h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My computer seems to be behaving itself again, so I thought I'd do a better response than I did in my guestbook

I'm glad you like my page - it took me ages, using trial and error (well, mostly error actually) to get it like it is, and I'm pretty about it (or should that be irritatingly smug?)

The main thing I wanted to do (which my computer wouldn't let me do ) was tell you my truly stupid viola joke (not to be found on any of the established websites - well not that I've found, anyway!). I think I've told it to every viola player I've found so far on H2G2 - whether they're playing today or not - so you're no exception (Maybe my computer is on a mission to prevent me spreading this joke around the world - thereby saving mankind as we know it).

Okay - the joke:

(drumroll)

What's black and brown - and looks good on a viola player?

(drumroll)


(drumroll)


(yet more drumroll)


(gosh - isn't this boring?)


(I'll get to the answer in a minute...)


(oh no - not more drumroll)


Here it is:

A rottweiler!!!

(Okay - I admit it. I'm really sad. But what did you expect from a viola player? )

Good luck with the fiddle teacher hunt! I'd be happy to look for a teacher for you - but as I live in South Wales, you'd need to charter a jumbo jet for lessons...

Funny joke... would be better about Banjo players!

Hmm... I've always wanted to visit Wales... no, probably should find a teacher closer to home. I am enjoying trying out the fiddle right now, not so very different from the viola as I thought... but then again I was 10 last time I picked either instrument up!

So, what is the music scene like over there? What are you currently listening to? Are you a concert goer, a performer, or an lp buff, etc.?
Yankee-shoes

The music scene here is pretty active on all fronts - particularly in July/August as we've just had the 'Welsh Proms' in Cardiff, the main Prom season is still in full swing for another month in London, there are festivals and open air concerts going on all over the country (which is a pity really, as we are currently having one of the worst summers I've ever seen - is it ever going to stop raining? Nope, don't think so). And the Welsh National Eisteddfod is going on in St. Davids (a tiny little place in the far South West of Wales which is best know for being the UK's smallest City - because it has a Cathedral).

Living in Cardiff makes it pretty easy for me, as I have access to a wide range of musical activities - and being a viola player, I'm usually welcomed with open arms (despite what they say in the viola jokes!)

I listen to pretty much anything, really.

It's the 'down' season at the moment for me, with the two orchestras I play in (both amateur - I don't get paid for my efforts ) taking a couple of months off. But I do try to fill in as much time as possible with chamber music - playing string quartets on a semi-regular basis and viola/clarinet/piano stuff from time to time.

I have to admit that the only concerts I go to are the ones I play in, as my concentration levels when I'm not actually occupied with something are embarrassingly low, and I get bored very quickly.

However, I do enjoy tapping away on my little laptop at home (not connected to the internet alas - I have to do my on-line stuff on my office computer at w*rk). When I'm doing that, I put on all sorts, from Mahler through to Rachmaninov (last night) through to the soundtrack from 'Gladiator' (last night again) to Dance compilation CDs and Chillout music. A couple of weeks ago it was 'The Rite of Spring' and 'The Firebird', and then Abba (reminds me of my childhood - I was a little kiddie back in the seventies when they were around and I thought they were great - still do actually).

Ironically, virtually my entire 'orchestral' CD collection has been built up over the years by me going out and buying stuff that I'm playing. That's how I ended up with the Stravinsky and the Rachmaninov (second symphony - it's a stunner), Mahler symphonies no. 1, 2 and 6 (all fab) and so on.

Even though I don't enjoy concerts - I couldn't survive without music of some sort (apart from Rap - can't cope with that). Silence seems to just sap my concentration (what little concentration I have, that is).

Rachmaninoff is a favorite of mine. I wish I had a sparkling story of how I came upon his masterpieces... but the truth is I never heard of him until I saw the movie "Shine" and I was hooked.

When you say "prom" are you talking about the high school dances?

No - I didn't (oops). Sorry, I keep forgetting what 'prom' means in the States!

A 'Prom' is short for 'Promenade' concert (I imagine it's short for 'Promenade' in America too - except that your promenade is a dance event). A conductor by the name of Henry Wood began performing them in the Queen's Hall in London around a hundred years ago. They turned into an annual season of concerts - which is now one of the major music festivals in the World.

