h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks for your kind words on my piece on HMUs. The thought that something that came out of my head caused another person on the other side of the world to start their day with a smile is an awsome thought. Thanks again for the feedback.

Graham Spence

PS to the above. I have another piece here called " Butlins, Conception and Pleated Skirts" in a similar style. If you liked HMU, you may also have a smile at this.

GS

...downward social mobility from this point would have been virtually impossible...
i grew up in the west australian equivalent: Armadale, fortunately, by the time that George Harrison died i had relocated to Fremantle, which is (supposedly) about as cosmopolitan as it gets here...
but, as george would say, all things must pass

congratulations - another great article which i will certainly head off to praise in peer review
i wonder if you are into irvine welsh
in the event that that is indeed a STUPID question to ask, then wasn't glue great? i recently got around to reading it, and needless to say, my internal monologue hasn't sounded this scottish since i read trainspotting
(or as coarse since i found a copy of filth at the bustop)

the things i liked best about your article are pretty similar to my favourite bits from HMU
i've not been to butlin's, but because you've managed to give a regional subject a universal appeal (the rules of war, your folk's knee-trembler, and the enduring childhood memories that still induce cringing) it's suddenly beside the point
you've got a really easy style, very relaxed and very open, and often condusive to loud gaffaws - if i spill anymore tea on this keyboard my housemate will have me.. having said this of course, i know i'd enjoy reading some more of your work

i've just submitted my first article (ever) to the writer's workshop (How to make the most of being Unemployed), and would appreciate some feedback. it feels a bit raw and unfinished, but i find the process is always more rewarding than the final product, and i had a lot of fun writing it.

again, best of luck in peer review, for both of your articles
cheers, sali

Yes, I do like Irvine Welsh. The only problem is that most of it is not fiction, and I end up reading about the some people I grew up with in Leith: I know a lot of the folk that the book is based on. Having said that, most Leith hard men think the books are based on them, so who can tell. I will have a read of your piece and get back to you,

Graham.

I have had a read of your article, and it is well written, contains good observational material and keeps the interest from start to finish. I have a couple of suggestions for you that I will jot down later, but they are just some general observations that it took me years to work out, so if I can save you the hassle of that I will do.

I could also be talking complete bollocks.

I noticed that most succesful communication has a similar structure, whether that be music, comedy, presentations or even political speeches. Most display a stucture of triplets or quadruplets. Think of Beethovens 5th, you know, the one that goes Dah Dah Dah Dum. Or Reggae (Dah Dah Deeh Dah) or a waltz Dah Deh Deh, Dah Deh Deh. Think of any seminar you have attended, and they tell you what they are going to tell you, they tell you, then they tell you what they told you. In most jokes, the punchline is the third part of the tale, and although the nationalities change, it is in essence always an Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman.

You often do this naturally, and when you do, your writing is lyrical.

"Sounds like paradise, the only real drawback being the giving up 2-3 of the five food groups and existing on packet noodles and porridge."

by slight alteration....

"Whilst this may sound like paradise, 1
there is the drawback of giving up 2-3 of the five food groups 2
and living on porridge, lentil soup and Mr Kwoks Savoury Chcken Noodles" 3
...............1............2 .....................3

As an excersise, try writing down beethovens 5th in dah dah dah dum tableature, and see how far this structure goes in the piece. You will find it interesting just how far he takes the short short short long pattern. There is some other stuff too, to do with paradox, incongruity and Zebras, but that will have to wait for later.

PS

Now count the triplets and quadruplets in this post.