h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3610379.stm
oh my god

Good evening! Glad to see you here again today. I hope you're feeling up to it all, and that it's not too busy for you. I see we just had a flurry, and we were busy in the day yesternight, so perhaps also today. I'm a lazy cow, and thus can't help hoping it'll be a slack one.

What would you like to do, prior to our shifting onto the demon contract, as I feel sure we are doomed to be?

We could play a little fish and lizard since you are feeling so chatty. There is still a potentially poisoned dart flying towards my fishy self over there.

Save me, save me...aargh

N

you always want to play that game. And I'm sure you'll be fine whatever happens. I find this joba lot more draining now that we've got the demon contract, and being chatty is not the same as being mentally viable. I've had a draining month, also, what with your mother and her various trials, J, vode and my birthday sucking my bits and energy. I'm sorry to say 'please, no, don't make me wring out my grey matter when it is so dry already', but I feel I must. Idle chatter is nice, and I can also browse my news pages, and fill you in on nonsence and so on. But I am feeling quite chatty, I suppose. I enjoy the typing, it's something I love about writing in general, and who knows, maybe I'll get even better and faster the more I do it. I definately have improved since I started working here, and as I catch most, tho not all, typos as they pass through my field of vision. God, I hate this job sometimes. CHRIST. Busy busy busy. Is it just me, or have the lines gotten a lot quieter since we've gone onto this new contract. Well, at least we no have some free muckyds. Funny man. Please no vode.

nah, tis all fine. Yummy sarnis. Idle chatter is nice too, brainless like. Do you wann talk about those bloody women? Oddities on news pages? Play a game?

Huh, huh, huh?

N

Huh? What bloody women? I don't know what you meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean........................

If you tell me the above, then we could do a combinatin of the three. Of course, we will be on vode before too long, and that will scupper us. Heaven forefend that we should not be flat out, like those oor poor customer service johnnies. Know what I mean. Anyway, I suppose that we can do anything. But what bloody women?

Y'know, the catholic, idiot and old woman women.

duh!

N

Bloody bloody bloody bloody voda.

We should look for different jobs because we're going to end up doing voda all the time and I hate it.

I'm glad I have voda because if I liked it I'd do it and I hate it. Oh no, wait, I have to do it anyway. Bugger.

N

Oh, those bloody women. Now I understand.



Here we are again. I f only I felt equal to talking about the above subject. After all that goddammned registration, all I wanna do is have some book. It is very exciting. Perhaps after break, or in the last hour or somesuch. Or I suppose you could enforce it on me. antway

Perhaps we could talk script on the way home.


N

yes, that is a possible contingency.

What shall we have for dinner.

(scintillating conversation this. I bet lurkers are thrilled)

Lurkers be damned dinner scints me.

I've got ribs. You could have pizza? Leftover party food?

Obviously I'm not feeling big on kitchen slave duty.

N

yes, pizza or leftover party food sounds nice to me. I can see you not being kitchen slave, as that does allow us to eat, wash and then play lots of silly games on our new old ps1. Joy for us. Let us hope your vile and occasionally obsessive (god no don't say anal)mother doesn't repeatedly phone until 3 in the morning. Anyway. What left over party food is there, and for god's sake, throw those defrosted items OUT.

Oh fine I'll throw them out. What do I care I have ribs.

I think there's a bit of almost everything left.

I do have to look at tribunal stuff a bit but shouldn't take long.

N

Well hello again. I do hate having to move into the noisy sweaty bearpit that is this side of the building. You know how I like my quiet time. Anyway, how long before we're on vode? My guess is in the next five minutes, because dq is plainly dead. I hope there will be a satisfactory conclusion reached, because I do not want to be a goddam customer servicer, ta very much. I think they're currently in flux, and god knows the dq isn't going well. What think you?

our jobs as dq servers are not of the safe.

Y'know we're going to be forced over onto customer service hell sooner or later and probably sooner. Team leader said as much yesterday 'we'll all be doing it soon'. oh crap.

Don't know if we'll have to do voda with imminence. Problems are probably leading to calls of much shortness.

Fingers crossed.

N

we are, you know, logged in and all aren't we?

hope and pray.

You know, though, if we had to di it all the time it probably wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps it's just me

Looking around, vode does seem quite quiet at the mo. Prob tho when people get back in from the shops it will not be. always lots of registrations at weekends

I'd still hate it, even if we were doing it all the time. It sucks

ihateher