The main reason they call it a 'Promenade concert' is that not all of the people at the concert can sit down. They take all the seats out of the middle of the hall and people stand/walk about (i.e. 'Promenade'). You can only go and stand in the middle area (and be called a 'promenader' for the privilege) if you go to a fair number of the concerts. People queue up for ages to do this.

The Queen's Hall got bombed in the Second World War, so they now hold the season at the Albert Hall instead. It starts in midsummer, and goes on to early September.

The season is best known for the 'Last Night of the Proms' which is the one where everyone comes along with flags to wave (and hats, balloons, inflatable bananas, teddy bears etc. etc. etc.) and has a jolly old time. The flags used to be only Union Jacks, but now it's a big international party and we get the works, Stars and Stripes, Southern Cross (both Aussie and Kiwi), Welsh Flags, Scottish Flags, Dutch, German... Everyone's welcome

The Promenaders who inhabit the middle area for this will have been to most, if not all, of the concerts during the season, and will also have queued for hours to get the tickets. They will then rush in to stand at the front and wave their flags/hats/balloons/inflatable bananas/teddy bears in time to the music (some will come dressed in tails and 'conduct' at the barrier).

The first half of the concert is a 'normal' programme and everyone behaves themselves, but the second half is traditional and a big party.

They always play 'There's no place like home'and a piece by Henry Wood based on traditional sea songs (which contains the 'sailors Hornpipe' which is always accompanied by car horns, whistles and similar noise making items specially brought by the Promenaders).

Some famous singer will come on and sing 'Rule Britannia' and they will then play Elgar's 'Pomp and Circumstance March no.1' which is the one with 'Land of Hope and Glory' in it - which everyone will then sing - as loudly as they can.

Then the Conductor will make a speech (always humorous, of course) and everyone will finish with the hymn 'Jerusalem'.

There are also traditional chants (though the microphones never seem to pick up the words). I suppose it's a bit like a late night screening of the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show', but a bit more genteel. Apart from the bursting balloons and party poppers.

We in Wales do our own version - which only lasts a week - but has the full works of music too. The Welsh Proms usually have a 'theme' to them - such as the 'Gamelan Prom', 'Opera Prom' and 'Jazz Prom'.

The Welsh Proms also have a slightly different tradition in that one of the proms (the Children's Prom) is always performed by Cardiff Philharmonic Orchestra - which is unique amongst all the orchestras which play there because we're an amateur orchestra (yes I play in it!). This, too, is a major event - everyone dresses up (the kids and the orchestra), and by the end of it we are practically buried in a tangle of paper streamers. We complain about it a lot - but we love it really.

My claim to fame!!!

How absolutely wonderful!!! I feel bad, because I just started work again and have a shortage of time for the next two days, and you wrote me that lovely long description... and I am so frazzled I can't think of anything to say, nor would I have the time to say it in!

Have you ever been to the states? Anything you want to know about? I would be happy to talk more the second I am done with orientations.

Alas no, I've not had the chance to go Stateside (to use a truly well worn cliché) - though my sister crossed the pond to visit her penfriend about ten years ago and had a truly fabulous time visiting New York State (and NYC as well).

The best fun she had was with the different conventions and language differences - though her best one was, when in a Burger King and asked what she wanted, she fancied some 'twister fries', but couldn't remember what they were called. So she came up with 'Spirally Chippy things' (as what you call fries, we call chips - and what you call chips, we call crisps).

Then there was the time that they had French Toast for breakfast (I think that's the American term for it - slices of bread dipped in egg and fried, we call it 'eggy bread' in our house - since that's what it is!). Her penfriend was cheerfully dolloping on the Maple syrup whilst my sister was dolloping on the Tomato Ketchup. They looked at each other's plates and said 'Urgh!

My parents visited last year (doing a US and Canada visit), and they loved it as well, though the weather in NYC was rubbish: mist, drizzle and low cloud. They went up to the top of the Empire State Building - and saw fog. A real shame.

The other thing that astounded them was the food. Not the quality (nothing unexpected about that - very good as I understand it), but the quantity. The portions were Huuuuuuuuuuge!

I get a nasty feeling that, if I visited - I'd walk off the plane, but have to be rolled back on when I left!

