h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have posted to other thread. Thanks again.
Here's some lem sip and a hot water bottle. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
Take care
boots
PS go easy on the lem sip only four in twenty four hours!

Oh, bless you, thanks.

Stuck in work and can't afford to take time off or I'd be in bed. Next two days should be fairly yucky, but I'll dose myself to the eyeballs and sniffle at the callers.

Don't feel that you should re-write anything because you've had comments on it. When I get comments on my stuff from uni I usually put the piece of writing and the comments away for a good long while to digest. Sometimes I don't rewrite at all, just try to learn from what I've been told.

Have fun with it, I'm looking forward to this weeks post!

Sound advice. Blow some germs down the phone!
Take care
boots

Good morrow Boots.

Wrapped up the last of the specific comments of the WW set. Still have some rather general comments, no so much related to that set...

I don't think you're easily offended so I'm going to be completely honest.

You're writing from life, using situations and people that you know. The narrator's voice is close to your own voice. On the whole you do incredibly well at this. It's not autobiography, I'd have to be a fool to think it was. It's a very clever use of real life. Exaggerated, writ large, pruned to fit the shape of the story you're telling.

But, once in a while, the narrator's voice does slip into your voice. I can give you examples of places that I think this has happened if you want. I don't think it's a good idea to let that happen. It disrupts the prose and is a literary 'bad habit'. If you find that you want to express a sentiment that is out of character for your narrator it is better to find another narrator who can say it; expand the narrator's character so that it IS in keeping or resign yourself to leaving it out.

I hasten to reassure that it isn't something you do terribly often. Have I been too blunt? Excessive honesty is a bad habit of mine.