h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I appreciated the "She asked me to kiss her..." line, I've never heard it before but I know a similar one that's way too obscene to put here. If your not easy to offend and would like to hear it, leave me a message and I'll give you an e-mail address to contact me on. I reckon your one is funnier.
Bradford...

Thanks for the vote of confidence!! Why not just leave me a message here, it's not as if anyone's going to wander in cos this conversation is only on my page! And anyway, I don't get to use my email more than about once a month, can only get BBC site @ work

It's obscene, the moderators would have my wedding tackle!

I know where you're coming from but the Mods wouldn't ever see it unless you or I 'yikes'-ed it! They don't see EVERYTHING that's posted to H2G2, only those things which other users highlight as potentially being 'illegal'

Go on, live a little. To prove it, I'll say "S**t, f**k, b*******s"

OK, it's now 11am here in the UK, if this post is still here at midday then it can be assumed that it's safe to type stuff!!

PS - Mods, if this post IS taken out, please let me know gently, it's only an experiment

She asked me to give her 12 inches and make her bleed, so I f*cked her 3 times and punched her in the nose.

Bit reluctant because other people read your conversations and THEY alert the moderators. I was reading a list of jokes going back and forth between 2 blokes and the next time I checked half the stuff had been replaced by "Item removed by the moderators" or some such messages. One Einstein seemed confused by this and posted "Hey, where did all the funnies go?". That was the funniest thing on there, the "jokes" were absolute crap. Anyway I thought I'd put the aforementioned genius out of his misery and posted "Looks like someone alerted the laugh police (i.e. moderators)". I just hope I was clear enough for him.

Ha Ha Ha
I see what you mean about people lurking on your page and then yikesing you, pretty unlikely though I reckon!

I sent a message to a bloke the other day (he said he had a miserable love-life) saying that he had it good, I'd just got a filthy e-mail from a woman and that was the highlight of my year. Got a message tonight from a woman saying if that was the highlight that I should get out more! Ouch. See people do read your stuff, and if they don't like it they can yikes ya. What did you think of the line? I still reckon yours is better, but that other one's a real oldie - I heard it years ago, so it's no doubt lost its appeal to me. Familiarity breeds contempt, even for jokes I suppose.

Love the line, not heard it before though - perhaps that means you're much older than me.....!

More than likely, I just had my 40th birthday on Sunday . I take it that you're not anywhere near this sad stage of decomposition yet?