h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

University of Sloth here, are you qualified?

I have an advanced degree in Indolence & Idleness from the University of Prevarication,(currently closed for repairs) where I also studied equivocation. Didn't do too well in Sun Worshipping due to a habit of nodding off in the shade. Am presently trying to refine the art of true slothfulness, but I am still breathing through both nostrils.

I could work on it, but that would seem to defeat the purpose. Any tips?

Doddo, you're a greenhorn. I once spent a month in an iron lung from sheer indolence. I don't even chew my own food. I'd hire someone to do it for me, but I'm too lazy to even do that. I was going to think of a way to get up off the floor, but just the thought of thought is too much for me. I'm not even the author of this reply. I got a kid from down the lane to do it for me. (He's a nifty little typist too...not that I've ever bothered to look at any of this)

I'd doff my hat to a true master, but it's a bit weighty. I'd get one of them iron lung thingies too, but the cigarette smoke would corrode it. I'll just have to remain an off hand greenhorn.