This is the Message Centre for Diane B

Adoption

Post 1

paperbackriter

Dear Diane 8,
I was fascinated to read your real-life story and I am pleased that you found your natural parents,and wondered if you could help me in my research.I am researching the subject of adoption for the two central characters in my novel,and I would dearly like to know how you set about finding your birth parents.
If you can provide me with any information I would be most grateful-anything I write will,needless to say,be entirely fictional.

Yours Sincerely,
paperbackriter.


Adoption

Post 2

Diane B

Hi I am sorry that i have not got back to you sooner, it is ages since i have been on H2G2.
With regards to finding my natural parents, i felt i was forced into the situation, as at the tender age of 6 my daughter was found to have a heart complaint. She needed surgery asap, to prevent further damage to the her heart. Whe faced with the medical team i was bombared with questions about my own medical histaory and that of my natural parents.....of course i hadn't got a clue. I spoke to my adopted parents and still siad to them that i really did not wish to go down the route of bringing upheaval to everybodys lives, but mum and dad both sadi that i was selfish and i had to think of my daughters future. They also said that noth could eradicate the last 32 years of them being my parents and they would both help me with the research. My husband also was not keen on the idea, as he could see trauma, on top of the trauma we were already facing.
The first thing i did was to apply for my birth certificate, as when you are adopted you only have an adoption certificate. The original birth certificate is far different. Because of my age this meant i was unallowed to obtain this without first under going councelling....of which i thought was rubbish. It never prepared me what so ever for what was to happen. Once i endured months of time wasting talk and chat i was given my birth certificate, there i found my original name, this was changed by my adoptive parents. I also found a small amount of the family tree.....brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles. It was from there that my real search started. I looked up the address of where i originally lived, as i was apoted at the age of 10months. It seemed that a member of my family...2 uncles still lived in the same house all that time later. I could not get the phone number as it was ex directory. I did not want to just go and knock at the door for fear of rejection. I noticed an aunt of mine was already married when i was adopted so i searched the phone books under her married name and came up with about 6 possibles. One of those happened to be an old neighbour with the same surname as my aunt. He said he could remember me very well and was very very upset that i had been up for adoption, and had he have been younger would have taken me in had he have known. He said he knew where my original mother lived and would go and get her as she only lived down the road from himself. The place where i originally lived is a small area and it seemed many people knew everybody.
So that was the start to what became the most unsettling time of my life. It ripped my heart to pieces, and i feel i have been through some very very heart wrenching moments.
I do not get on at all with my natural mother, and i refer to her as my incubater, which seems a very harsh thing to say but you would have to hear the reasons for my actions. On the other hand my natural father is wonderful and he gets along with my mum and dad. When ever he comes to mine he must go to see them both, and once there it is like ....well amazing.
Get back to me if this has helped or you would like to know a little more.
Kindest regards Diane


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