Journal Entries
Here we go again - Dr Anthea’s Christmas news letter
Posted Dec 13, 2019
So I appear to be here only intermittently but well... I do still think of you all,
So life at the moment is complicated we will rise to the challenge but it’s still tricky at the moment
We bought our first house last October we are hideously disorganised but getting there now, more or less,
This year has its own challenges, it monster started high school and attends a school for children that don really fit in other places, it’s a mixture of asd, and behavioural difficulties but he is setting in and loves baking he’s constantly bringing home biscuits and crumbles and the odd cake, baking seems to be his new joy and I’m happy he has found something he loves, he finally got his diagnosis of autism and PDD? - I think that bit is more explained by him being 11 with autism but 
Little monster is also keeping us busy he is at a new primary school which he loves and is a lot more organised than his last school which seems to suit him, he is still waiting for a asd diagnosis the consultant thinks it’s likely but is still waiting to make the diagnosis till he has more information, he is however a newly diagnosed type 1 diabetic 
So it’s a careful balance of carbohydrates and lipids and insulin.
He has a libre scanner which really is magnificent and takes away some of the horror of regular finger prick blood testing- not that he lets us use fingers they are too sensitive so he has us using toes, we are used to the weirdness of it now I guess it’s been just short of 8 weeks and I need a new sharps bin,
I am still applying for nursing jobs at a higher pay band, I have an interview next week, I’m so very tired f the day to day on the ward where I am now, Recently we haven’t had a completely incident free shift last week I spent around four hours one night in restraint with a patient we are waiting on a forensic placement for, it’s exhausting and sometimes it feels like the system doesn’t care...
Joe is still working in school he got his Christmas bonus today - a box of Thornton’s chocolate, they used to give a turkey and a bottle of wine (which we regifted because we don’t drink alcohol and turkey is gross- but budget cuts mean this has been scaled back he is hoping to reduce his hours soon, he has just finished a few pots for the Harris museum in Preston which is great,
http://www.ucsf.edu/news/2019/02/413186/functional-insulin-producing-cells-grown-lab
Anthea
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Dec 13, 2019
Apologies for the absence
Posted Mar 20, 2019
Well I haven’t been here for a while but I haven’t forgotten about you guys
I’ve been very busy and that’s not a very good excuse
So at the moment I am working Night Shift 
As many of you know I am a nurse on a psychiatric ward
What you may not know is that sometimes I am the only nurse on the ward
A ward for acute psychiatric health of women...
Which holds 18 patients
I couldn’t do my job without the health care assistants they are amazing
On nights there are four of them and me... sometimes three of them me and another nurse
On top of my ward we have to support four other wards, one other acute female, two acute male and the male PICU (psychiatric intensive care unit)
To say it’s busy is an understatement.
I have cried, I’ve worked till I’ve gotten home and vomited, I’ve been assaulted and come home covered in blood (not mine but still...) I’ve become very adept at preparing IM Lorazepam which is my trusts go to panic unmanageable situation medication
Soon I will finish training to be a qualified nursing mentor for students just as they change it all to assessors instead....
I am mentally exhausted and have at times forgotten how to ask for help
I’ve started looking for other jobs... still in nursing but I’m applying for one at a nearby uni at the moment,
Staff pressures are real, safe working is a pipe dream in mental health services at the moment and forecasts are getting worse.
I’ve had staff go home with broken ribs and when you complain you get a look of confusion and ‘well you work in mental health....’ it can’t stay like this but there is no appetite to change anything.
I’ve also made some real friends, I’ve learned that mental health is very much the poor relation of physical health, I’ve seen people go from extremely unwell to fully able to go back to a hopefully full life in the community and I’ve cried with laughter at jokes and sang and danced on the ward with patients when they have needed it, I love my job I really do, but I’m not sure I can do it long term without risking my own health.
It’s been a recent discovery for me that I’m not very healthy, I bottle things up and go home worrying, I have saved lives and I still think ‘what if I should have done something else, said something else, what made me do that unplanned check, what am I doing’ I am not a mental health nurse, I’m not trained in that area, I trained in learning disabilities nursing (we are things of myth don’t worry if you haven’t heard of us) and I have never had someone tell me that I’ve done ok, that it was a good action to take, I’ve never had a debrief over a traumatic experience and I can’t remember the last time I had supervision.... I’ve tried explaining that night shift makes me ill, I can’t sleep because it’s the wrong time, I get acid reflux and heartburn, I get cranky... 
I have psuraosis and as part of that I get quite bad pains in some of my joints and my skin is the worst it has been in years, but apparently I need a doctors note and to go see occupational health and even then it’s not guaranteed that I will be able to do only day shifts.
