h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah! Dear Kipper. I thought I'd start firing off messages as soon as I could, in order to write more. It's 5:24, and it's not too busy, flurries you know. I haven't asked anyone about finishing early, but there's no-one much around here to ask. How is the kitten doing? Sweet little creature. Is she still woozy? Has she eaten?

And how are you? What are you doing? I'm oddly content, though missing you. Oh, it keeps having gaps. I is now 5:47, after a hectin 15 minutes or so, which involved them changing the queue montitors live!!! Ooooh! So now they've got Telewest on them as well, and I'm taking the odd Telewest call. But yes, gaps. I'm suprised, actually, that it's so quiet. Maybe in for a quietish night. Oh, and the team leader woman who was about yesterday, not the night woman, the other one, was actually taking calls! Talk about odd!

Um. I went to greggs and bought a tuna roll and a toffee apple slice for me tea. I thought you'd approve. And I've got me bits from home as well, so I will not starve. It is now 5:58. Oh yes, my breaks are 7 and 9:15. Hopefully, that last one will not exist, and I'll get an early finish. Although, they may no longer be giving out unpaid leave? I don't know. There's a gap between each call now. Quite a long one in that case...And now another. Um. I did take two two telewest calls in a row earlier. How dull I am. I'll be phoning you soon. Yes I will. Yes I will. Well, at 7, which isn't as far away as you'd think. Now it's 6:07, so I've been rambling on for 45ish minutes. Now it's 6:13 6:15, and I've been writing pretty much every spare minute/second that's come up. So this is quite occupying. I think I'll post this as I go off for my break at 7, and then start on another post afterward. Hopefully someone'll turn up so's I can ask, cos it is quite quiet. I don't know. Perhaps I'll just stay until hometime like a good girl. It's not so busy, and this is passing the time nicely. What do you think, mistress mine? I'll ask you on the phone.

They're doing an incentive today. They've got periods of four hours, and the peeps with the lowest talk time in each period wins a bottle of wine. Mine right now is 28, so I doubt it's gonna be me. I've got until 8o'clock to improve. I'm quite hungry. It's 6:27, and as you can tell, it's been quiet enough the last half an arn. Quieter than the one before it anyway. I'm getting lots of corporate calls right now.

It's warmer today, as well, but then I think everyone is on this floor now. I don't know if we've even got acces to the upper floor, thus I may not be able to call you!!! I don't know!!!!!!! Um, I'll call you from a desk phone though if that's the case, so don't worry. Um. I think I'll post now, and hope you get it.

C

Hellllllooooooooooo.

Bless you, good girl for buying food. Kitten is being cute. I'm not used to seeing her be so quiet, except for the minor disastor with the lamp. Now she's asleep by the radiator.

I'm glad the time is passing so quickly and that it's not too busy.

Now I'll tell you what you can buy. Remember you could buy dragon treats and dragon chew toy and dragon basket from the nice vampire lady? Well the dragon basket comes with a dragon egg in it. It hatches into a dragon!!! The dragon set the garden on fire!!!!!! I took pictures.

But now the dragon is hungry and I don't know what it eats. I'm going to try pet food. I've been looking round the internet for tips but it's a bit new yet so I've not found anything.

Oh, only ten minutes till you phone. Something else happened but I'll tell you over the phone. Not to fret, something nice (I think ).

K

Yay you.

I wouldn't know what a dragon would eat? Can you ask the vampire lady? Will she tell you? DOes it count as part of the family did you say, or is it just an object? Um. Fruit? Vegetibles? Pet food? Did you try pet food?

It's odd. It isn't really busy, but there's enough calls to keep you on your toes. At 7:15, there was a queue of 17. Now, just one or two. I didn't tell you, but I had a res. call on Vode, and the man said I was the most effecient person he'd ever had for a vodafone enqs call. Yay me!!!! So, that was nice.

I miss you and would like to not be here. I am earing shiny pounds, tho'. Shall I see about an early finish? Sharn't I? Hmmm. I'm not sure. I think I'll probably stay, but who can say. See, like giving up, if you leave something long enough,it becomes not worth doing, or the urge passes. I mean, it's already 7:31, so I've done almost half my shift. I think I'll try and keep going. I just hope it won't be too grim waiting for the bus. Still, I've got the walkman, so I should be ok. I'll wrap myself in my scarf and look grim myself.

Another flurry, two minutes of queues at 15, then little. A bit bored, but it's 7:36, so 5 mins have gone in a few lines, I suppose that's good. I'm going to sweep mines for a bit. I will post once some more time has gone, and I don't feel so slow. 7:37.

C

I set the free. I didn't want it to starve to death!

I have big guilt and existential dread. Picture me rocking back and forth whimpering. I may cry in a bit. Or make tea. You are wonderful. way better than me.

