h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hi hasselfree,

It's me, azahar.

bloody, blast and damn! Just spent half an hour writing you a personal hello and stuff - and then ol'Betsy (my dinosaur of a computer) went 'uhh?' - and wiped the whole thing out.

Grrrrrrrr.

So, where was I? I mostly wanted to say a personal hello to you and say how much I have enjoyed bantering with you about all this God - fact or fiction stuff. I find your comments very down-to-earth, very refreshing and also quite enlightening.

I also read with much interest about your near death experience. I have not ever had a near death experience. But I have had moments when I had to go 'someplace else' to avoid my reality.

As a very small child I had things happen to me that were basically insupportable - so I created another reality to escape into while these very bad things were happening to my body. In this sense, yes, I did actually 'go somewhere else'. And years and years later - and yes, after much therapy - I realized that I really and truly had been 'someplace else' - a place I have yet to find an explanation for.

Back then, when I was in therapy about all this, I did tons of reading and found out that many other people had the same 'out of body' experiences that I'd had. And most of these people had been very small children at the time - say about five years old, give or take. With some distance I have been able to see this as - wow - quite an amazing survival technique that very young people feel is at their disposal - to just 'go off' someplace else. For example, it wasn't mysterious for me at the time, rather it was just a very basic need. It's like a connection that small people feel they have access to perhaps because they aren't too bogged down yet with what they 'cannot' do.

Anyhow, that helped to save me. But it also left me with residual weirdness about never being sure what is 'real' or not. Hence I often have quite serious panic attacks, whilst out walking around in the streets pretending to be normal , where I suddenly feel like my 'reality' is totally dissolving - and that scares the bejesus outta me, let me tell you.

It's almost like I am living in two worlds at once, and to be honest, I'd rather just be in one place since having to deal with two or more realities is a bit more than I can deal with most of the time.

The other thing that saves me, I think, is my sense of humour. That and my cats. When things get too much for me I hug my cats. My little angels with fur. And they let me hug them and tell them all my problems and then they go - 'hey, where's the cat food?' - which totally puts me and my problems into perspective and makes me laugh.

Bless their furry little hearts!

The concept of god is something that has always puzzled me, given that my upbringing was kind of helter-skelter Roman Catholic. I got enough of the fear of hell stuff, but not really enough of the love stuff.

But I do have my own personal god. As you may have noticed, I have recently decided to call it Fred in the conversations. You also may have noticed that I tend to piss quite a few people off in the conversations - but truly I don't do this on purpose. You have a much softer way about you, that I wish I could emulate, but I guess you and I just have quite different personalities. Anyhow, although it is never my intention to piss anybody off, this tends to happen.

I'm very happy that - at least so far - I have never pissed you off.

But in fact, I think you also get my humour, warped though it sometimes is.

Anyhow, this is my personal hello to you. I think the last one that got wiped out was much better than this one. Oh well . . .

see you back in the never-ending debate . . .

love,
azahar

(my name means orange blossom in Spanish)

Sorry for latish reply, fell into a 'coma' whilst reading a book.
Another set of worlds to disappear into .
Yes I've done that escape from the body thing as a defence mechanism.
Some times pyschologists think that to get behind a defence mechanism is a good thing and perhaps it is when a body spends too much time there or is trapped behind a wall. but on the whole some of us have experiences which mean the 'wall' is our only way of preserving ourselves.
There's a link on the top of my page which takes you to another one of my abandoned pages. Half way down that page is a psychological profile of a Near death experiencer, have you read it?
Does it ring any bells with you?
I've had an interesting time being something that is slightly different to the pack, but I'm learning that how I am is Ok if *I* Am comfortable with it and blow the rest of humanity if they don't like it. I can be my own best friend.
Or real freinds are those who value you for what you are and not for what you are not.
With me it's dogs!
Suddenly this weekend I have three!
A tiny Basenji called Lacey has joined us, Her 'mum' died and then her new owner, the son, has to go to play war in the Gulf.
Animals are not judgemental, that is way we like them so much.
I try to take that non judgemental thing on board, but it isn't easy, sometimes I slip into self opinionated claptrap same as everybody else. Especially when my opinions based on real experience feel threatened.
I suspect that I am older than you, and therefore have had more time to come to terms with who I really am.
If you can 'visit' the other place, then consider it to be a gift, one that you can come to terms with. when I go to the other place I bring back my stories and write them down. I'm certain that this is what writers , composers and artists do.
Love Annie
[email protected]

you're older than me?

almost nobody is older than me!

