barnboard, a cherry one, an Antique Gold ( asort of dark amber) and a lovely tasteful Metallic Dark Blue, set off nicely by the purple DiMarzios and the sort of Pearly, marbly scratchplate.
I know what you're thinking but have you seen the colour blue DiMarzio use? EEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGGGGGGHH!!!!
Mind you, bearing in mind that individual guitars of the same model vary wildly, what do you do if you find that one perfect guitar, and it feels absolutely sublime, and it sounds like angels weeping when you caressit gently, and like devils growling when you hit the bugger, and it always stays in tune but it is painted in lots of swirly colours like the end of a workbench and has the word ROCKTASTIC written across the forearm contour in pink neon lettering.

I suppose you just have to put up with the sniggers from the shop staff and get the electric sander out.

Or alternatively: close your eyes and lose yourself in the music....
The sander's probably a good idea as well though.....

has anyone tried those Smokey Fag Packet amps?
At first I thought they were just a silly gimmick (stick an amp in a fag packet!!How cool!!!!!) especially as they are more expensive than the Marshall MS2 and have no controls on whatsoever.
They work in the same way as a good valve amp: To get the best range of sounds, you use the volume knob on the guitar to sort out distortion levels. They are a bit thin and buzzy on their own as they have such a small speaker but if you plug one through a 4 x 12" (or even a ValveState 2 x 12" they sound absolutely fantastic!!
You can use them on headphones, but only if you jam the jack halfway in the hole and have volume controls on your headphones (which, luckily, I have!)
If you have one of these, a Hohner G3T cricket bat headless guitar and a Barbour jacket, you can play guitar on a long train journey without anyone knowing. ( I haven't actually tried this of course)

Knowing the faces I tend to pull when I'm *into* my guitar, I'd rather the other passengers knew I was playing guitar than just *doing something* under my big jacket

I've got an MS2 which I've taken with me up a desolate hillside with my guitar and a Zoom 505 pedal which was a nice idea at the time, but rapidly turned into a craving for *more volume NOW*. To get over the lack of volume (even thru headphones) I just added more and more FX to the point that I was just banging the strings at random with twigs. I guess that's why they made LSD illegal
There was a guy who used to hang around Camden Lock Market with a Marshall amp in a shopping trolley running off a car battery who called himself 'The Invisible Band' and managed to sound like a one-man Hawkwind.
I think the Beatles were the only band who pulled off that playing guitar on trains thing (in "A Hard Day's Night") but then there aren't many trains with nice handy baggage cars anymore.

Not true.... Queen were on a train in 'Breakthrough'... admittedly on a trailer on the back, as oppossed to the passenger compartment....