h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i do actually-it goes to the tune of all you need is love by the beatles:

all you need is duff, doo do doo doo do
all you need is duff, doo do doo doo do
all you need is duff, duff, duff is all you need,

theres nothing he can do that can be done
theres nothing he can score that can be scored

theres no way he can make having highlights in your hair look gaaay
hes a llllllll-e-gend.

Oh my. Gay as ham.

In fact I know a song about it:

It's as gay as ham
It's as gay as ham
It's as gay as ham
OH why OH WHY oh WHY oh why
Highlights are for girls you big girls blouse

leave him alone right-hes a f*ckin legend right.
hes in a lucoscde add. its that simple girls, its THAT simple

Sue, was that to the tune of your generic song that you always sing?

Brian, Lucozade sucks ass.

who's this Brian-me name is bill. BILL. everything is great in bills world

"There's nothing he can do that can be done,
There's nothing he can score that can be scored"

Think about it. C'mon... ANY second now...

That's right, you just said Damien Duff was crap

i knew it-ur so fu*kin ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
theres nothin he can do that can be done-everything he does is so special it cant be done by mere mortals like david beckham.

it should have been
everything he does cant be done by mere mortals
but i was tryin to work within the song, you know it wouldnt really sound right. excuse me if i cut a few corners. its only a bit of craic-dont take it so seriously.
that goes for you as well sue-while i was writing this you probably wrote an equally smart assed comment. well 2 fingers to the both o you

I resent that very much so.
There's absolutely no need to pre-empt my insults. Just take them like a man.