h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Terri! I just want to know how you're doing these days! I see you're around here a lot more, which I think is good!

Hi Willem

At last we've caught up with each other, I have had massive problems with my internet connection, hopefully sorted now (?), but for some reason, it still doesn't seem too clever at emails & for some even more inexplicable reason, Sundays are the worst of all, which is the best day for you!; frustrating!

So, what have you been up to?

Terri.

I'm actually starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel!

I mean, I'm getting into more social stuff, my painting is going well, my plant collection also. I've been playing with a little kid a couple of days back and the kid enjoyed it so much he burst out screaming and crying when his mom took him back home! So I'm getting some practice for playing with my sister's kid who's going to be born this November or December. I wish I could someday have a kid of my own ...

Wonderful that you're feeling more hopeful, it is so difficult to remember this DOES happen when you're in the middle of the horrors isn't it?

Good about the painting, what sort of stuff are you doing? Mine has been a bit neglected recently, so many other things going on, but lately got a burst of activity, someone wants me to exhibit cheese-boxes; but I'm a bit wary, not sure I am ready for this really for lots of reasons.

Yes, playing with kids can be great fun BUT as auntie/uncle figures, we tend to get all the good bits, then they get handed back to mum & dad, who have to do all the boring stuff like discipline, so we come out as the "good fairy" in the kids mind!

I bet you WILL have kids one day, I feel you'd make a great parent. First though, got to find the right lady! So, does the improved social life include any prospects on this score?

(nosy Terri, dying to tell Willem about her Someone Special!)

zdt

Hi! Nice to be able to talk with you a bit.

Painting, well, stuff that's guaranteed to sell. Portraits of people. People in town know of me by now, so they come and ask me to do portraits of them or loved ones of theirs. Right now I'm busy with watercolour caricatures of children from a local high school. It's great practice. I'm getting terribly underpaid for it but it's a nice thing to do.

If I have some time I'm going to do paintings of plants. I want to build me a website featuring 'my' plants, and for that I need excellent graphics.

You can tell my painting is rather 'utilitarian' ... but that doesn't mean it's not creative! Within the constraints of what is expected of me, I try to be as creative as possible.

Well I hope you also get time to take care of the artistic creative stuff!

I would still be happy if I had more latitude for more experimental and 'artistic' sort of stuff, I'll just have to work that in from time to time as I can. I'm going to think about how I can 'jazz up' my plant paintings, because plants for me are very spiritual, there are lots of weird and wonderful connotations. For me plant cultivation is not just about nature conservation, it's a whole lot more, it's part of a kind of mystic vision I have of a new world that is possible.

I fully realise that what you say about auntie/uncle figures! Yes the poor child has to go back to his 'mean' parents ... but at least the kid *has* uncles and aunties to spoil him! Not to mention his grandparents. This kid's grandfather is a retired preacher, and his mom Nancia and dad Deon live with them (the grandparents) who are at home all of the time, and Nancia's two brothers and one sister are also around much of the time, so Gunther (the kid) has many 'good fairies' to magically cheer him up every now and then!

I think extended families can have great value for kids. This was more or less the norm here in South Africa ... I myself grew up in an extended family where everybody lived with or close to everybody else. My father has two older brothers and two younger sisters, and my mom has an older brother, an older sister, and a younger sister. These aunts and uncles of mine also have lots of kids. My father's mother and both my mother's parents were also alive when I was born and living with or very close to us. In ways this was great, but in other ways it was bad because I have some traumas related to many of the people I was forced to be close to.

Abuse can become entrenched in extended families and this is a very serious problem. However if extended families take note of the potential problems and do their best to prevent and cure these problems, they can be really great for kids. It can add to a kid's happiness and help her/him develop into a successful adult, to grow up around uncles and aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces, and grandparents. In my case even the siblings of my grandparents, and aunts and uncles of my parents, and their children, formed parts of the extended family.

A part of my traumas also came upon my *removal* from this extended-family complex, when we moved away from everybody, to Pietersburg.

Well if I want to have children I certainly need to find the right lady first. But how to do that I don't yet have the faintest idea. The problem is, around here, women my age are all married, and I feel a bit weird about younger women ... I'm getting on in years, wrinkled, and bald, though the old 'bod is better than ever!

Anyways you can certainly tell me about your Someone Special!

Hi Willem,

Well, for a strt off, don't even begin to worry about the age thing, none of that nonsense about wrinkles & sagging!!! For my S. S is actually in chrnological terms 20 years younger than me....but do you think that matters? Not one tiny weeny little bit, so there!

As for meeting someone, well, we met right here on hootoo. So it IS possible, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I think it is actually a very good way to meet, you get to know each other's mind first, the actuality of meeting in person can come later when you are both ready for it. Civilised. I recommend it.

