h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, so I got the inspiration for my very first Guide article in the spirit of the holiday season. My family is Polish, and we practice the bizarre Oplatek ritual. It has never failed to make me gag, and I doubt that I will ever really understand why we do it. (so I made up a few deeper "psychological" reasons. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.) However, ever since my younger cousin was old enough to talk, he took great satisfaction in managing to get rid of his entire stinking wafer before he had gotten around to everyone, thus creating the game. The only way to really lose this game is to have any large amount of your wafer left after you've seen everybody. This is a loss on the sole basis that you then have to eat the blasted thing yourself, and these wafers really do taste like styrofoam. In fact, if packing peanuts were legitimately non-toxic, I'm positve that they would be a preferred food-stuff, as they at least come in amusing shapes. (And after all, Cheeto Puffs, essentially polystyrene themselves, sell by the truck loads here in America.)