h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The way to a man's heart *is* through his stomach. Or ribcage.

I have been given my orders by the wife who says we are now NOT moving until I leave the Service. So, unless Phony Tony has more war plans that may just be the case and I am cool with that.

Moves are afoot for more peacekeepers in Afghanistan, but these will be regulars and certainly won't be our lot again.

I expect that you know already that the missus ALWAYS outranks by atleast one level. And so, when the law is laid down, ...

Our own folks can't decide what they are doing. One minute, reduce the contribution of personnel, the next, double it. Meanwhile, our actual person-count shrinks year by year.

Maybe we ought to form up a squad of politicians and send them in? With the double and triple talk always going, anyone unpleasant would simply have to surrender. I mean, when you lose all energy and co-ordination, laughing yourself silly ...

What a squad that would be.

They'll need a leader, of course...

I'm sure there are any number of ineffectual folks more than willing to lead, ... from a few thousand miles away.

I can think of at least one Tom Clancy candidate.

Good to speak with you yesterday. The wife downloaded a new version of Messenger that seems to be having some issues with my Norton firewall, so I was not able to get on that. I'll try again later with the magic threatening screwdriver I keep in the PC spares draw.

How's life across the pond today?

The curse of Norton again, eh? There have been a lot of issues with the intrusiveness of Norton products this last 2 or 3 years, even if you try to install the bare, manual necessities.

I use ZoneAlarm as a firewall, which has adware and virus protections of it's own. As well as AVG, a free and highly rated anti-virus package.

Over here, once I dusted the half-inch of snow off of the car, I had some frost to scrape. The -6 C made my poor 1986 car seem a bit tired on starting.

-6!!!

Holy stuff!

That's chilly.

I did hear zone alarm was very good. AVG was fine (we were using version 6, I think...) until one virus got through and proceeded to eliminate the old HDD. After much deliberation we opted for Norton (twitchy though it is). We now have a dual system with Norton Ghost and manual backups.

I know others who have used AVG and had no problems at all. Crazy!

-6!!!!!

ZoneAlarm recently let a trojan-caller slip through. So that's when I added the current flavour of AVG. So far, so good.

I also bought DriveImage some time ago for weekly archiving of everything useful. I understand it no longer exists, having been bought up and then discontinued by Symantec. (Read as Norton Ghost) That IS the way of software these days, ... buy the competitor, and then kill the product.

And hey, -6 is just the leading taste of what's yet to come. This is the mildest region of Canada that I have ever lived in, yet it will hit -20 several times through the season.

As we live on barracks and have very little say in the house layout we get, we have had to adapt to a property that has no central heating in our bedroom. I dunno why. Just one of those things.

Still we are grateful for the rest of the heating, as our place in Belfast had one gas fire that was random to say the least...

Where do you live? Winnipeg!!!!!???

Just kidding...

I did live 3-hours-drive north of Winnipeg for 3 years. That's where I met the missus. The nights became less cold that year.

No, I am now living in Trenton, about half-way between Toronto and Ottawa, along the main highway corridor. It also happens to be Canada's transport air base.

Right, mate, back to the grind for me. We are on exercise tomorrow, so lots of prep to be done.

Talk later, mon ami!

Do have a challenging and yet good time of it. And hopefully, some good stories to bring back.

Check your emails later, Nick. There will be a huge surprise waiting for you.

Lottery tickets on standby...

Once upon a time (well, April 21st 2005 actually) Indiana Jack wrote to his good friend Evadne on how his ex had left him alone and unloved because he was away doing a man's job:

"Had to do a Job in Africa. She over heard half the story and made up the rest. was part of a rescue team for the Red Cross, getting children from the Rwanda Genocides to safety in Kenya. Meant going incountry to get them out. She became convinced it was mercenary work and we were taking sides. Packed up, left, called me when she was on the train home to Southampton. Never saw her again."

Voice of Reason: Indiana Jack, I am not trying to be funny, but what are you talking about? Firstly, the Red Cross don’t have rescue teams. Secondly, let’s suppose that British Forces were (contrary to all records, facts and logic) in Rwanda at the time and helped out the Red Cross.
The Red Cross offer impartial humanitarian aid and have nothing to do with ANY side in war. They serve no political agenda and that’s how they are able to operate as neither side sees them as a threat.

