h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

She's calling someone ignorant. Why, you ask? Well, her cat got taken to the animal shelter because her neighbors called animal control. The cat has been digging up their plants and what-not and so they had animal control bring out a trap. The cat is at the pound and she's calling the neighbors ignorant. She says that they should have talked to her about it or put up a fence. Since when do fences keep out cats? Besides, why should they waste their money putting up a useless fence when it's not their cat that's causing the problem? They didn't poison, shoot, or otherwise damage the cat. Makes perfect sense to me, but that might be because I, too, am ignorant.

Lord knows... And who is she? People are often a bit too touchy about their pets calling them all sorts of cuddly things when they're really fat, big, hairy, unhygienic, and vicious s.

Hmmm... damn, that was one incomprehensible sentence, what I meant to say was this: People are often a bit too touchy about their pets, it's a common mistake to make; They call them all sorts of cuddly things when they're really fat, big, hairy, unhygienic, and vicious s.

I understood it, sadly. She just joined the site so I kindly deleted it from plain view on my page. Sadness.

Life is like a sand trap, when you get out it looks as if eveything is stupid.

but isnt most everything?

No, Most whould mean there is somthing missing.

but isnt there?

Er... possibly.

*confused*

precisely.

MUHAHAH! I have confused you once again!

I have no recollection of any such incident.

Doubtlessly, you've only bewildered yourself... I'm too perfect for such an incident.

You said you were confused. Why say such a thing if it weren't true?

To delude you all into thinking that I was, after all, human, of course. But now there is no need for such a disguise any longer! I'm a mutant and highly intelligent carrot from outer space, bow down before me!!!

Er...carrots are icky. Raw, they're fine, but cooked? You have green hair?

I don't want to be cooked. Not that I would ever descend to such depths as cannibalism, but cooked carrots are horribly uninteresting.

Course, comes with the job...

Truly, you have green hair?

I said I was a mutant carrot... I MIGHT have green hair, but I might have another colour...

Aww, that takes all the fun out of my day.