h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

im a mess.

my head hurts so much i that think its going to break.
im so tired but i cant sleep.
im hungry but i cant eat
my body aches so much. its an effort to do anything.
i cant stop crying which is rather difficult to hide from ron

he has noticed that im not myself and keeps asking what is wrong with me but i cant tell him.
everyone knows that he isnt the best of partners to have and that i call him the man of my nightmares.

well i thought i had finally man the man of my dreams. my knight in shining armour who would take me away from all of my troubles and let me live my life to the full again.
ive known this man for several years now, we have always had a strong friendship. other than to say that he is exLD, i wont name and shame him, its not my way.
we have become very close, especially over the past few months and have met and i really thought that those loving words were genuine and that he meant every one of them and with time live 'happily ever after'.

but it wasnt to be.

i innocently foolishly introduced him to another online friend. she is exLD and now a respected member of the LD/H2 family. as i said before i wont name and shame her, its not my way.
we were all having a laugh together online one night. all 3 pc's linked up, a threesome conversation. all 3 webcams working. you know how it works.

and now im no longer in that deep loving relationship anymore. she is.
my dreams have been shattered.

the reason im writing this is to let people know why i have the name tag i have at the moment and why im not at my best.
this might look as if im getting my revenge by being bitchy. its nothing like that. in fact its taken me 5 days to decide whether or not to say anything at all.
its to let people know how this is affecting me and how my already extremely low self esteem is now non existant.
its to let people know that know that im that im not taking this very well.

i only hope that what they have done is worth jeopardising my friendship with them, because ive cut all links with them both. i dont take any comfort with one of his last patronising comments that i should take be pleased that i was the one who got them together.

with friends like that who needs enemies.

Aw Helen

I feel for you hon,honestly i do,i have had that line thrown at me b4 when the man i was living with fell for a friend ov mine & i was asked to leave that night,but graciously he allowed me till the following morning to remove my things...the sound ov them canoodling was too much to take so i spent that night & the following 4mths sleeping under the stars (probably how i ended up with arthritis)
Very Big Hugz 2 u Helen Trish

hi helen,i am sorry that youre sufering so much,you deserve better than been treated like this.all i can say is ....your friendship cant have meant as much to them as it did to you,and maybe it is better that you find out now,rather than later.your knight in shining armour isnt as shining as you thought,,,,,a bit tarnished love,but dont let him,and your so called friend,make you ill.your dream might be a nightmare,but at least he's noticed there's something wrong.....maybe he's more aware of your feelings than you thought???i will mail you.and a bigfor you.salxxx

Sorry you've been feeling blue Helen ((((((HUGS))))))

Emmily

chin up helen...there'll be others who r "much better"...keep smilin yeah,,,dont let em get to ya!!!..xx

hi Helen
I must admit this makes interesting reading you tell everybody about "your knight in shining armour" taking you away from your troubles mainly "the man of your nightmares" but why use a person you talked to mainly online who was at the lowest ebb a human being could be to take you away from your situation ?
online relationships in my opinion should stay exactly there "online"
as for not naming and shaming us on here you have done else where that is how i found out about this site and this is the first response I've made to your comments which is over 12 months ago and i have thought long and hard about this before making any comment.

if online relationships are supposed to stay online, then why are you with shaz? and what about the words you constantly said to me about how much you loved me.

if you have known about this for so long, then why bother to write anything now?.

why cant you do as i asked in the cuddles thread.

leave me alone. i dont need to be constantly reminded of your existance.

