h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I understand you are interested in opening nightclubs. Don't bother how I found out, someone told me. After all, I am a very influential man. However, if you would like to open one inside my hotel, The Olympus, please contact me there.

*looks suspiciously at Mr.V.*
Too late, I'm bothered. Who could have possibly told you about my opening a night club. Nobody but a select few know about that. Your obviously someone who is rather new to the way things work around here. And I don't know that you're entirely to be trusted. But then again neither am I! I'll look into giving you the link.

(In a letter to skullock)
I know of your nightclubs. Please, accept my invitation to build the finest underground fighting facility ever conceived in my great city of Fran San Cisco. I can't guarantee you anything, but I can assure you no homosexual people will be present, as I have wiped them off of the face of the planet, and hopefully sent them somwhere much darker and terrible than my beloved Hell. Consider this a peace treaty as well, if you decide to bring your franchise to my city, the fighting between us shall cease.

Yours Hellishly,
Dark Watcher

(In another letter)
Oh yes, I almost forgot, if you construct a club here, it shall be known as "Smite Club".

Yours Hellishly,
Dark Watcher

All rather tempting offers, I'll have to think about this all.