h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Seems as if yet another Monday has passed me by. You know what day comes after Monday, right? Yeah, it’s a day starting with a t. Days starting with ts are never good for me. Tomorrow I go and have my wisdom teeth excised. Sure, my mouth hurts like the dickens now, but having tissue removed is never pleasant. What makes it even worse is that I was only allowed to eat a light supper. I can’t eat anything until eight hours after being cut on, and I get really, really nasty when I’m hungry. Even better, they can’t put me on painkillers because I have bad reactions to all of that stuff. I don’t want them to anesthetize me, and the doctor and I have been arguing about that. I’m sorry, but after having my first oral surgery and being rushed to the hospital because the laughing gas induced an asthma attack, I feel that I have reason. I doubt I’ll be able to eat much for the next few days, so my body weight is going to plummet. That means that my mother will invariably schedule an appointment with my GP who will put me on yet another fat diet. I’m not feeling like a star patient.

On a lighter note, today I got Dee (the Cavalier bitch I’m working with who has never been on lead before) to walk for about twenty minutes on lead without heavy baiting or much stopping. I think she’s gotten the idea that I ignore her unless she decides to walk and walk nicely, at that. What tickled me to death is that she was enjoying it and was working without reinforcement. Royce (the Cavalier dog I’m working with who is an absolute wiggle worm) decided to stand still and free stack for about thirty seconds at least four times when I was working with him as well as let me look at his teeth twice with minimal struggle. I could care less about winning and could care less about the money when they decide to work for ME like that. They won’t do it for themselves and they won’t do it for food, because they’re more interested in pleasing me. I don’t own them, I don’t pay for them, and, yet, they still work for ME. I think it says something exceptional about the nature of animals.

Nothing particularly interesting has happened recently. My father ruined my favorite spatula and burned bologna all over my favorite frying pan. Come on, who eats bologna and who would dream of frying it? The smell is absolutely vile. I’m trying to figure out why a collection of spoons has suddenly manifested itself on my desk. They all appear to be clean and of all different sizes, but I cannot figure out how they got there. I counted and there are thirteen: 2 long teaspoons, 4 regular spoons, 1 soup spoon, 3 tablespoons, 1 sauce spoon, one ¼ teaspoon, and one ½ tablespoon. What really confuses me is that all of the spoons are in different areas of the kitchen and all ended up on my desk in different locations. I’m probably going absolutely mad. I did get three bottles of glue Friday, however, and that makes me very happy. I’m going to make two more APUSH collages cut from an APUSH text book… I also need to do something with all of these flower pictures I have. Then I’ll need to make frames for them and I hate using the miter saw. I’m currently trying to convince my mother to buy me a sandblaster because I don’t want to pay $1100 for it…go figure, right? * shakeshead* What is the world coming to when a mother won’t even buy her daughter a sandblaster? Probably the same state that the world is coming to when that same daughter manages to convince her younger brother that three seersucker, summer shirts are really ugly so that she can wear them. Hey! They’re nice shirts and look a heck of a lot better on me… besides, they were getting too small for him. Who cares if they button up the wrong side?

Oh, just as a suggestion to fellow 1984 lovers, read The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn. It’s incredible.

I can confirm for you that yes this tuesday is a bitch.

How'd yours go, before mine gets really rolling?

Mine wasn't quite a bitch but I had to wake up much earlier than I have for the past few weeks and interact with people I've never met before who are likely to be the only people I see this summer. A bit stressful.

But I have internet access now!

YAY for internet access! Is that for your internship?

Stacy miserable update: I have just ingested a miracle pill they call demerol and hope to feel something other than excruciating pain within the next twenty minutes. I cannot swallow, I cannot talk, I HURT. I only hit two nurses today (aren't you proud?) and didn't injure either. This is not fun and I haven't eaten in eighteen hours. I am misery.

I never liked hospitals

Yuck.

Last time I was in a hospital it wasn't bad as far as hospital visits go, meaning pretty damn miserable. But the time before I had to have surgery, not my favorite of pastimes, and couldn't eat for a week because of the anasthesia. Poor Tacysa.

You've got my full sympathy. Did the painkillers work?

The painkillers work, alright. I spent four hours hallucinating, having mild seizures, and mumbling incoherent things about triangles and how only cats should be put in jello, not horses.

I don't understand why they even try to drug me anymore.

For fun?

The word jello always amuses me. You silly Americans .

Must be. Everyone seems to find it entirely amusing when I get completely stoned on children's dosages of medication. Damned scary for me.

Why does the word jello amuse you? *cockshead* The name sounds exactly like the product is, bouncy and jiggly.

Yes but you must know the real word is "jelly" .

No, jelly is the stuff that comes in a jar that you put on bread. Jello is flavored gelatin.

Exactly.

I refused to take the full doses of hospital provided medicines, since I have very similar results. I can see how that would be amusing for the people around you, if not for yourself.

I don't know, there's something pretty terrifying about seizures. The hallucinations are kind of fun once you realize what's going on, but it's not something I intend on doing on purpose. Well, I guess that ruins both of our hopes for recreational drug use, eh?

Well I wasn;t going to take any anyways

Don't blame you at all.

Don't worry about him, he's never any fun.