h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

WHAT has happened to the England rugby team?! They're playin' like a bunch of Welshmen.

I had been very careful tactfully not to mention the six nations to you, Snails, but now there's no need. We are, after all, in pretty much the same boat - and it's sinking. Mind you, I do like watching the French play rugby with that flair, that élan.

Let's have a small, sad silent weep together

Jab

"I do like watching the French play rugby with that flair, that élan."

Actually, we were sort of, well, cheering the French on. That's probably what cost you your game. Sorry about that...

Getting your big mates to sort us out, eh? I've been keeping quiet about this, but now - remind me - what was the score at Twickenham?

Jab

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/international/4800780.stm

It was a very poor performance but we was ill

Good news - coded message for Andy Robinson (thicko incarnate - just look at him !) to b****r off. I thought he'd chosen a defensive, unimaginative team just for the All-Blacks, but he didn't change it!

Jab

Sorry I didn't reply earlier to this.

We had big problems in the Welsh team, too. As you may know, we lost our coach (and he was a really good coach) partway through, and most of our star players managed to seriously injure themselves in various ways, so we had something of an inexperienced team this year. Otherwise, we would of course have won the Grand Slam like we did last year.

Anyway, good luck for this afternoon.


(Did I mention we got the Grand Slam last year?)

Let me see know...am I right...did you win the Grand Slam last year?

Good luck against France - you never know, they could have one of their flakey days. They weren't wonderful against England, it's just that England were SO bad.

Jab

Funny you should mention the Grand Slam: we actually did win it last year.

We're holding up well against France so far, but I hardly dare look.

Wales and England - both the better teams

That last try by Ireland was a real nail-biter. I wasn't sure who to cheer for. Normally, I'd support my fellow Celts, but talking to you seems to be causing me some ontological uncertainty.

Talking to me often causes all kinds of uncertainty

Jab