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Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 1

h5ringer

Hi Fsmiley - dolphinS smiley - cheerup Your friendly sub-editor dropping by.

I'm working on your superb Entry on the Naval War of 1812. The edited version is at A87767572, so you'll probably want to pop over and subscribe to that version.

I have a couple of questions:

1. <>
I don't think desecration is the right word here. What word did you mean?

2.<>
Again not certain what you intended here.

I'll carry on subbing.
h5 smiley - run


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 2

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

Hi H5

Thank you for taking this on.smiley - biggrin

1. <>
I don't think desecration is the right word here. What word did you mean?

******
He was left with no orders, or any way of asking for instructions.
Perhaps;

Left on his own, without orders or instructions, Porter decided...

smiley - popcorn

2.<>
Again not certain what you intended here.

There is an attitude in Canada that the war of 1812 was very much a Canadian war. If you look at my 1st Link after "War is Declared" It shows the Canadian view of the land war.

Not sure of a better phrasing at the moment, still on my 1st smiley - coffee

maybe "was" should be "had been"?

I'll think about it, but if you find a better way- do ahead

Thanks again

Fsmiley - dolphinS


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 3

h5ringer

Perhaps <>

smiley - coffeesmiley - coffeesmiley - smiley


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 4

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

Perhaps <>

My thought, almost exactly, although I would drop the word "finally" as that seems to begs for another entry on a different subject.

Fsmiley - dolphinS


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 5

h5ringer

Glad we were of the same mind smiley - biggrin

I think I'm all done here, so I'll leave it with you for a couple of days. If you spot anything you want changing, let me know here, otherwise I'll return it to the Eds.

See you on the FP smiley - ok


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 6

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

>The United States engaged in a series of attacks on
French-flagged vessels from 1797 to 1800 known today
as The Quasi-war. From 1801-5 the United States Navy
and Marine Corps engaged <

The link text might be better be limited to "the Marine
corps", A Navy link could also easily be added,

the simple one is

http://www.navy.com/

a better one in context is

http://www.history.navy.mil/

>War is Declared

The official declaration of war was enacted on 18 June
1812 by the United States. Speculations abound about
the motives and goals sought by the US. Many believe it
was an attempt to invade and capture Canada, and some
of the initial campaigns seem to support this view.
Others believe it was just an attempt at recognition from
the European powers.<



Others believe it was just an attempt
recognition from the European powers.

My worong word smiley - sorry

I was going to suggest you could link to my entry on
Benedict Arnold, but I see you already did smiley - ok








Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 7

h5ringer

smiley - biroSeparate links from and added

smiley - biroan attempt recognition
That was how I read it anyway but no harm in making it crystal-clear smiley - ok


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 8

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

Hi H5;

Read through one last time with a fine-tooth comb

The Prelude to War

>Commodore Barron was tried by courts martial and suspended from duty for five years without pay...<

Should probably be changed to court martial (singular) although 3 men were tried, we only talk about the Commodore.

****************

Constitution vs Java

>With only two boats remaining, Constitution began the remove the English crew. Before the final sinking, Java's wheel was removed and re-installed on Constitution to replace the one that had been destroyed by her own gun fire.<

remove = removal and >destroyed by her own gun fire.< might better be "destroyed by Java's gun fire.

********************

Shannon vs Chesapeake

>As Chesapeake approached her enemy she crossed her stern, in an excellent position to rake her with her cannons. For some unknown reason Chesapeake held her fire until the two ships were side by side where they began battering each other on almost equal terms.<

I read a few too many her's here, let's try;

As Chesapeake approached the enemy she crossed her stern, in an excellent position to rake her with the Chesapeake's cannons. For some unknown reason the Chesapeake held her fire until the two ships were side by side where they began battering each other on almost equal terms.

***************

Exploits of the Essex

Both these ships had{add coma} however{add coma} been engaged in their own successful enterprises and did not arrive at any of the rendezvous points.

Just a couple fine points, I believe we are done.

Fsmiley - dolphinS


Your Entry ' Naval War 1812' - subby calling

Post 9

h5ringer

Thanks F smiley - dolphin S smiley - ok

smiley - biro Corrections made. If we're all done now, I'll return this to to the Eds.

*sets sail for the FP*


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