Indiana Jack: No! You lie! It’s another lie! Everybody, the Voice of Reason is lying to you!!!!!

Voice of Reason: Er, ok...you could check wikipedia or google about the tenets of the Red Cross and Red Crescent. There was a large Canadian Red Cross contingent in Rwanda at that time, so I am sure you could check with those guys. Oh, and where did you take these kids?

Indiana Jack: Kenya.

Voice of Reason: Was this while you were Captain of the African Queen?

Indiana Jack: What?? What do you mean, dog liar?

Voice of Reason: Well, it’s just that from what I know of Rwanda (There was a bloke who did a talk for us at Brecon on CQB techniques used in Africa. He was an ex-Para who went to Rwanda as a mercenary working for the Tutsis and getting them to safety in Burundi. He also took part in the Burundi coup to hack off the displaced Hutu militia who were bilking the Red Cross for supplies) the vast majority of refugees went out on foot to Burundi or what used to be Zaire. None went to Kenya as the only "border" that Rwanda shares with Kenya is the huge Lake Victoria. It’s over 100 miles to Kenya across this great expanse, and this area was Hutu controlled during the 100 days of genocide. So after fighting your way through Hutu lines with a child under each arm, you were faced with a bit of water before your safe haven in Kenya.
These refugee kids...very strong swimmers were they?

Indiana Jack: How dare you insult those kids and make light of the Rwandan genocide. Which I witnessed first hand, you know!!

Voice of Reason: Actually, Indiana Jack, I am making light of your ridiculous and factually bereft claims and the sad revelation that you have once again used a military facade as a springboard for some form of acclaim. You must be very, very unhappy with your life to want to make this stuff up.

Indiana Jack: Liar! Liar! You have somehow stolen my time machine and gone back in time to change the past and make me look like a lying, ill-informed buffoon who tells tales to feel loved and respected in order to take his mind of his lonely and worthless existence. Boo hoo.

Fair Maiden: Oh, not you again. Why don’t you lay off poor war weary Indiana Jack. He HAS served in the military. All branches. He showed me his special badge given to him by the super secret SBS/SAS/MI6 unit set up after he foiled the Giant Space Monkey invasion of 1971. He even showed me his secret decoder ring given to him by the Justice League of America. Well, he actually never showed me, but he has told me about them and he never ever lies. So there.

Voice of Reason: Indiana Jack, what have you told this woman…?

Indiana Jack: (sensing impending exposure) I am getting a call on my hotline. Quick! To the Liemobile...

A very fine episode, Master Story Teller. Nearly as good as Indianna Jack himself.

Are you sure that you too are not he? He IS such a versatile hero that he can be several persons at once, even in the same conversation.

Well, I must admit to not being him as I am half the man he is.

This is of course going by his *reported* girth and his *imagined* height (somewhere around Goliath standards). Oh and his other identity on these threads.

His other identity, eh? It has made me wonder if he is also a quick change artist? Out of the ninja/combat gear, and into the bra and respectable lady's business suit, between posts? Amazing.

I was always puzzled why he thought I was a woman. I figured maybe he had hacked some poor lady off so bad she wanted to nail him good with his own BS and he thought I was that woman come calling...

Or maybe he just wants me to be a woman in uniform just like his alter-ego Meter Maid.

Quite sad really. A man in his 40's with a delusional lifestyle pretending he is a young lady in a traffic warden outfit.

That's ringing my alarm bells, I can tell you...

In all, it is a pathetic case. And if so many friends hadn't called at once with wonder, worry and concern, I'd have paid no attention. Perhaps this person will now be content with the acolyte(s) he/she has. And not be a concern to others?

Simply, as much as I'd like to put this whole episode behind me, (as my friend has), I'm afraid it will continue to need watching. Because like many other blights, it may resurface and spread yet again...

Well, your clear posting to Meter Maid (cough...cough...) on the timeline with regard to our Knight posting his phone number in the conversation seems to have gone beyond his simple little mind. Remember, in his world, this was never an ivite to call...oh no...

As we have both commented on...he's really not too bright is he?