h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Al you sexy beast...have you seen what that witch Magster has been saying?...jealousy will get her nowhere

Am on the lash at the moment so excuse the sh*t I come out with (nothing odd there on both!) Easter is so boring. I am on an enforced staying in phase at the mo becasue of the twot I make of myself when I go out last episode consisted of a fire extinguisher and a v.wet loulou!

This is some fine "absolut" ... on offer in safeway for just £10.99, what a bargain! I also found some v.respectable merlot in S.field on a nifty B1G1F oh the joy...liver transplants all round!

Are you anyone else? I'm confused! I think the 5live msg boards now consist of me and the "is this" lot...no-one else...what a con??!! I think I'll alert a noddy! Eva Braun that bushw**ked called me, and bonkers??..oh you just wait...he WILL be sorry!

Aaahh such is life...I must tell you (I'm in an excitable mood) I've got a job, a proper one at that! Laboratory Technician at my daughter's school...how cool is that?! All those hols...paid...worthwhile pension... 8-4,mon-frimore money than I've ever earned before

No luck on the geegees today, had a nifty double on horses with my parents' names but no, nothing. Another lucky £1 double on another with my college buddies names...1 romped home ..the other a mule ...that is the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Maybe not

Have you been to Droitwich yet, I passed through the other day and though of you...oh but those taxi driving days are almost over..terminal 3 goodbye!...not safe just now anyway (SARS!) bring on the test tubes

I think that's it......oh no here's another which may make it to 5live...almost bought my son's 1st car (trusty fiesta) nine hundred and bas***d seventy five quid insurance in his name...£525 in Mr loulou's ....ridiculous, it's only costing £500 to buy! It is quite nice mind you, oh god... where has my life gone, my 6 foot son is buying a car................

Somebody stop me!.... I'm blabbering on (again!)..will speak to you soon friend...lovely Easter to you and yours...are you eating turkey tomorrow? I have a "saddle" to cremate (joke I'm a top chef!) am spending tomorrow cooking and training my border collie to jump over hurdles and run through tunnels (and eating obscene amounts of choc.)??! Oh the country life for me!

Bonkers...moi??!!!

Adios

Love Lou

Hi Lou,

Eleven quid for a bottle of Absolut? That's bloody expensive isn't it? You should have bought Safeway's own brand - for that price you could have bought a three-litre bottle and next week would have been serene and lovely, though a little sweaty perhaps.

Have hardly touched the MBs in the last couple of weeks because FLN has died on its a@se and FLN consists of endless posts about the war. TS is quite good fun from time to time. Not impersonating anyone at present but when I do I abuse Simon Tucker.

I refuse to give any tips on horses because I have done my a@se on waddling donkeys at Aintree and Cheltenham recently. I won 30 notes on an each-wayer that came third but apart from that I have come to realise that betting is a bagosh1te, as they say.

Congrats on the new job. Does that mean you will have unlimited access to ethanol and LSD? If so, you're sorted, babe!