h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey girl, good to know I'm only one link in a very long chain of people with Problems. I'm not the oldest, and I'm not the youngest. I don't know if that is reassuring to you, it wasn't when I was your age, but now I find it somewhat comforting to know I'm not the only one who has been thru what I've been thru, and-unfortunately- not the last.
I read your site, and think we may have some in common. I'm not bipolar myself, at least never diagnosed, but my mood swings can get pretty extreme, and both my parents have been diagnosed with different mental problems, some medical, some ptsd related- if you know what I mean. I share some ptsd myself. Not a happy carefree childhood, mine.
Ah, well, life goes on. You know, those were my dying grandmother's last words. "Life goes on." Life sux, and then you die.
I too retreat into books, movies, music, whatever I can, because I find that when I come back to "reality" , I can better deal with it.
My favorite movie is "the Matrix" guess why?!!
Anyway, write me back. I am notoriously unreliable, but I love to write, so give me a reason!

Hey wow you replied! That's an exciting thing! People often don't reply!
Anyway hey, I'm here and I'm around.
I don't really find it much of a comfort, because I often feel that I'm making it up and that I should just get up and get on with life and stop being such a sissy.
Today I've got three hours in the car going down south to see friends. They're having a party tonight and my only hope is to get completely smashed and not care about it any more. I don't know. Usually when I'm thrown into a social situation I deal with it really well, it's mostly the bit before it and then afterwards. But I don't cry, just crawl back into bed and go like a lead weight.
And then in the social thing I get frustrated and jumpy. It's not that bad, just annoying.
Oh and there was Tuesday when I walked 15 mins to the doctors in my pyjamas with no shoes on. And he STILL didn't really take me seriously! So i wandered around the village like it and got awful blisters. They've only just got so I can walk around without feeling them!
Anyway. something amazing about me...what can I say? It's all in my Personal Space! Bother it all! Erm okay, I have a black labrador dog called Phoebe, she's nine. I like "A Beautiful Mind" and "Amelie".
I like all sorts of music but don't actually listen to it that often.
I always have my curtains open so I can see the stars, the rain and the sun. Otherwise I get panicky that there's someone outside.
Erm...on one hand my third finger is longer than my first and on the other it's the other way round.

Katkat

Of course I replied!
I think I remember you(even though we never met!).
Well, what I mean is, I can totally relate to your sitch, even though its not identical. I hate social situations, too. I get downright panicky. I don't get smashed, don't have too. If I'm depressed, I don't want to get worse, and if I am actually having a good time, well, let's just say I have been accused of being drunk when I wasn't, more than once!
I hope you have fun, and hope to hear from you again soon. Just want you to know that even though I'm on the other side of the world, there is someone out here, thinking of you.

*SCRREEEAAAMMMM*

I HATE MY PARENTS!
they're being stupid because...

on saturday I was really hyper and then...got drunk (whoops) so they saw me hyper AND drunk which isn't a good combo so having seen that they're DOUBLE PLUS worried now and it's making them MISERABLE. Mum wants to "talk about it" and dad doesn't want to. But they're both really worried and upset...and I just feel cheesed off as it's not fair!
And then mum's friend called me to ask if I wanted to go and live there because mum and dad sounded as if they're going off the rails. I said thank you very much but it wasn't practical for the psych etc.
I then asked dad what's going on when he got home today and he said mum's upset about me. He then told me not to get self-centred because nobody is blaming me. Now did he or did he not just blame me?
So now I feel crappy about this and as if I want to hide in a hole.
PLUS he said I have to go to college and he doesn't like the fact I'm just loafing around doing nothing and he's worried and agosuhfipwgtrW
12

ahem...sorry just needed to rant and be hacked off

First of all, I hope you had a good time. If not, then why bother going? Right? That is neither here not there, though, and I know what its like wanting to rant.
Secondly, if your dad doesn't want to talk, he is the one you NEED to talk to, not that that means you'll want to. If your mom wants to talk, at least she is trying to address the problem, which it seems your dad is ignoring, and thereby making it worse.
Finally, you should go to college. Not to make your parents happy, or even so much because it is what you "should" do, but because when you look back on your life, it will be the things you didn't do that you'll regret most, not the ones you did.
I'm going to be 30 in September, and I never got the chance to go to college. I didn't think it a big deal at the time, because I always wanted to be a writer, and the only way to learn how to write is just to write. I went out and lived life, got a lot of experience under my belt, and am now broke, unemployed, and living with my parents again until I can get back on my feet! I wish I had had the chance to go to college, because now I have nothing to "fall back on" since my writing career never got off the ground, mainly because, as we've discussed before, my "severe" emotional problems translate into procrastination.
I wish, oh how do I wish!, that I could go back in time to about 15, and do high school all over again, so as to get the chance to go to college, so I could have accomplished something in my life by now.
Not trying to tell you what to do, of course, but something to think about. Also, I wouldn't take your dad's problems onto yourself. He is obviously in denial about reality, not to mention, obsessed with himself. Men.
Anyways.... did you have fun?

Heya sorry I havent been around for so long. I wasz on holiday last week and thenyesterday on a whim I decided to jump on a train down to my friend matts house.
Im in a very bouncy flippant mood which has meant Ive vanished all my friends because Ive decided I dont need them anymore.
It also means that like a puppy I go bounce bounce bounce, snooze, bounce bounce bounce, snooze.
Im also thinking of filing for DLA. However if my dad ever found out I would be well and truly busted as he approves of working for what you get and not having hand outs etc etc.

How are you? What are you up to?

Hey girl!
Sorry I disappeared on you! If you read my journal entry you'll see the basic story of why I've been AWOL. Truth is, I've been entirely too bummed to do much of anything lately. I'm still trying to find a job, so I can get out of my parents house, get my own space again, and LIVE again. It's funny how easy it is to forget how wonderful life is. But even down in the darkest hole, you can still see the stars up in the sky or feel the rain on your face.
I so want to be a writer, but I know that won't pay the bills, probably for years. So I procrastinate, tell myself that I don't really want to be a writer, that I can be happy working in some dump of an office with no chance for change, advancement, or excitement. No progress. Life is change. Change is mandatory. Progress isn't. And I want both. I hate my life right now, but am oh so slowly learning the wisdom of that old Chinese proverb, "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
Anyway, here I am again, hoping you're doing well, and that you'll forgive me my moods, my tears, my computer crash! Hope to hear from you soon.

*struggles in*

if you go look at my journal you can see what's been going on...

otherwise how you doing? sorry for my long absence