I love the idea of you doing more plant paintings. You are very in tune with this & if you explore this side of it, without the background thoughts of "I have to sell it, I have to produce a literal likeness", I think you could have some lovely times exploring the boundaries of media, (have you considered introducing 3D elements for instance?) & produce some excellent work. Nothing to lose anyway. Do let me know. We could exchange dried plant stuff by post fairly cheaply. (NO, lurkers, this is NOT a veiled drug run!!!)

The bit about abuse being kept as a family secret really got to me. Someone I know was left in a vulnerable position with a memaber of the family who was renowned for his "odd" ways with youngsters. The inevitable happened. Nuff said. Why? The whole family knew. Why did this happen?

*seethe*

Oh, sigh, sigh, sigh.

Back to more cheerful matters. There isn't any great secret about who my Someone special is; it's spim, who does cartoons for . I daren't even say anything, once you get me started, I won't stop. He is a very special person. You can find him on hootoo at U181927, but you probably won't find either of us on hootoo next weekend 'cos I am going to see him in London. (he's already been here to see me in Angoulême.)

OK, enough for now, take care, keep on track, you seem to be doing fine, so hopeful that this time you got out of the "pit" so much more quickly, so lovely that you are back with us now.

squeak soon,



Terri.

Hiya! Well I won't mind meeting someone here or elsewhere on the internet ... people have told me though that they don't think this sort of thing can work, and there's always the problem of distance and money...

I still don't know when I'll get to the plant paintings, still very busy with people's pictures. Anyways will see.

About abuse in extended families ... I'm thinking of a new way of communal living to try and eliminate/reduce abuse ... first of all this community needs a kind of agreed-on 'Constitution' that says no child abuse will be tolerated, and say what is considered to be 'abuse'. And the constitution also has to say that children's total wellbeing is considered ultra-important. In this context, children should rarely if ever be left alone with just one adult person ... also children should also be watched and their wellbeing evaluated regularly to try and see if they're experiencing any problems, showing any signs of having experienced a trauma. There must be a good system of communication between children and adults as well.

I'm still thinking a lot how children could be better protected in society ... any ideas from your side would be very welcome ...

Well anyways I'm happy you've met spim, and I really hope things work out!

Hey what's happening with you these days?

Hi Terri! How are things these days? Anyways I'm dropping in here because I want to keep in touch with you ... at the mo I'm not very strong psychologically, and I'm avoiding many threads because of fear of being very disturbed by things I read on them. I just made a bit of a Freudian Slip ... I first wrote 'threats' instead of 'threads'!! But anyways the world ... even h2g2 ... is looking like a very hostile place to me at the moment.

Hi Willem

Not that strong in that respect either i'm afraid, battling through & trying to take consolation in the fact that the art stuff often takes off when i can't handle the "real" world very well.

My main nightmare is i HAVE to leave this flat by June 30th latest & finding another one which i can afford is proving pretty much impossible;plus i've got some fairly heavy health problems, the main one which is really getting to me is my eyesight. Appointment with opthalmologist on June 18th, i am pretty sure he is going to tell me the bad news i already know; i am trying to do as much visual stuff as possible,read, write, art, computer etc, while i still can. Cannot imagine total dependency, i just won't do it!

Got an exhibition fixed though, see "birds eye" thread, so i will go out with a bang artistically if nothing else!!!

The atrocities in Iraq, on both sides are upsetting me horribly. It just seems that no lessons have been learned from the past & mankind (& womankind!) have an inherent streak of pure evil. It's up to people like us Willem, who get deeply & painfully upset to the point of despair, to try & redress the balance.It really hurts though.

Try to be strong; keep painting, keep posting, keep talking, keep praying.Don't give up.

take care,



zdt

I Terri! It would be really bad to lose your eyesight! What exactly is the problem?

I think that for me life would be hard if I couldn't see ... because of being so into art and so forth. But I've thought about the issue many times ... and decided that even without eyesight, I still would have a lot to live for. But I'm lucky that I have good eyes. I'm the only one in my family that doesn't need glasses. My parents both needed glasses already by the time they were my age.

All I can do is give you my hope for the best and lots of prayers! But you still have your sight, for now at least ... just be kind to your eyes!

I'll check out the bird eye thread for info about your exhibition.

Also best of luck with finding a new flat!

I'm also rather upset about what's happening in Iraq and elsewhere. Mainly however what I'm feeling is a kind of deep weariness about it all ... basically it seems like the same sort of sordid thing happening over and over again, just in different times and places to different people. Its starting to feel like I've seen it a million times already and all the caring about it is starting to produce a kind of deep exhaustion of the soul. You're right, it doesn't seem that people are learning at all. But I do still maintain hope that some people can indeed learn. I'm hoping for a day when there will really be, in the world, a 'civilisation' worthy of the name. What is called at the moment a 'Clash of Civilisations' is a clash of barbarisms in my book ...

Don't worry about *me* Terri, I won't give up!

Terri, I have something for you!

http://www.dreamwater.org/willievander/Hamerkop.html

Please tell me if you managed to see the page OK!