h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK Brian, you've got a choice - either come to the pub with us (pleeeeease), or I'll tell you a story about the tampon I just changed

sure i might pop down, one of the lads has a free gaff tonight. i have a lot to consider, if im goin to galway on saturday how do i get home and get a change of clothes?there is a bday party thingy in Slatery's on friday night and i can go to that after pints in clondalkin-but where does navan fit in in all of this??also me whole flat huntin buzz is gonna fall on its arse cos i wont have the spondulix till next freeday friday by which time you'll be gone and wont care one whit if i spend the rest of me days livin in a plastic bag with holes, or somethin equally stylish, with room for a pony.

i need some advice

I know just the place - a pony-sized shed with room for one Bill aswell - it's perfect! It's just behind pub! And the owner says he'll rent it out, but only if you're there at 5:00 with a pint in your hand. Let's go check it out (it's gotta be better than a plastic bag with holes - what if it rains? But then if you didn't have holes in it, and put it over your head for a house, then you wouldn'y be able to breathe - everything wouldn't be so great in Bill's world then, would it? So you see, the only solution to your problem is to accompany us two fine young ladies to the pub, whereby we will have a chat with the guy who owns the shed with room for a pony. Savvy?(that one's for Sue!)

advice?i'd get better advice from that potted plant over there.
what about my coniption of a conundrum?

Do you really need a change of clothes? Be a man!

Anywho, you can go home tonight if you like, nothing wrong with the last bus on a Thursday, totally respectable. Or you could just stay in your friend's house (who might have spare clothes anyway) and stop being a pussy?

Oh billy billly why so silly?
CLEARLY what you do is :
Drink yourself some aly-hol tonight and forget all you worries, then toddle along home and bring clothes galore to work tomorrow and then drink a lot again , go to your crazy partay and again drink copius amounts of the good stuff , then stumble down to that lovely county of Galway where you'll ..... oh I don't know maybe partake in a beverage or two .....

We really are part of a drinking culture, aren't we?

but i dont want to go home tonight. i might go home tomorrow night then go all the way back to dublin and then galway. you see, doesnt make sense. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

We can discuss this in the pub

no. now. i need some one to sort out this busy schedule, weigh up all the options. i dont want to do it for meself. its the last thing i want to do

Oohhhhh helly have you read what that guy just said in the david blaine thing? You want me to kick his narrow minded ass?
And as for you billy boy I fail to see your problem. SURELY twould be reasonable and logical and advisable and sensible and other such words ending in able and ible and al to just go home after the pub tonight and go straight to your partay after pub tomorrow.... savy?

i dont want to go home to night.

Oh Panda! Born on the 20th was so horrid! Will you kick his ass for me? You are, after all, a power ranger. Some other people have already given out to him, that makes me feel all yeay inside

Bill, stop moaning, you're going to the pub, staying the night in Dublin, going home late tomorrow night, then travelling to Galway on Saturday. There, all organised. How do men survive in the world without girlfriends? How do you even remember to get up in the mornings? Sheesh

OK

BORN ON THE BLAH BLAH IS A LEGEND.

He's being rather mean to Hellycub

He's really brought me down .

You told him, the shithead. drink all your troubles away

Heehee, I can't believe I did that! You're right, bring on the wine. NOW, GODDAMMIT