h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hey, nice to meet you. im a 3rd year student at cardiff uni and i self harm too, seems kinda common doesnt it? i might be giving up uni soon as i just cant cope anymore. How do u cope witht he way you feel and the way others react? if you want to talk let me know ok. Vicky x

I dont really cope with how i feel - i have this inner anger that is always there, anything little sends me sooo angry and sometimes violent, tho generally to myself. Deep down Im extremly sensitive to what others think of me, for example today i was at dancin class n saw the guy who teaches look at n his face wasnt too happy (i dont no if that scos he was lookin at me or cos of what he was talkin about with sum1 else) but i felt really crap, like that he'd figured i was rubbish at dancin and was makin it look bad cos i look crap too. sum days i can go into town and put on the i dont care what anyone thinks face and just be me n do what i want, usually this is with my bestest friends from home or when i am intoxicated. I often drink to cope in social situations, any time we go to pub or club i feel i have to drink cos then it stops me thinkin bout anything else apart from the music. I think if it wasnt for music i probly wud be dead, i have to have music on almost constantly. I like to get lost in my own world and sumtimes cant control when i just think, it happens and i dont mean it to. At times i think i could live the rest of my life not talkin to or seeing another person, that it wud solve mayn problems.
I have to say i have a massive battle with Self harm and have done for over two years. Since bein at uni its been worse than ever, and if people react badly to it i tend to isolate myself and do it more. Also i have found that if i drink quite abit n then sit n think by myself without music i tend to get more depressed and very violently SH. which is not good at all. Im sorry if this is abit rambled i have major problems with talkin/writin in a constructive manner, my brain jumps from one thing another and i have to keep up otherwise i would never say anything!!
Whats your experience like?
rach xx

hey, im sorry u feel so bad. I started harming when i got to uni 2 years ago . Just couldnt cope with being on my own i guess. Just getting worse as the person who was trying to help raped me. im getting propper help now from a doc and councillor but things still falling apart.
oh well
Vicky x