h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

so, for about twenty-four hours I was searching for a recipe, a recipe from ancient times when first I lived alone. What I remembered of the recipe was that it involved chicken livers and madeira and my sometimes photographic memory still held the picture of the finished project.

I searched the internet and everything seemed to contain milk, which did not seem right.

I searched the indexes of Gourmet Magazine from October of 1986 to sometime in 1997.

I searched the Harrowsmith Cookbook, given to me for Christmas by the parents of a friend in 1987.

I searched the Best of Gourmet Cookbook 1990.

I searched the new Gourmet Cookbook that came out a few years ago although I new I'd not originally seen it there as there are no pictures and it is far too recent.


Finally, far down on a bottom shelf in a stack of food processor (which I threw out long ago) cookbooks, ice cream recipes, and copies of the Alberta Public Health Act I found an incomplete set of cheap recipe books that gas stations gave away in the 80's.

There, in the Poultry & Game volume of 'A Permanent Collection of the World's Best Recipes (Including Sauces and Stuffing Recipes) (copyright 1988 Round the World Books, Inc.)* was the goal of my quest:


Chicken Livers in Madeira (Sikotakia tis kottas me saltsa)

to paraphrase:

saute about a pound of chicken livers in some butter. Take 'em out and make a roux with the butter, add about a cup of chicken broth. When it thickens add half an onion finely choped, a crushed garlic clove, some parsley and salt and pepper. Simmer for a bit. Add a third of a cup of Madeira to the pan and about half a cup to the cook. Simmer for a bit. Put the livers back in the pan and cook until heated through. Taste and fall down having found oneself all at once transported to Nirvana, Shambala, and that cool Maxfield Parish-backgrounded place that Xena and Gabrielle went to in the Xena: Warrior Princess Episode titled 'Paradise Found'(http://www.whoosh.org/epguide/paradise.html).




If you need iron supplements, put them away and head down to the market for some chicken livers and Madeira! If you like life, put it away and head down to the market for some chicken livers and Madeira! But, whatever you do, don't put the best recipe you will ever know on the bottom shelf in a stack of food processor (which you threw out long ago) cookbooks, ice cream recipes, and copies of the Alberta Public Health Act


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* the paraphrase of a recipe contained in this post is (I think) consistent with fair use provisions of international copyright law: the paraphrase is included as part of a (very positive) review of the work in question.

Now. After all that work carefully crafting the post, I have one small thing to add.



I can't help but wonder about the significance of the phone number scrawled at the top of the recipe: 4??-4751. I've done a reverse lookup on the local service provider, but it gave me a name I don't recognize in a part of town I was unlikely to be connected to in the late-80's.


Ah, sweet mystery of life . . .

Was there no caution to avoid driving after consuming the wine?

The actual recipe did not prescribe the half cup of Madeira for the cook. That was my addition to the paraphrase.

Ahh, I'm sure to assess the quality of the ingredients in the interest of producing a dish of the best quality...

Chicken Livers Madeira!

Oh, the memories --

I cooked that one years ago, and iirc, the milk was never really part of the recipe, but only used as a soaking solution if the livers were a bit too pungent, same as for beef liver. A good cold water rinse usually suffices these days.

There's a similar recipe for Chicken Liver pate

Dagnabit, now I'm craving chicken livers!

Also it's nearly 8 pm here, the stores are all closed, are miles away, and the roads are icy

free range organic livers from the Old Strathcona Farmers' Market http://www.osfm.ca/ (actually, from Sunworks Farm http://www.sunworksfarm.com/) for me.

Of all things, adherence to the Farmers' Market makes one actually plan ahead. Saturday and no other is the day to get certain items. No instant gratification (unless one buys livers every week)


As for icy conditions:

-8,000,000 this afternoon and I decide to drive across town to take advantage of the 14 day guarantee on a $2.00 tropical fish that tragically succumbed to the stresses of relocation. And people wonder how we get around in the winter, never mind why we do.

You would have done better, perhaps, to have searched for a recipe

Right. Carefully clean and fillet a 1 gram algae eater. Saute it in a half gram of butter, a single onion cell and a garlic mitochondria . . .

.. serve on pre-heated petri dish