h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been threatening to tell you lot about the anethetist who attended me for last week's little op.

For sure, the guy was, as far as I was concerned well worth a second look(tall, dark, hawk featured and utterly charming as well as having an absolutely wicked sense of humour)

BUT....

he was clever and compassionate, as well.

I may joke about having these damned operations in the nether regions


(I mean, what else can you do?)

but in truth, the aftermath is usually excruciatingly painful - there's a surprisingly large amount of pain in such a relatively small area... eating is a nightmare...I'm usually starving after an op, ( I have to fast,preferably for 24 hours, but in this case, 18, because I got a"cancellation") but I'm almost scared to eat, because eating eventually means evacuation, and it doesn't matter if I eat more fibre filled food than an average monkey house, it still damned well hurts the healing cuts - which in turn, causes me to feel utterly wretched.

After all, it really is an area that very few people would willingly want to kiss or rub better, as it were.

So it's a catch 22, usually.

This time was different.

The bloke actually listened. He took on board that I take MST morphine for "everyday" pain relief.

He realised that pain relief was going to be a bit complicated; one cannot be prescribed stronger pain relief than morphine as far as I know.

And so, after he'd administered the usual GA, he injected, somewhere around the fleshy part of my hips an anesthetic "block", which m eant, once I was in recovery,I really couldn't feel*any* pain at all. From waist to top of legs was completely pain free.

Not numb.

Just pain free.

My first thought, once I'd come round, was "No pain; hell's teeth - I'm awake and they haven't started yet"

I was wrong,of course; they'd had all manner of periscopes and what have yous into me, a good rummage around,and removed a mighty great cyst. Took the best part of an hour, and I'm glad I was out for the count!

Back to the ward; after an hour a certain amount of discomfort made itself felt, so I was given paracetamol intravenously.

Now, as a rule, paracetamol is about as much use to me as an udder on a bull

20 minutes later I honestly felt I could scale Everest. I felt an absolute fraud taking up valuable hospital space.

It strikes me as ironic; obviously this "block" injection is a fairly routine sort of a procedure. I don't know exactly what sort of drug it actually was (although I will find out) and maybe, for some people, it could give all sorts of unwanted side effects, but for me, it was fine.

I felt more than fit enough to leave hospital after 6 hours, and perfectly alert enough to function pretty well. Not 100%, obviously, but pretty well

Why oh *why*could this procedure not have been done for the last 10 or so operations I've had in this area? Recovery time was minimal, (thus freeing up valuable hospital beds)I was almost pain free for the first 96 hours after the operation, so therefore, my spirits were good, which I'm certain made my recovery so much easier.

Eating and basic elimination weren't an issue or an ordeal as they usually are, and once the "block" injection had gradually worn off, I found that the usual every day pain relief was more than enough to make life manageable.

The really *plus* bit was the side effect of having minimal discomfort in the lumber regions for 4 days! It wasn't just my backside that benefitted I can't remember the last time I didn't have pain anywhere in my back, so 4 days pain free was one heck of a novelty!

And I'm not sure if, in a fit of utter terror,just before the op, when asked by Mr Anesthetic could I see him, without my specs, I replied (rather fervently) "No... but I do wish I could" made any difference to the quality of the pain relief or not, either.

But pander to my ego a little, perhaps?

I've never consciously flirted with anyone I don't know well before - not for the simple reasen of stating that I like what I see; I'm really boring that way, as a rule.

But conscioulsy flirt I did, and my last memory before my op was one of the nurses saying "Evadne, you've said exactly the right thing to make his ego unbearable for the next*week*"

I reckon that a week's worth of inflated Male Ego was well worth 96 hours of pain free Cake, meself.

And I'm wondering if it's at all possible, I could have this sort of block administered regularly
- as long as it's not dangerous,obviously -

so that I could be pain free enough to be able to get a job and actually earn money on a regular basis? Without having to pop morphine, so I could actually *think*straight without quite so much effort?

Next time I have a "clear thinking" day, I must ask my GP about that.

Hi Evadne,

Well, what a story, and how wonderful it obviously was for you!

I wish you well in pursuit of this anaesthetist, and your GP. ood luck, and flutter youreyelids at anyone who can help you!!!

Novo

Cheers Novo

Last time I essayed an eye lid flutter I was asked if I had grit in my eye!

I'll just have to practice a bit more, I guess

Oh...and by the way... I'm glad one of us knows how to spell anaesthetist; your way certainly looks a lot better than mine <winkeye

I cannot pronounce it though! , I understand the 's' is silent, like the 'p' in swimming

Novo

Which, oddly enough is where I've been,today - back to the swimming pool, at long last

4 lengths and much creaking of joints later I staggered back home, knackered

I've a lot of catching up to do.

My dad used to say the "p" is silent, as in bath

...but then it was the early '60s when he used to say that, when we had the dubious joys of an outside toilet and an old tin bath in the kitchen so hopefully times have changed a tad since then.

One can but hope, anyway!