I'm almost 46 1/4!

thanks for your reply, I have a class coming very soon so I shall re-read it more carefully later on.

love,
shawn

email: [email protected]

50 !!

okay, okay . . . you win!

but I made a mistake in calculating the other day - I AM in fact 46 1/4 now, not almost! So there!

Still a young thing then

buenas dias!

raindog asked me to explain to you that he was being ironic in his last posting - he thinks 'the boys' have been behaving very badly.

ok, time for a kickstart . . .

also, I hope you understood yesterday that I wasn't referring to YOU attacking me! perish the thought!

sometimes I think I should come back under a new nickname and pretend I am a man, just to see . . .



anyhow, I am still without caffeine so here I go . ..

Ho hum a new day and I'm down the first cup of .
Men behaving badly, same as it ever was.
I've just read a line from the Matrix, where Neo says he always thought Trinity was a man, due to her capabilities with a computer
"Jesus." He says "I thought you were a man."
"Men always do. " she answers cryptically.
I'm loving this site which shows other cryptic messages within the film, some even I've missed after multi watching.
A question asked of the polishy brother directers was. "Are the references to Bhuddism and christianity in the film there on purpsoe and they said "yes."
So I suppose that watching the film, is abit like watching life. Sometimes you don't see everything even if it is under your nose.
and others seeing 'things' say it's coincidence, so it's nice to have the 'creators' of the film owning up.

The brothers explain, "There's something uniquely interesting about Buddhism and mathematics, particularly about quantum physics, and where they meet. That has fascinated us for a long time" (Wachowski chat). In the Time interview with Richard Corliss (see note 8), Larry Wachowski adds that they became fascinated "by the idea that math and theology are almost the same. They begin with a supposition you can derive a whole host of laws or rules from. And when you take all of them to the infinity point, you wind up at the same place: these unanswerable mysteries really become about personal perception. Neo's journey is affected by all these rules, all these people trying to tell him what the truth is. He doesn't accept anything until he gets to his own end point, his own rebirth." The film’s presentation of the Matrix as a corporate network of human conceptions (or samsara) which are translated into software codes that reinforce one another illustrates this close relationship.

Have you read Life of Pi by Yann Martel? If not - you really should! It's pure joy to read. On the back cover it is said to be a novel of such rare and wondrous storytelling that it may make you believe in God.

I'm sure you would love it.

I've picked that bnook up lots of times and put it down again.
Having written my 400 page novel I'm ABSOLUTELY terrifeid of picking up a book and finding it's got a similar plot , so that I have to answer a charge of plagerism (or as i like to call 'sampling' )
Stupid I know, but when you've struggled to do a thing all your life, there's a temptation to become unreasonably protective.
I shall go and buy a copy. Tiger in boat on front?
And if it turns out to be so similar to mine...well I'll jump in the lake

Hey, don't jump in the lake! But if you do buy the book, try not to read all the blurby bits about it (or if you read them before, try to forget them). I found they gave stuff away I would rather have not been left expecting.

It's been a long time since I've read something soooooo beautifully written, intelligent, spiritual, etc etc etc. And it sounds like I'll have to wait till your book is published before I get another chance

Good luck!

sorry, I just couldn't help that last posting - the devil made me do it!

Thats alright then
The devils just told me not to bother cooking supper to night, so I've put a notice on the fridge to that effect or is that affect?
Never get those two right. Like bought and brought.
Will purchase book tomorrow and another a friend advised another called 'Less' but forgot author.
Names names. I'm terrible with names.
Hoovooloo makes T look very kind and understanding BTW.
Away for the weekend

funny girl!

have a great weekend.

love,
me

DANG!!!

Just home from the cinema (Bowling for Columbine is wonderful!) and was all ready to settle down on the sofa with some popcorn, a glass of rioja and your novel. Started printing it out and after half a page I RAN OUT OF INK! So now I have to wait until Monday, since nothing is open here on Sundays (I can't read stuff like that on the computer screen, and anyhow I'd probably spill rioja all over the keyboard or something).

Darn, darn, and double darn.

It sounds like you read that book On Writing by stephen King too. Hey, did I ever tell you that I wrote a novel about five years ago? It's totally crap but I enjoyed doing it.

Now I just write long rambling emails and postings to h2g2.

un abrazo,
azahar

Just came across this great quote:

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

- Oscar Wilde

Now, WHO do you think I might be referring to???

Awhile back I posted that I didn't have any enemies - wrong again! What I should have said was that I am not an enemy to anyone (which IS true) as one cannot help if others choose to become your enemy and often one doesn't even KNOW someone is your enemy.

ho hum. la de da.

Boy, I hate Sundays!

hellooooooo! where aaaaaaaare youuuuuu???

hope all is well,
az