I'm going to play sims for a while, I think. It's calming. The wither... thread has picked up again. You should stop along and have a read, it's gotten all productive again. I like to think my absence has helped. Hrumph.

Have fun sweeping, dearly loved.

K

nO GUILT, DREAD OR WHIMPERING. hAVE A NICE SOOTHING BATH, WITH SOOTHING LOTIONS IN IT. Ooops. Have a nice soothing cup of tea, and some nice soothing soup. Have nice soothing thoughts, and a nice soothinmg play of sims. Give the kitten a nice soothing snuggle. It has got rather quiet here. But come eight we'll prob. have a few calls. Normally half an hour or so of madness, and then soothing silence. Some night team are now sitting on my formerly empty pod, opposite me. They are young men. And they talk a lot. SO night time team leader's here. If it's dead dead I might ask to come home. It's the thought of you crying in the future that makes me wanna. Ohh, lover, you'll be alright, hang on in there, and I'll be home come 11:45. I know it seem like forever away, but it's a bit less than the time I've been out. It's 7:57, so I've been out about 4hrs 7mins. And it's 3 hrs 47 mins then til I'll be home. Presuming I'm home at 11:45, which I would say is about average. I'll keep you updated on how long it is at regular intervals, but it'll be 8 now, so I should prepare. My , C

I could have soothing soap instead of soothing soup. In a bath dontcherknow.

I'm not crying love. Honest. The wave of ninginess passed. I've been using my shiny vote on the UG list, which is why it took so long to reply.

And I made another huge coffee with syrup.

Love you, please don't worry about me.

K

Hello again. It is now 8:27, and it has been fairly quiet for about 10 mins. Have been doing a bit of newsreading, but now as it has not picked back up, the eight o'clock flurry is obviously over. So, now 8:29, thus 3hrs and 16mins til I'm home. Not so very long, and my break is also just around the corner, and then we will speak again, and I can soothe you further. How is y'all back at home? How's kitten? And John? And the Sims? Good. I hope you're going to have done something special with them for me? But we can talk about that at break time. Thee's not a hundred things I've got to say. I mean, calls, typing, sweeping mines. what else is there to say. I'm not engaged in any activity which might lead to stimulating debate. You're playing sims, as you should be, and there's only so much simtalk I can take while in work (jealous, see). And also, you're doing that. The cat can't type. Mad Irish woman wanting NEnquirer number! Groovy. Been eons since I read it. This does help to pass the time quickly. It is now *:40. Or 8:40 I've only got to get involved for a couple of minutes, punctuated by calls, and there you have it, nearly ten mins gone. And ten mins can be a lifetime in this job.

I know you already know, but it's the style of typing I have. Oh oh oh! I've just remembered Ballynahinch. Oh!!! It be 8:46, thus it is 2hrs and 59mins til I will be home. Less than three hours, my lovely. SO don't fret. And answer me a little bit, though I'll call at 9:15.

C

I refreshed and refreshed and there was not a message and now there is a message and it says it's been there for half an hour and it lies. So there.

I have to bake sim bread now and maybe a pie. People kept phoning J and he kept having to tell them to go away so you could phone me and now he has to phone them all back. Bye now.

K

Where have you gone? Did it get busy again?

K

No, I did not get busy, but I did not have anything to say. I think it was a bit busier earlier, and when I last refreshed there was no message from you either. I sweep mines, and it passes time very quickly. And I went for a pee as well. Sorry for J and the phoning. I love you, very very very much, and I will not post again this evening, for it is 10:40, and it will be 1hr and 5mins until I am home. And I keep getting telewest calls, tho' not hundreds, cos it's still not v. busy. I love you. And those men are actually quite good company, and funny. Of course, I'm not talking with them, I'm listening to them. And I love you. I am looking forward to getting home, and seeing what you've been doing, and seeing the kitten, and giving her a snuggle, though I'd be surprised to escape with all my eyes.

C

I'm on telewest. Bloody hell. The unremitting redness may drive me batty. Guess who forgot the locker key? Did you guess me? Yes? You were right. Got a spare from a team leader who also checked that you had phoned in for me. Not that I really thought you wouldn't have, but you were a bit vague when I left. Oh there's vivak, haven't seen him around for ages. It's not too busy actually, ans I'm on all switches, fingers crossed that it says that way.

So how are you my pustulous love? Are your protozoa behaving themselves?

Love you babe.

