h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mr king fishy person or should that be seafood platter moomoo2 here brother of 1 in my space i am starting a revolution for genetically engineerd animals that are ready to be eaten for better working conditions more humane suiside pills for animals without that masochistic streak in them and better medical cover for false limbs for meals that have not been finished. looking forward to your reply.

My dear bovine wonder,

Sign me up post haste.

How I long to see a world where the humble mouse may have ears grafted upon their back in the name of good honest family entertainment; or failing that, an ash tray.

The creation of a genetic organism that not only wishes to be eaten but will also poison and cook itself into the bargain is the search for the divine in all of us. Well, that is not strictly true, but I rather like the sound of it.

If I may offer a cautionary word of advice, I recommend that arsenic is better left off the list of potential poisons. My own research has shown that the resultant meal typically turns the consumer green, stiff, horizontal and rather lacking in the respiration department.

Cybernetic limbs for unfinished animal meals would be a most gracious offering. Perhaps some variety of medical pension scheme for trotterless pigs, headless horses and tailless oxen could be established so that these unfortunate beasts of burden may live the remainder of their lives in relative peace and comfort.