h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And I couldn't stand not to congratulate you.

The eccentric charm of the quote makes it a well-made choice.

DG

Do you know the joke behind it? It's got to be fairly old by now.

And also, just checking, but we seemed to have Jabberwock's quote from yesterday for most of today as well. Did one get missed?


Geggs

No, I don't know the joke.

Yeah. There was a small problem with the server last night. I'll save that quote and put it in tomorrow night. Sorry about that.

Well, it's based around the old strapline for Fairy washing-up liquid - "Hands that do dishes are as soft as your face with mild green Fairy Liquid".

So, this bloke goes into a seafood restaurant, which actually has the available food still living in water tanks dotted about the place. To pick your meal you have to point to the marine lifeform of your choice, and it will be taken out, killed, prepared in the appropriate manner, and brought to your table on a plate.

So, this bloke goes in, takes a look around, and points at his dish of choice. The waiter looks troubled, "Er, are you sure, sir?"

"Yes", says the customer, "That is the one that I want."

"Ah, but sir, that is the gentle emerald squid with the hairy lip. It has been in our tanks for such a long time. Others have been and gone, but that squid has been here for as long as I have. Ever since our establishment opened, in fact. It's kind of become our mascot, our pet, if you will. Could I beg you to reconsider?"

"No," said the customer, "that is the squid I picked, and that is the squid I want to see on my plate."

"Very well, sir. I can tell you that our chef, Gervase, is particularly fond of that squid. It will be very hard for him to kill it. You do realise that you will be asking him to do something that, for a man of his temperament, will be incredibly difficult for him?"

"I want that squid," our monolithic customer replied.

"Yes, sir. As you wish, sir." And with that the waiter scooped the squid out of the tank and took it to the kitchen. Howls were heard. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth was evident. Five minutes later the waiter returned.

"I'm very sorry sir, but it's just not possible. I told you that Gervase holds the emerald squid with the hairy lip in great affection. He simply cannot bring himself to kill it. I'm very sorry, but you will have to order something else. Anything else. Just don't make me go back in there and tell him to kill the squid. You didn't see the tears in his eyes, sir. The whites of his knuckles as the knife hovered inches above the squid. He just could not make that knife drop, sir. Please, order something else."

Our customer remained impassive, the cold hearted monster that he is, "Get me my squid."

"Okay. Okay. I can see that you won't be swayed. I'll see what I can do. Ah, actually, I've just had a thought. Hans the dishwasher (German boy, lovely smile) is a recent arrival. Since he hasn't been here that long, maybe he will be more, I shudder to say it, heartless with the squid. Obviously, we wouldn't normally let him near the food, but it seems like he would be the only way that we would be able to serve you this evening. Excuse me a moment."

And with that the waiter slunk off back to the kitchen. A further five minutes' wait ensued. But this time no weeping or wailing could be heard. Instead a deathly silence hung over the place. Eventually the waiter re-appeared.

"No sir, but it really is impossible. You see, Hans that does dishes is as soft as Gervase with mild green hairy lip squid!"


Geggs

Was this a story on 'My Word'? It sounds like something Frank Muir would come up with.

.... And once more.. Congratulations


F132065?thread=8287847&show=20&skip=20#pi39





lil x

Thanks lil!

Were having a mad day today. Packing up all our stuff, ready for moving on Monday.

Actually, would you mind doing the congratulations for a few days? I may not get the time.


Geggs

You are moving too??


I hope to be moving in September


Don't worry about the 'congrats', I will amble along with it.

Good luck on Monday!


lil xx

We are. Annoyingly the removals people say they are fully booked, so we've got to do the whole move ourselves. We've hired a Transit for Monday, but there is a lot of heavy lifting to do.

I think today's Quote is the first one from one of my congratulations threads. It's almost like QotD is becoming self-referencing.


Geggs

Nothing is privit here

I add my congrats. And with the moving!

Thanks Dmitri. Not sure when (or whether) I'll get this month's QotD Review done. I can't really write it till the end of the month, at which point I'll be in an internetless house. Could prove difficult.

Oh, and if nothing here it privit, is it at least shrubbery?


Geggs

Definitely shrubbery.

No problem, Geggs, whenever you get around to it.

We might even plant a few things

*giggles*


We gotcha, again!


F19585?thread=8294971&Show20=#pi1


Hope your house move is going to plan, hunny


lil xx

Thanks, lil!

The move is going well. We are in the new house, and slowly getting through all the boxes. Next will be painting, getting a new fireplace, new doors, bunk beds for the boys, and probably lots of other stuff too!

How are things progessing with your move?


Geggs

We've had the survey done on our house, and all seems to have passed with flying colours!

Now we are having to answer loads of niggly questions from the solicitors


lil x

Well done, Geggs! You are, once again, today's Quote of the Day! http://www.h2g2.com/forums/A148907/conversation/view/F19585/T8295228/page/1/#P110642003 lil xx

Thanks lil.

Let's try again! Congratulations once more, Geggs! You are today's Quote of the Day! http://www.h2g2.com/forums/A148907/conversation/view/F19585/T8295228/page/1/#P110642003 lil x