h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ahhhh Red Alert 2. A game that took over my life at many points.
Its great. Everything about it is great. The balancing of the thing rocks, nothing really wins out unless you spend time building in large amounts in which case your likely to give away your surprise and thus get you crippled bad in the long run.

But windows xp with service pack two doesnt play this. No matter I though, I contented myself with dawn of war.

Until the psyker came...

I got Yuri's revenge for christmas a few years back but it didnt work on old blinky and thus I was denyed added red alertage.

Then I got Yuri's revenge...

Then came the deliema.

I could get it working, if I wiped the PC.

An hour later I had everything on disks, a wiped PC, and both installed!

So I have spent the last 2days or so playing through every mission on the first red alert. I even slept well last night (went to bed at 6, woke up at 9*, got up at 3 to play red alert again)!

As I've said before the joy of base building is something I truely love, and so with the traitor Yuri trapped in his Kremlin I gathered my elite 2nd (they were conscripts who all got elite, under the 2nd hot key...) and thus I marched forward with an evil grin. The People of Russia would destroy the traitor!

Then Yuri deployed his mini-me's with there mind control, and they all go took over, or got shot by there comrades. TRAITORS! Did I send in the tanks? No. Traitors deserve one thing - annihilation. They got nuked...

As for the final battle that went a little... well it took an hour longer then it should. My theory of using the russian people to conquer the world rather then tanks and blimps was flawed. I made 100 conscripts and sent them north - they died. In a fit of rage I declared genocide (rather then doing the objective of destroying a building I would basically annhilate all traces of the opposition - Like I said, I'm a stoic tactician). I made as many conscripts as I could, sent them north again and again until nothing remained apart from the chronosphere (teleporter).

I made the largest conscript army I could and whacked the hell march on full blast. Oh yes, this would be good!

Then cried.

The chronosphere was still bringing stuff in with wanton abadon, and mid blink my entire grand army of the soviet union died to a man.

Marks reaction?

Build twenty five apocylpse tanks - the biggest, strongest, shootiest tank in the game. I then spent time ensuring every stone wall, every sandbag, every trace was gone.

Why?

Not just revenge, but the russian chick. I've realised I have an immense weakness for women with good accents. And Because I was certain there was a scene with her at the end the *edited due to pre mod, lots of gorey details about her skin tight uniform and her sweet sweet* ahem.

Anyway I feel the lure of battle once more. Yuri needs to be stopped and as Premier of Soviet Union is my duty to stop him and crush remaining allies! Plus I need to speak to that Russian chick again. Damn her good lookingness and suggestive phrases!




* When I was woken up I was told that my nanna's leg went out completely due to arthritis, was inhospital etc. Still hasnt quite clicked in yet, where as the victory in Alaska still rings true..