h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.
Now please.

Oh there's one

Your party sucks.
I'm stealing the tv and getting the hell outa here.

its at my space. where are you, ring me when you get there.

What the hell are you talkin about you freakin lunatic?
Clearly I'm already here. And I'm sober as a ham.
Where's the cake?

so hams are sober now eh??yesterday they were gay. your fallin into your own loopholes. your standin on your own toes, your peeing against the wind. so let me get this straight, ham is sober and gay??

It's just that ham is so many things to so many people.
At the moment i'm only half way through my ham studies course which i've been doin for the past thirty five years so I don't know if i could even hope to explain to you the complexities of peoples perceptions of ham. Wow you know you're getting drunk when the ham discussions start.

there loads of drink. dont be shy. but what i really want to know is:what did old mr bang bang put in the ham to make it taste soooooo salty, and here's a hint it wasnt the salt.

Oh cmon it was old mr bang bang. Here's a hint - it was the same thing he put in old mrs bang bang and in the cake and in the sheep and in the dog and in that whole herd of rhinos that time at the zoo......

.....the amount of lives irrepairably damaged......

what about that time with Pat Kenny?????????alls i can say is holy moses. anyway, this is kinda morbid talk for a party-who's on for a dip in the pool. someone stick a tune on.
all time great party tunes. discuss.

It has become clear to me why I try to avoid your conversations.

Ah cmon helly grab a ham and enjoy the party.
I was just gonna stick on some System. Always good for a party I dont't care what you two party poopers think.

(Well, I do like ham...)

OK, party on down! Have you ever seen me boogy? It is a sight to behold! Brace yourselves...!

while your beside the fridge, helly, you wouldnt be a good girl and bring me out a nice cool brewski....ahh, thats deadly. brown sugar, rollin stones next.

Beside the fridge? You callin me fat?!

Of course not. Now waddle on over to the fridge and grab me a beer tubby.

That's it, you're really gonna get it now, you just wait, why I oughta...

No. no. no.
i
was
not.
(me singin drunkenly......it is a party)
oooooooooooh let me tell ya bout the brown sugar, just like a young girl should.

aaaaaaaaaaah bet yo mamma was a tent show queen,
and all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen,
im no school boy but i know what i like,
hear me whip the women just around midnight

What's this billy? Don't know any songs about Damien Duff?

Lookin out on the morning rain, I used to feel uninspired...
(careful, here comes my party piece)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN - WOAHHHHHHH