h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

pmpl
That was a cracker one, it has just made me pee my pants lol

Doctor said go over to the window and put your tongue out. I said why is the light better over there? He said no I just hate the woman opposite.

You have already told me that one, but i still laughed lol

Doctor doctor i think i am invisible.
Doctor says NEXT

It happens
Santa was having a bad hair Christmas. The Elves and fairies had gone on strike. The reindeer had run off, and the machines in the toy factory had broken down, and wouldn't you know it, the serviceman couldn't come out until after Christmas."Like to help you out, guv, but you know how it is, busy time of the year,see, guv." As he loaded the toys onto the sleigh the runner broke, the presents fell out into the snow and the labels came off, so he didn't know which gift was for whom. Mrs Claus had gone to a WI meeting and left nothing to eat. All he could find in the fridge was a piece of mouldy cheese. But he found a bottle of whiskey. He sat there drinking away, cursing Christmas and mouthing deprecations about the season. When suddenly there came a ring on his door bell. There stood a little fairy. She was a bright cheery happy little thing with a happy smile and bubbly personality. "Hello Father Christmas," she chirupped brightly. "I've brought you your Christmas tree."
And that is why there's always a fairy on top of a Christmas tree.

Oh Tony you have made me laugh so much, i had to run to the toilet lol
That is why i have taken so long to reply lol

The mother in law went for a face lift, when they saw what was under it they dropped it again.

Oh Tony you have done it again lol
I am to say this but i will have to go, cos my eyes are dropping off with tiredness.
So i wish you a goodnight, and hope to do this again tomorrow aswell as chat
Take care cos i care.
xx*NATS*xx

Goodnight Nats

Something to wake up to

Notice in a field.

You'd better be able to cross this field in 9.8 secs for the bull can do it in 10

Hiya Tony

Well what can i say i guess you have done it again lol <
I havent been too good at all today, i have had another er migraine
I also ache all over

Sorry to hear you've been unwell. The heavy rain we've had makes my joints ache, so I know how you feel.
Still I'm sure that you'll soon perk up when you start taking part in some of the games on the threads.

Tony for saying that, i might just do that.
My aches are to do with the menopause aswell, and they are very unpleasant.

Hiya Tony

to say this well i am off to bed, for i want to see if i can sleep it off.
I hope that i haven't offended you.
Anyway i am going now, so as you go home please take care
xx*NATS*xx

How could you have offended me? Sleep well.

I don't know really i think it's bcos my hormones have all gone to pot.
I am for saying that, and i am glad that i havent offended you.
Anyway i am going now
Do me a favour please Tony, please take care
And thanx for the i needed it.
< xx*NATS*xx
Oh before i go could you put another one up, so i can read it tomorrow afternoon please.
I would really be grateful see i am falling asleep already lol

I got on the bus and said do you stop at the Thames, she said if we don't there'll be a bloody big splash.
I got on the bus and said do you stop at the Ritz, she said what on my wages

Hiya Tony

Well it did make me as i thought it would lol
How are today, i hope thaat you are well.

Fine
Last night shift for a while, many lates next week. Then off for a few days.
Xmas shopping.

Are you serious...I'm a certified alcoholic!

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Never eat on an empty stomach