Mostly as I’m sure you have guessed I came to vent, I will be fine, I have a very understanding husband and he is more than able to make me laugh when I need it and also to tell me to go and try to sleep when he sees I need that too. I am lucky.
Look after yourselves and each other, the world is a hard place at times and kindness is often free, but it can mean everything at the right moment 
~ Anthea
Discuss this Journal entry [8]
Latest reply: Mar 20, 2019
All in a long days work
Posted Jul 15, 2018
So for some unknown reason I’m working in mental health, an 18 bedded acute women’s ward.
On Friday I did a 13 hour shift known as a ‘long day’,
one nurse on the early had to go at 12 (3 hours early) due to a home emergency another who started at 12 on the late had to go at 4 (4 hours early) injuried on shift by a patient,
we had to get maintenance in to remove all the poster/pin boards from the ward as the same patient had ripped one from the wall (think oversized A0 size) in order to use the screws as a weapon...
This left myself a learning disability nurse and one ‘preceptor’ nurse and a student with six hca’s staffing the ward.
IM ( inter muscular) lorazepam 1mg given to patient as rapid tranquillisation - which turned out to be as effective as sprinkling glitter on her...
Patient has 2 staff with her at all times to try and prevent further incidents
At 4.30 pm we have to manually lock the ward doors with the key rather than relying on the magnetic locks as patient is trying to force these open...
The shift end at 8.30 pm could not come quickly enough
Somehow no one else was injured the one nurse had to be collected by his wife and taken to the main hospital over a mile away for medical attention mine is a specialist mental health hospital we do not have physical health facilities we can’t do IV (inter venous) we don’t have X-ray or anything similar, we’ve even been told by management were not to canulate... (yes take a moment to enjoy the stupidity)
Some days I fear for my team, and my own safety... this was one of those days
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Jul 15, 2018
In the dark of night
Posted Feb 6, 2018
So... I’ve been rather busy with this work thing
Although I enjoy being a nurse... I am constantly tired when I’m not working
And due to this have been neglecting certain things like h2g2 
I have just finished a flurry of night shifts 
Which went better than I initially feared. Although some nights involved a lot of running around responding to staff alarms...
My day shift pattern is two 13 hour days and two 8 hour days so that’s not much better...
So yes staff where I work all have a personal alarm which we use to alert each other that we need help, it tells you where an alarm has been activated through a phone system but is otherwise silent... so patients are not always aware when you have activated one.
I work in a specialist mental health hospital... that being one that only treats mental health and two wards for dementia (one per gender) all wards are single gender wards and the patients have individual bedrooms with ensuite and showers
My ward currently is home to 16 ladies (although last week we had 17 at one point despite only having 16 rooms and had to send a lady to another ward to sleep for one night) due to constant pressure for beds we had to fill one while the lady was on home leave and she returned unexpectedly.
It is mostly... nice (we don’t say the word quiet when we’re working as were a superstitious lot) I like it
I like working despite being a learning disability nurse on a mental health ward I find the two are closely enough related that I don’t feel lost, and the staff team are super and supportive so I’m quite pleased. Except when I had to cover a ward I knew nothing about...
all I can say is when you see people in the news complaining we are short staffed and under funded it is no exaduration we are constantly asking for more staff and constantly being told we can’t use bank or agency staff as it costs too much and then factor annual leave and sick days.....
Anyway I didn’t want to complain just wanted to let you all know what I’ve been up to lately.
We are hoping to move house this year at some point as this one is getting small now the boys are getting bigger...
we are still waiting for an autism diagnosis for the big monster but the paediatrician has said we will probably get one when it goes to panel, he’s also worried about the little monster and wants the school to start working more supportively. We are struggling to think of a good high school for the big one as he is too able for a specialist school but will need a good support for normal high school... he loves science and drawing but hates English and writing...
And... I’m hoping to take a trip to Northern Ireland in the summer (now that I have ID) once I’ve done some research on where to stay and how to travel...
It feels a bit like life is just working and sleeping with everything else just happening around the edges and at times I feel a bit lost... but I’m building the balance back up slowly Anthea
Discuss this Journal entry [11]
Latest reply: Feb 6, 2018
Done it.... somehow
Posted Sep 13, 2017
So... today my final transcript arrived,
I'm officially a qualified nurse 
I sign the NMC (nursing midwifery council) paperwork on Friday
I have a staff nurse job 
It's at the local mental health hospital
My plan is, to work there for a few years get some experience and my driving licence, get a nurse prescribing qualification with one of the psychiatrists as a mentor then switch to community... possibly even a nurse psychiatry clinic ( I know they run in camhs but haven't seen an adults one yet...) and that will take a while so I'll worry about what's next after all that... 
I'm still in a state of shock, 
Anthea
Discuss this Journal entry [11]
Latest reply: Sep 13, 2017
Back to Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! 's Personal Space Home
Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it!
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