Helen, you ok luv...
Like mentioned, 12 cocking months hence, why drag it up now...
You've moved on luv, keep going forward... xxxxxxxx

erm online relationships should stay online as for shaz and i we are not having an online relationship ours is off line and has moved on cos shaz has met my family that is all my family even von's mum.
why have i waited so long to answer your thread i'll tell you i have gone through alot of your threads and have seen the same words said to other online males that you said to me so i think it's about time i had a chance to put my side or do you think that is wrong??
this is a public site and if you hadn't put your opinion of shaz and i on here i wouldn't feel the need to answer your journal

Paganmoon
H has been talking about this for over 12 months now only giving her side of the story and her online friends have been taken in by it judging by your response.

mark.

whatever ive said online in here has been me joking and having a laugh..
there hasnt been anyone else in my life since you and ive learnt the hard way, not to trust anyone again..
im just trying to get by the best i can.

so why on earth do you feel the need to bring it all back up after so long.. unless it is what you said in one of our many phone calls..

the spark is there no matter what..

i have nothing more to say to you.. hence the reason ive just blocked you in msn..

goodbye mark.

politebiglarry... (hope I got that right)

I don't really know much about what has gone on in the past between you and H.. I only know that she was very upset by it all.. I didn't come into this thread to judge anyone, just to enquire as to whether H was ok...

What I can tell you tho', is that H is like me in the respect that we both have a laugh with the opposite sex on the threads in here.. Yes we do flirt, but only in good clean fun, and the fellas know it... I myself am happily married, my hubby knows I have a laugh with the men, he doesn't mind as it's in my nature.. He knows it won't go any further.. What I'm trying to say is that most women on here have a laugh and a bit of a flirt with the men, especially if they meet up regularly in a particular thread.. Everyone knows it's just in good humour, nothing serious and no harm done.. Please don't judge H just for trying to have a laugh with friends and moving on...
x

helen i'm sorry but what you put in your first journal was not the full facts. i have browsed through your threads and i have seen the same lines said to other males as you have said to me and you say you are just having a laugh and joking does that mean you was just joking with me when you said you wanted me to take you away from the man of your nightmares?????
sorry helen but i do not have a spark here for you
i just thought i had the right to have my say seeing i'm the person that you have been discussing on here along with shaz. and to put 1 final fact right shaz and i have never had an online relationship we had been online friends but that was before we met.

mark

PAGANMOON

H and I used to flirt on ld and have a laugh like you do and like you say H does and i take it that this is what H calls an online relationship or perhaps her idea and mine are not the same and that is perhaps the reason for this bad feeling from H
i don't begrudge H from having a laugh and some fun but H didn't have to put this in the public to invite comments from people that don't know the full facts.
H wasn't the only one upset by this.
but i felt i had to let people know that things are not as black and white as they appear

politebiglarry...
I honestly don't know what H classes as an online relationship... A few laughs and mucky jokes doesn't put me in one...
I know a few people have met thru chat site's and have developed their friendship/relationship, and of course met up and sometimes things have taken off...
I, myself have never ventured down this road, having been in a stable marraige.. (well am in a stable marraige)... Although I have met a couple of folk as friends, Male as well as female...
If you think we should know the full story then why don't you enlighten us... As you, yourself said, there's two sides to every story.....
x

mark.

first of all, that journal entry was written a few days after what happened, when i was still hurting and raw inside with your betrayal.

secondly, until you stuck you nose in here, no one knew who you were.

as for what we got up to in leisure district, you are being rather economical with the truth...
it was more than pratting about. we only did that when in the public rooms..
the majority of our freindship which lasted for many years was in private messaging, texts, phone calls, and im sure people can use their imagination without me going into detail about what went on in yahoo with the webcams... remember standing naked with just the beer glass????

of course you and shaz no longer have an online relationship, you dont need to rely on computers anymore, when you see each other in person.

if there is no spark, then why come in here now and upset me all over again. surely what we had doesnt warrant this.. if you have supposedly been following my threads for so long, then why wait till now before replying.. why cant you leave me in peace?

i know that there are two sides to everything.. this journal entry was how if affected me.. and its quite obvious that you still havent got a clue as to what damage you did to me emotionally.
as far as im concerned, you lied decieved and betrayed me.. you dont deserve or warrant the right to reply.

as i said to shaz when it all happened, both of you no longer exist in my eyes. and i still dont want anymore to do with you..

go away.

sheryl.

the sort of online relationship that we had was all lovey dovey and loads of loving words that i thought were being said as if they were meant and they were said over and over again over the 5 years we were chatting.

i was obviously wrong.

now, i just prat about as already said. no one will ever be allowed to get as close as mark did. my sanity is worth more.

