h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hurt my schnozz.

Misery and decline.

Fatty-in-woe

poor you...off to find yellow sub...

A587513 flea market

A295562 edited

Thank you hunni.

We could try and have a small conversations, if you'd like to. I don't know what we could talk about, though. But I fear that I won't be able to keep your attention, as other people seem to be more interesting to talk to. But we could try, maybe? Baby?

Dadidiatta dadidiatta dayaya
Dadidiatta dadidiatta dayaya

Oh oh oh!!!!
I've got a subject we could have! We could discuss wether we should watch a Carry On tonight. And then, once we've decided, we could decide which one to watch. And if we've decided not to, we could decide what to do instead!
Sounds simple, doesn't it? But I guarantee hours of fun. Well AN hour of fun.

(Isn't it nice that they don't shut them at ten like with the message boards?)

I hope you will take me up on this offer, as a refusal may cause offence. And you can guess what that would mean. A dissatified customer, and they withdraw their custom. Just imagine how you'd feel if I withdrew my custom, and all because you refused to talk to me one lonely night. I should consider very carefully, if I were you.

Carry On Fatty

In addition to the above, I just had a woman who wanted Channel 4 to find out the address of the Big Brother auditions in London. Thought I ought to tell you, cos I know how nosy you are.

Isn't skegness a crappy town name. The name alone makes me want to never go there, let alone the callers we get from there. And why do the entire population of Alifax drop their aiches.

I don't think we should watch a carry on. We're supposed to be getting to bed early and a refusal to snuggle often offends. And you don't want me to pull that angry red face again...

Um. Maybe an ep of something though. See if J got bubblewrap and wrap some stuff.

Now how am I supposed to read the new message when I'm still replying to the last one.

But if I don't mention these things, then you won't know them. You don't need that red red red face. just the following one:



Cos we all know who that looks like, and I know she likes to , but she's much prettier.

Well, we can see about the ep thing, but I would have to be involved heavily at the planning stage. I don't think John has any money, that's why he wanted to take the game back today, but we weren't up. He's getting a touch stroppy about it an' all.

What, then, would you like to watch an ep of? Choose your answer carefully, as through several of those tasty looking doors are black swamps of ooze bent on eating you, swarms of black bees bent on stinging you, and a clutch of small leprecauns bent on singing lusty song at you. Through one and one only is a satisfied girlfriend waiting to join you in televisual bliss.

So, fishlady, what's it to be?

Oh, we have to give john the money for the hours...

I don't know. Oh Oh Oh J says they're bringing out the whole season of West Wing in march, a £40 box set.

Nice. The new season? I need to get soem cash out tonight anyway, so we'll make sure we've got it. I wanted to get The Hours anyway, as I know how one feels, as do I, and thus thought it so.

ANyway. Maybe some West Wing. I don't think that would lead you into the goo. But you didn't seem to enter into the dicussion of what to watch, and sidestepped the whole issue. Well, don't think you're sticking me with it mate, I want a credit for this BAD SERVICE I have recieved, and I'll be reporting you to your superiors. Just a moment...

Dear csr. I have recieved word that an unsatisfied customer is unsatisfied with you. What have I told you about shouting 'WHERE' and other such infractions? Now I can feel people withdrawing their custom although YOU WERE WARNED. So what can we do? I suggest some form of penance, and a long hot bath/cold shower. And a touch of information about WHAT YOU WANT TO WATCh TONIGHT. Jeez, lady, not much to ask.

I hope this finds you well.

Fatty
Manager and All-Round Lizard

Tee hee hee.

A highly fun game, no? I think we should embark on it next time we go into Pointy. What say tou, supreme fish a la kipper?

Fatty

I don't think we could possibly do that well. A superb effort.

and stop calling me tou

N

How dare you point out one of my extremely rare typos, when I do no such thing to you.
And I don't care, wouldn't it be some kind of fun for a wet Tuesday? Wet playtime? Wet break?
Have you no spirit of adventure and striking out into an unknown land? I can't wait for 11.

And I wasn't pointing it out to be Meeeeeeeeeeeeeean just because I thought it was funny.

Time doth drag.

Mutilating m&b books would certainly be more fun than reading them.

Mayhap we should.

65

n

Time doth drag, I concur. I don't quite know what to do, but if it gets a bit less busy then it will probably go a bit quicker. At least for me, as I will be reading. If it's dragging and I'm reading, then try to visualise how I'm perceiving time, and you will see that it is quicker than you are.
I just had a man with an extraordinary accent.

I'm not entirely sure by what you mean by 65, but I shall take it to mean minutes left, and counter with 42

woman caller, as she left the phone, thinking I couln't hear I'm sure, started going on about what a sexy voice I have.

36

N

You noisy swine, there are other CSRs about this very day, you know.

You do have a sexy voice, although I say it as shouldn't. You know I'm completely in thrall to it brushing past my ear. Not that I'm suggesting you use your sex voice on calls. Anyway.

Has it not been far too busy this last half arn. I am pleased that the end is near, and suprisingly chipper considering how tired I've been at this hour these last two nights, and the continued abscence of quality sleep. And the rude and quite frankly terrifying awakening we had to endure last evening. Or is that this morning?

Anyway, I'm just rambling on to fill up time and space, and so that I can say
22

Sweetness.

I have only this moment seen your declaration under the kit kat which I moved and immediatly replaced with book earlier. But it is most sweet of you, and I was overcome with gratitude and love. You touch me, even from all the way over there. And although it isd not my turn,
14

Yes truly horrific to have our sleep interrupted like that.

Just had a woman who could make saying please last at least 4 seconds.

And a man who wasn't listening at all. took ages to get the town out of him then:

ME: I'm just looking for that.

IDIOT: No thanks, just text it.

ME: I'm still looking for it, just a moment.

IDIOT: Yeah, thanks. Bye.

ME: But I'm still looking...

IDIOT: *hangs up*

Also I just typed 'just a moment' instead of odeon, because that's what I was saying.

7

Fooooooooool