h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey you. Its been a while. How are you? I could really do with some help. Its getting round to the first anniversary of the due date and suddenly Im finding it really hard again and Im crying alot again too. I don't know really what to think or ask, except that should I be getting upset on both dates, ie the date of termination and the official due date? Or does it get better? Or am I being overly sensitive to it? Everythings been ok for so long I've just been a little thrown by all this. Im not sure quite what's happening there in my head. Sorry. Thanks
Gen x

hi sweetie,

I think it's best that you just go with your feelings - if you feel sad and want to cry, then do it. I still cry every November 11th.

But crying doesn't mean you're not doing okay - it only means you acknowledge the loss.

Do things get better? Define 'better'. On the other hand, the feeling of loss does get less. One has to realize that a decision was taken and then one has to live with it. Once the decision has been made, once the deed has been done, it really doesn't do any good at all to keep wishing it might have been otherwise.

So yes, I do still grieve for my lost child. But not to the extent that it affects my life now. It's more now like a bit of sadness that sometimes follows me around.

Honey, you did the best thing for yourself at the time - you did! And emotions aside, you have to believe that and just get on with the rest of your life. And anyhow, any or all doubts you are feeling now doesn't change a thing. It happened, it's all done and over with. And you are okay. So take things from there.

You have your whole life ahead of you and there really is no point in beating yourself up about a difficult decision you once had to make. It is a past thing. But you are a present thing. You know?

Emotions come and go. No need to latch onto unpleasant ones. No need to feel guilt or undue remorse. Just focus on your present and your future. That is really the best advice I can give you - it's the same advice I give myself.



az

Also, if you ever want to chat you can check on my hootoo Yahoo email thingy - azaharh2g2(AT)yahoo(DOT)com. I often appear online when I'm not - it's just because I tend to leave the computer on all day. But you could check that option out if you want to.

Take care,

az