Helen

yes i understand that you wrote that when you was "hurt" and yes we had a "friendship" to which i have never denied as for a deep loving relationship they are your words not mine and yes we private messaged each other and boy did did we have fun especially when you asked "are you alone" von and i then saw what you were up to then with wanting a male to take on your committments so you could get rid of "the man of your nightmares

"secondly, until you stuck you nose in here, no one knew who you were"
sorry but you have mentioned me in another thread by name and yvonne too july 04 2003 thoughts and prayers Remember??????


i said and you can check back on this thread for proof that shaz and i have NEVER had an online relationship what we had was online friendship before we met and we aim to have a long relationship
despite your attempts via emails to split shaz and i up when we were just friends.
Again you think i have been following your threads for a long time what i said was that i had gone through your threads and that is only recently in fact you told shaz to read this journal and that is how i came to find out about what you had written and i wanted to reply but not in shaz's username.

Subject: escaping abuse
Posted Oct 20, 2004 by serenity. manageress of the oLDe tea shoppe... next time.. im coming back as a man !!!
This is a reply to this Posting Posting 166


try reading my journal entry about online relationships that stink.



then you will see why i have now unsubscribed from this thread.

NO what i found out was that you wanted to use myself and my children to take you and your mortgage on so you could get rid of when i was at my lowest point and grieving and that is when i saw you for the manipulative woman that you are.
The following are your words about Yvonne and I when i was at my lowest Ebb and this is when you tried to get close for your own ends which i have noticed that you have conveniently forgotton to mention



Subject: thoughts and prayers
Posted Jul 4, 2003 by serenity. manageress of the oLDe tea shoppe... next time.. im coming back as a man !!!
Posting 1


I dont know if any of you remember a couple of exLders called 'mark44' and 'yvonne36' who used to frequent the chat rooms.

They were online for quite a while and became good friends of mine.
Mark in particular.

Well, they are in the middle of a crisis. Yvonne went to the doctors, last september with a few aches and pains and in May was diagnosed with an aggresive cancer(lungs, gullet and liver) and was given months to live.

Well, those few months have now turned into hours/days. Tomorrow she is being taken to a hospice so that she can be taken care of, with dignity.

Yvonne is only 42. She will be leaving a wonderful husband, the type you dont get to see many of. A happy marriage of 20 years and still deeply in love. Three children, aged 16,14 and 10. They have all had what some of us would call a charmed life.

Ive been spending a lot of time recenlty, trying to help Mark. Having had some experience of what he is about to go through. for which he is eternally grateful.


So over the next few hours/days........ could you all please spare a thought or a prayer for this family. Mark is about to lose the one person he cares for more than anyone else in the world.


If anyone would like to mail me with any good wishes, i will pass them on to him..

Thank you for your time.

Helen.

As for the webcam remark i wont stoop to your level so i congratulate you on your lowest snipe ever. At the end of the day Helen all you have done is shown yourself up as the person you really are!

Mark... If it's all in the past luv, then can we please leave it there and all get on with our future lives...
Helen is trying to do that..
Slagging her off 12 months down the line doesn't mean jack luv...
She had her "moan" when it meant summat, but know it's been forgotten... She's moved on... Get over it...
You made your choice, now accept hers... You can't turn back the clock...

PAGANMOON

as you can see by reading the "copy and paste" pieces, helen put shaz and i onto to her thread, and on reading it helen made out that she and i had a loving relationship which didn't happen, i was just trying to bring to light that what was put in her journal was not as its been protrayed
if you look at the dates of the copy and paste you will see that i had the then love of my life until she was taken from me.
this loving relationship that helen goes on about is in her head and not real and i feel i have to make that clear to people that don't know me but have made comments about me based only on what helen has told them.

i have now given my side of the story which you did ask for and now i will leave this alone
the people that have wrongly judged me can now make up their own minds

I don't wish to turn the clock back just want to correct the inaccuracies and i was and i am getting on with my life and future