h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So some clever bottywipe has built a new worm (Blast, or Lovsan). As a result, all day at work, and here now, the internet is running like a three-legged donkey with a hangover.

How on earth do these idiots manage to fool themselves into thinking they're clever?? They are as clever as the pratts that vandalise bus shelters, or run their keys down the side of cars. There's sad, and then there's pointless - these geeks spend pointless lives doing pointless damage, and I suggest that the punishment should fit the crime - once caught, give the pointless muppets a dose of a real virus - ebola springs to mind. If that's too harsh, then maybe just a worm of their own - tapeworm - as a bit of a warning.

Yes, you're right, it is just vandalism, and made much easier by the poor design of operating systems. I have XP, which being fairly recent you might expect to be fairly mature, but I still get patches from Microsoft about once a week to cover loopholes. I now have hundreds of patches, making for a very untidy o/s.

JR, I have XP and I have never downloaded any of the patches - as you know the level of my computer literacy, this will not surprise you. But - should I have a patch or two....for decoration?

Morning CG, the only Microsoft patches I have installed are the small ones that download themselves and then as for permission to install: most of them seem to be security fixes, closing loopholes that shouldn't have been there in the first place.
I did once try Service Pack One, a large download described as 'important', it completely wrecked the system and took me several days to fix. I might try it again sometime in the future, I know Windows a lot better now.

Should you wish to try a patch or two, goto Start/Help and Support/Windows Update where they will tell you what is available for your system, and you may download anything you feel may suit your decor.

Hi Chel, Sorry to butt in on your chat with JR but, yes, you really should adorn your XP with patches like a 1970's pair of faded jeans. Go to the Microsoft website and follow the route to Windows Update. If you've never applied *any* it could be a long session...

I'd suggest that you sign up to the Windows Update notification service (sorry - can't remember how I did that, maybe JR will clue you up) which will notify you of any new updates you should be applying as and when they are released.

BTW, I'm assuming you run a firewall, which would keep the latest worm out of your particular patch of soil...

Hi JR. Have to say that I've never had any significant problems applying patches (apart from one or two that simply refused to install). My eXPerience is obviously very different - I've found XP to be the best OS so far, but that's not to say I disagree with your contention that it should be a lot more robust - I believe it's largely based on NT which is not quite so N these days...

As I said above, I had big trouble with SP1, but I knew very little about windows at the time, might try it again soon, meanwhile I'll stick with the small patches.

Hi J.R. It seems C.G. stole my thunder although I am still stuck with Win 98 not XP, NT etc. I also wouldnt mind some decorative stickons and have looked at the Windows Update but don't want to fill my disk with stuff i don't need. As a fellow computer illiterate are there any updates that you regard as essential, in other words what would you recommend that ia also safe to download and doesn't take up too much space.

Your Humble and Obedient Servant, Mr.Darnell

Windows Update should offer to check your system to see which updates might benefit you, it will then offer you a list of updates, some marked 'critical': look at these first, it should give you the option of downloading or getting more info for each one, including the size of the file. If it is a patch for something you never use, don't download it. 'Critical' updates for things you use are probably worth having, also anything else that looks useful and not too large. If you are short of space, avoid anything purely cosmetic, like it doesn't make it work better, just look prettier.

Ta, JR..WILCO!

Dear August - I didn't mean to steal your thunder or anything!

D'you want it back? in lieu of smiley....

It's okay CG you can keep the thunder, I'm going out know, don't want to be struck by lightning, just keep quite about K.C...shhh.

To protect against virus worms go to WWW. Antivirus.com. Fortunately I've got Win 98 so should be alright.