h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey partner, they'll laugh even harder when we come back with our Revenge Sequel - Is it possible introduce a genocide into the onion race? Mmm I wonder. Some onions are too strong imagine been outnumbered by something which, if you chop in half, makes your eyes sting and water! Before we could fight back with tomatos we would have to /genetically engineer/ some harder skins for them.

When we get up to "The Revenge Return of the Son of the Killer Onions Meet the Tomatoes" sequel can we introduce potatoes as antihero figures?

;^)#

Your wish is my command but only if we can have an Aubergine as the Phantom Menace, well Phantom Aubergine. I don't like aubergine very much and would to love discover a character or way of destroying their race for good! Is this all getting a bit /juice/ thirsty, considering I am a beginner! Don't forget, we do have to be careful about Genetically Modified Potatoes, with all the controversy that surrounded them a couple of months ago, it may not be a good idea to get too carried away and destroy too many! Whatever happens, we must make sure Rats are not involved - we don't want too much starch shed!

Phantom Aubergines are in - now all we have to do is work out how to make the mandatory blender sequences suitably horrific - all that colour & movement.

I can't help but wonder as they usually smash melons etc for the sound of heads smashing if we will need to use human heads to make the right sound for vegetables being chopped, gored & otherwise mutilated.
;^)#

Hey your back - my brother Si, tells me you are in Australia, you must be mad as well as bad, what time is it there? Anyway, enough of that excitement back to the serious stuff! I like the idea of using human heads for the sound of smashing in our veggies, I definitely think they should be policitians heads, they would would be a suitable smashing sound, although their heads may sound a little hollow! (You're not a politician are you - if you are I am truly sorry and I accept this is the end of our electronic relationship - if not, let fun go on!!). Bruce don't go away, I have to pop out and pick up a book I ordered, check out my home page, there is a conversation in there called nice, mostly me and my big bruvver talking dribble - it explains everything.

Si's right on the Australian thing & its 1.30am Tuesday here so it will soon be Bedtime for Bruce's but I'll be around for a while.
I'll have a wander past your page & maybe have a blather in the forum you mentioned.

;^)#

PS only joking about the government thing

I have just been back to the Nice Forum and erm, well, started blushing really! I won't really pester you, honest! I think you have a lovely smile! I find the Aussie accent sooooo sexy - I work with loads of Australians they are lots of good fun! Yorkshire folk and Australians share an incredible sense of humour and from my experience in the South England, this is very rare. So here I am a good ole Yorkshire Lassie stuck in the centre of London like a fish out of water!

Well, a girl should always do her homework.
Cute blush too.

Bedtime for Bruce's - g'night.

;^)#

So we have genetically modified onions, tomatoes, the Phantom Aubergines, a blender & the Incredible Exploding Yoghurt. If we can somehow work in a number of girls with a propensity to fall out of their clothes on a regular basis we can probably sell the movie outline to these guys -> http://www.troma.com

If not, I suppose we could make some pocket money selling it as a recipe for dip to a local Middle Eastern restaraunt.

;^)#

Blimey have you ever read any Bret Eaton Ellis books?

Mmm it is alright having girlies ready to don their kit, but you have to have a Pierce Brosnan type character to catch the clothes as they fall to the floor. AND THIS WILL NOT BE THAT SORT OF MOVIE. There too much sex and intrigue we are just here to wipe of the horrible veggies and replace them with good veggies!!!! I wonder if Vegiman would agree to all this.. Better calm down a bit!

I haven't read any of Bret Eaton Ellis' books - but I think the guys over at Troma films may have found them inspirational. And they've never had to go as upmarket as Pierce Brosnan but always got by with Mr Not Even Average types.

I've often thought that the time between clothes falling off girls in these movies is inversely proportional to the quality of the story.

"Gee Sol how long do you think we can hold the audiences attention with this plot?"

"About 5 minutes, maybe"

"OK Sol, modify the script so the girls clothes fall off every 3 minutes on average".

;^)#

Bruce, you are losing the plot hun! Calm Down! We only have 157 days and 15 hours to save the world before the Phantom Aubergine takes over for the new Millenium!

Those stats are correct by the way!!!

Is that your time zone or mine? coz I think it might be even less here.

;^)#

Whoops forgot, that is my time zone!

So I can remain calm for slightly less time than you.
However, right now I have to panic & get ready to go out for hot date.
I'll probably be back later tonight. Have fun.

hugs
;^)#

Be good, if you cannot be good be careful!

Yes mum, I was.

;^)#

Welcome, I have just done the whole "female with the 'ump thing" on a colleague who was pissing me off, I need my nerves soothing. It is good to know you behaved yourself - but of course, I only have your word for it don't I. I take it you did not run into Phantom Aubergine whilst you were out then!

Of course you have my word for it & my word is my bond. Would I lie to you...
Though I dont remember specifying whether I was good or careful or indeed both.

The Phantom Aubergine entirely absent for an entire evening of pub trivia - a disgruntled Bruce in 2nd place by 1 point makes a note to brush up on chemistry & 60's pop songs.

;^)#

Point taken, don't argue, don't forget who you are communicating with here! Only joking! If you are still around pop into the "Nice Forum". I have contributed to your intelligent conversation with my brother (Si) and that nice man called Mark! I think I did pretty well, considering I am just a dumb blonde!

Another one for you! I am having my hair done today, so I made a bit of an effort in my attire this morning! I always say there is no point in going to have your hair done and still looking like a tramp. So I slipped on my (nearly) best clobber and put on a slodge of make up! At the moment the building we are working in is next to a building site and it was breakfast time for them! Need I go on! Well I will, there were wolf whistles, there were offers to "jump" in the back of their van with them and to top it all - I was proposed to! Mmm, [big sigh]. Whats it all about Bruce eh? I found myself thinking of killer onions and the Phantom Aubergine decending on these builders - I have decided my role in our shock horror blockbuster - I will be BRENDA THE BLENDA!!!!