Hello dear. Sorry about the locker key, isn't it a bitch when you forget it. And the telewest, how awful for you. Yes, I called and she tried to put me through to Matt, who wasn't answering, and then she tried like six, eight others afore she got an answer. I spoke to Noel. I think. Odd, I can't quite remember now. Or Lionel? But I think Noel. Nigel? Neal? Oh god. SOmeone I don't really know, but they were very nice and concerned when they asked me what's wrong, and called me lkove, I liked that. Then I chose a book to read, but I just cradled it tenderly whilst I lay under a puile of cooch. It seemed like ages, and the I went to sleep. But the alarm I set woke me up at ten to, but I did not respond. Then John got up, and came in to check the fone, so he turned the light on and woke me, he didn't know I was there. Then he checked his e-mails, so I excreted, then I came on here.

I feel kinda woozy, but not in a dizzy way. And my stomach hurts a bit, and I was very smelly like kitten when I excreted. And I'm quite cold. I was cold in bed, even though you said I was hot. But then I was asleep. The kitten's been very good, cos I didn't put her thing back on, but she hasn't bitten her stitches out. I think she's miserable. I picked her up when I came down, and she does smell a bit nasty. I hope she doesn't throw up again. It had gone all cold when I cleaned it up. Ych a fi.

I don't have anything else to add except I love thee, and how's it going now? And I think I wason telewest as well on my day, but very few calls, so mayhap it's like a lower priority? Overflow.

I love you

C

Silly love you are , woozy and cold is probably because of temperature. If you are no better tomorrow you'll have to go up the doctors and find out if the nastiness is because of the pussiness or the barrage of antibiotics. You should go to bed and get warm. You can come and talk to me later, I'll be fine and happier for knowing that you aren't miserable and uncomfortable.

If you do go to bed tell John I said could he please look in on you every hour or so and see if you want enything and make sure your temperature isn't too high. If he has any questions he can talk to me on here. Kitten will like it if you go to bed and generate heat for her.

My breaks are at 7 and 9-15 and I'll phone you in them. Oh my poor girls. Both ill and I'm not there to look after you. You shall have to look after each other till I get home.

Nono, I am okay. Woozy without dizzy is oddly pleasurable, and people pay lots of money for drugs. I am wearing the red and the dresing gown, and sitting next to the on radiator, and I am at a comfortable tempeature, where normallt I would be sweaty. I don't know where kitten is, and she didn't come up earlier. Ah, she's woth John in't living room. They are watching the SImpsons on bbc2. I am ok. I have just started the latest round of throbbing, but I'm sure it'll pass soon.

When I was in bed, I felt oddly detratched, and very calm. I think i was abit high, and a bit low all at once. It was very relaxing, if a bit strange. I will await your call at 7, and confer with you then.

My protozoa continue well.

Yours

C

Someone just wanted a dentist on Abbey Road. The abbey Road dental practice. Bit busier now.

Has kitten still not got her collar on? Is that entirely wise? Have you got slippers on? If you haven't put some on, or some socks. Someone on the next pod along has a really cute pink bunny ted. less than half an hour till first break. I broke a nail. I love you. you should make yourself a cup of tea, well a drink anyway. You should try to drink plenty. ooh grouchy caller wouldn't believe that I can't credit them. Idiots.

How are you now?

No she hasn't got it on, and it may not be, but if she is going to throw up, then it would have to come off again, and she ahsn't been going at it and John's got her. We shall see, we can talk about it. I'm ok. I've got cola. Um. I had some of my sandwich and my crips. I don't have slippers on, but I'm ok. I will find them, though, cos I'll get colder prob, so I will find them. I'm ok. As are my protozoa. I combed kitten a bit more, but she hates it, and she stuck her claws in me again. Ow. I hope your nail doesn't hurt.

where are you sitting exactly? And I'm glad about the bunny. Yaya for Abbey Road. Yess, less than 15 mins by me. I hope your not horribly busy. I'm here and the time is going faster my end, so I'll trya nd project that for you. I love you. Write again soo, as long as you've time. I'll speak to you soon.

C

I'm sitting exactly where I was when last in. Where poofy's desk is. My nails are fine, just shorter now. Someone nearby just said 'I know what catch 22 is' in such idiotic nasal tones. Wince. no wonder callers think they need to spell simple words to us.

One minute to break. Speak to you soon.

7-16 now

Hello petaly. I am sorry to not have been in contact with you prior to now, bu tI came down and had a moments converse with John about you and my condition, and the sImpsons with Duff gardens and Lisa getting high on the ride water was on. And thenhalf of the one with bigger brothers and Lisa phoning the corey hotline. I love you, and now I am here. Is ppofy in?

Now I know exactly where you are, and therefore how you look. Anyonew elseon your pod? ANd how busy are you? And are you happy? My love.

C

Where be thee?

Look at: F82182?thread=350169&post=4443065#p4443065

Look up answer in 'a woman called John' or 'the trials...' and post reply in the thread for me please.