h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi to you all ..... my, it has been some time !

I wondered if some of my friends out there could help? I have tried speaking to those closest to me, and they have not been helpful at all, and actually seemed quite one sided in their arguments. What they don't get is that I don't want their opinions, I want somebody to help me debate the pros and cons. I am at my witts end, I pride myself in helping and guiding others, and yet when it comes to me crying for help, are they there, no. This may come out all rambly, but that is because I am in a rambly mood!

Please bare with me, it will all become clear.......

About 4 weeks ago I came across a job decription for a 'Sales Planning and Analysis Manager', I took one look at it and thought, I could do that! It is very closely related to what I used to do 3 years ago, before I gave up work because of the ME. So I thought, I'll make a few enquiries, its was working for the same company as my boyfriend, so I had a few contacts. I was well aware at the time that there were two major issues at stake here, my ME, and the distance I would have to travel to the office (1 1/4 hours in rush hour), but being open minded, I thought there is no harm. Before I knew it I was in my first interview, which went exceedingly well indeed. This then led to a second interview with the GM for the company. They have been quite positive about work-arounds to compensate for the ME. I have not heard anything back as yet, but I am trying to put off talking to them, so that I can get a few things straight in mind, before entering a possible negotiation situation.

The issues :

* I have had two really good months on the ME front, is this enough of a basis to go back to work, or am I running before I can walk?
* What would be acceptable for work-arounds to compensate for the ME (working from home, late starts early finishes, 3 days a week in the office) ?
* The first 4 months are the worst in a new job, more energy is expended up front, will I be able to get over this period, without crashing on the ME front, and what can I do to avoid?
* This job would bring me independence, a sense of pride of being able to contribute to the household bills, money in my pocket (which I haven't had for 3 years)
* It would aid in my getting out there and meeting new people
* The company is known for being a fast moving environment to work in, I have done it before, can I do it again?
* Should I wait another six months, thus having more confidence in the grounding of my ME?
* Pride, pride and more pride! I am not good at failure. If the job is offered, how can I turn it down?
* My boyfriend, family and friends are all excited at the prospect of me returning to work, how can I let them down should I be offered the job and turn it down?
* My boyfriend says he will stand by me if I take the job, and stand by me if I don't. I am not convinced by this, he has passed a few comments that would indicate he would not be very supportive if I turned the job down.
* This is such a great opportunity, a good job, working for an excellent company, can't miss out.
* I have been led to believe it would not be hard for me to shine in this company!
* I could do the job 3 years ago, but given time and degredation, will I beable to do it again?
* Should I just give it a try, suck it and see?
* What might be the consequences of suck it and see?
* Getting back into this environment would give me such a buzz, might that help me get better, as long as I am measured?
* I have just started to be happy, after 3 years of feeling like I am walking through mud, with major life events. Do I deserve a little more happy time? Doing the projects and hobbies, that have been in aiding in those daily smiles. Or am I just being selfish?
* I decreed when I gave up work three years ago, I would never return to an environment like this again, and that I should follow my heart in an artistic earning capacity.
* I am a Taureun, and money is very important! I can't help it, it is in my nature. Although I have managed without for the last 3 years, it is not how I would want to proceed for the rest of my life.
* If I was to go out to work, all the housework, shopping, cooking would have to be shared out to myself and boyfriend. Or we get cleaners in, buy online etc. So this ups the household costs, but I will be bringing in money to compensate. There is a value on getting back out there, but you can't put $ value on it.
* My boyfriend said he will support me emotionally and physically if I was to return to work, but can I really believe him?
* My boyfriend will suffer, because everything is done for him, and he has had a 24 hour cheer leader at his beckoned call. Will he be able to cope, or will this just come back and bite me in the bum?
* We are in a position, that I don't have to work. We get by, but we literally just get by. Having more income in the household would make a big difference.

So many questions, and so many unknowns. Can anybody help me pro and con this one out? The list is probably twice that size, but these are the highlights! When I have spoken to anybody around me, they have been trying to advise me, and it is always leaning towards the going back to work, and so have felt it has been very one sided. Of course, everybody is so pleased that I have got to the stage of thinking about working, given my dependency for the last 3 years. But this is happening so quickly, and the initial concerns at the outset of this event still stand, but everybody seems to be blind to these. Do they really understand what it is like to have ME, no I don't think so. It is tiring me out. I have a super sonic game of ping-pong going on in my mind. I have been asked "why are you thinking about this before anything has happened", which is a good call, but I feel the need to be prepared, and to know what I really want out of any negotiation that goes on, it could possibly be that actually, I don't want to work at all and it doesnt matter how much they offer me etc. Of course the decision could be made for me, they may not offer me the job, but I feel I need to be prepared.

Can anybody help? Those of you out there that suffer with similar ailments, I know, will understand my predicament best. I can not believe that I didnt come to you guys sooner. Any help will slow down this super sonic game of ping pong, and may even lead to me knowing how to best play this scenario. Please invite anybody into this convo, that you think might be able to guide, help, advise, pros-cons facilitate!

The clock is ticking for me.........

Right, number one; YES I KNOW what you are going through, so you are no longer alone with all this.

It seems to me that there are two issues here, one: the job itself & whether you will be able to cope without it unsettling the current status quo with the ME; the second one is more personal; ie J & how it may affect things with him.

I'm happy to discuss the first one, but i reckon the second (which is of course related to the first) might be better done on MSN or email; time difference between France & Oz is weird, but you know me; i am up now & it's 6.30am here; but legs are screaming, no way can i sleep, so if you are around now i am happy to talk.

Bubbly Wubbly!

I am honoured you posted here, nice to think we can be of help i hope!

zdt