h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi there FS
I am the sub-editor for your Entry "The Riddle of the Sands by Robert Erskine Childers"
The recommended version is A87853170 which you will need to subscribe to

I have changed your link to "spyfi" to the Approved version

I have changed the incorrect spelling of Carruthers to the correct way

I have changed "Dolman" to "Dollman"

>>In the morning light the Dulciballa reviled herself<< I presume you meant "revealed herself" so I have changed that


I have queries:
>>Davies rows them down the length of the fiord<< = do you mean "fjord" there?
>>This part of the coast extends from the northern border of Begum to Denmark. = should that be "Belgium"?
>>Dollman explained that he was getting ready to sail to his home in Hamburg, and suggested they sail together as far as the channel leading to the ship channel leading to Kielmod. = I think there's some repetition there, can you tell me what it should say, please?

...continues reading

GB

>>>I have changed "Dolman" to "Dollman"

Just rechecked the book, should actually be 'Dollmann' (two l's and two n's)



>>In the morning light the Dulciballa reviled herself<< I presume you meant "revealed herself" so I have changed thatbiro

spell-checker


I have queries:
>>Davies rows them down the length of the fiord<< = do you mean "fjord" there?

I used the spelling used in the book, correct as you see fit.


>>This part of the coast extends from the northern border of Begum to Denmark. = should that be "Belgium"?

Yes


>>Dollman explained that he was getting ready to sail to his home in Hamburg, and suggested they sail together as far as the channel leading to the ship channel leading to Kiel. = I think there's some repetition there, can you tell me what it should say, please?

Dollmann explained that he was getting ready to sail to his home in Hamburg. He suggested they sail together until their courses diverged near the entrance of the Keil ship canal.



F S

I have changed all instances of "Dollman" to "Dollmann"

>>Dollmann explained that he was getting ready to sail to his home in Hamburg. He suggested they sail together until their courses diverged near the entrance of the Keil ship canal.<< replaced

I've also added some h2g2 links. I'm now all done with my subbing, please read it through and if you're happy I will return it to the Eds for final polish.



GB

Only one minor quibble, and as usual it is with my own choice of words, not your edit


>>A gale was blowing across the North Sea, but Davies was anxious to prove that he, and his boat, could handle the weather. When they passed the shelter of the last island, the wind and waves became quite strong. Dollmann brought his yacht back to them and offered to guide him on a short-cut through the sands.

When I used the word 'them' I was personifying the yacht, the point that Davies was alone is important as there would be no witnesses.

It occurs to me that this might be read that there was more than one person on the boat by the average reader.

It might be better to change this to;

Dollmann brought his yacht back to the 'Dulcibella' and offered to guide him on a short-cut through the sands.

Everything else, including the links and pictures look great.

Thank you

F S

Done

Returned to Eds



GB