h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm...

Posted Jul 15, 2002

This seems pretty useless so why not use it right?

Ok... if you're reading this you're obviously literate or somebody thinks you are unless you're looking at an upsidedown monitor in which case nobody will be fooled right? Right...

Now that we've got that out of the way... let's talk about journalism... what it is and why it's important.

Journalism is something journalists do who are reporters on ego trips. They publish their 'journals' called newspapers or newscasts or reality tv with bylines... which are lines that can go either way.

Journalism is important because the press keeps us free by fair and balanced reporting of the news... unless you live in a democracy in which case they report whatever the editor tells to them to report based on the last focus group results from the ad sales division.

And if you don't live in a democracy... well the government tells you what's going on just like in a democracy except you know the government's lying but you have to believe them... which you never know in a democracy because only the politicians lie to get elected then they all of sudden just stop lying for no apparent reason so you can trust them. And everybody else tells the truth of course... especially CEOs unless everybody else is actually lying then everybody does it because everybody else does it.

So it's probably better to live in what's called an anarchy which is where there's no government so you don't have to worry about whether they're lying or not or whether you have to believe them or not. And everybody can be a journalist because nobody knows anything except what they can see and hear for themselves because... as everybody knows... everybody else is lying.

Now... that should be pretty clear and if it isn't... don't ask questions or somebody will think you're thinking and that's not allowed in any civilized community on earth so you'll both get in trouble.

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Latest reply: Jul 15, 2002