Any questions about the UK - I'm happy to return the compliment. Culture should be shared!

Yes, the portions are incredibly big. French toast is a favorite of mine with butter and powdered sugar with some maple syrup. In the southern states, people often load their french toast and pancakes with peanut butter, lots of maple syrup, or gravy or ketchup.(In the south they put gravy on everything, though).

I went to NYC for the first time this summer... truly a fun place to visit (emphasis on visit). So many cultures represented in one city. The most fun was eating baklava in Brooklyn, the hardest bit was an unexpected visit to where the twin towers used to be. I hadn't expected to cry (the whole 9-11 event didn't really effect me much at the time) but I did once I was there. Just a huge gaping hole was left when I got there. I guess although it was a tragedy and all, I can't say I was surprised someone would want to attack the states, and as that sort of thing happens all over the world everyday... well I was shocked that I would have any kind of emotional reaction. I walked up the viewing ramp and rested my hand on the wooden rail. There was graffiti all over the ramp and rail, patriotic and memorial and the like. I am a huge Bob Dylan buff, so when I looked down to see written between my hands "How many deaths will it take till they know, that too many people have died?" it really made an impact at how I looked at the whole situation.

Actually, I visited 25 different states this summer, and had a lot of fun exploring. It's strange how different each region is within one country, even the government changes. California had border checks, wouldn't let us bring in any fruit or anything, and is pretty much a police state, while Michigan is still very functional on a township basis (County, City, Township, Village(under 1000 people, generally)is the order of local government as far as size).

One of my favorite things to do is to visit a place while reading a book by an author from the area, or who wrote about the area (like Harper Lee while in the deep south). I also love reading about different places... although I always wonder how accurate they are. Are there any books about or set in your area that I should peruse?

Probably - but nothing classic. I think it's mostly 'modern' fiction which usually contains lots of profanity and suchlike - but I could be generalising here. I'd have to check out a bookshop and see what there is.

You *have* been about, haven't you? 25 States! The UK is titchy in comparison and I've hardly been anywhere! It must be weird, going from state to state and suddenly finding yourself subject to a whole new set of laws just passed by that state alone. The closest equivalent I can think of is going to Scotland. They have their own parliament now, and can make their own laws.

I agree with your comment about the emphasis on the word 'visit' when talking about NYC - I feel the same way about London. It's a great place with loads to see, but I wouldn't want to live there. Far too big.

It's absolutely crammed with history though - there have been people living there since before Roman times. But things really got exciting later on.

My favourite bits:
Westminster (the Abbey, the Houses of Parliament, Whitehall - for Downing Street, Horse Guards Parade, Trafalgar Square, St James' Park, the Mall and Buckingham Palace - all within easy walking distance - oh, and the London Eye is just across the river as well for amazing views.)

The Tower (miles away from Westminster, so you need to use the Tube to get there - but awesome. There's lots to see: Tower Green, The Ravens, Traitor's Gate, the Bloody Tower - great name, that - the Yeomen Warders and the Crown Jewels. It's still a little community in its own right as well. People still live there! - and Tower Bridge is next door. That's the one that people think is London Bridge. But London Bridge is a bit back down the river, and it's dead boring in comparison. Just a bridge, really.)

Ludgate Hill (this is where St Paul's Cathedral is - and the 'Old Bailey' as well. It's also where an attempted coup against Queen Elizabeth the first fizzled out.)

And those are just my favourite bits. There's also Covent Garden - which is great to visit, Oxford Street and Regent Street (for shopping!).

The biggest advantage, of course, is that I live in Cardiff - and don't have to live there!

London is one of my dream visits... I grew up on British literature, comedy, and plays. When I hear the word "London" I immediatly think of Sherlock Holmses apartment on Baker Street (I was in complete love with Holms... not quite over it I'm sure . I make an absolute pest of myself when friends come back from Europe, forcing them to show pictures and explain. Most people hate slide shows and scrap books... I adore them.

I always find myself looking Wales up on the map... I am terribly ignorant of it. I am still not sure whether it's technically part of England, or the British Isles, or what... and know very little about it's government and culture in general.

School starts on Monday... I'm really ready for the students to get here! This next week I will be so very busy... and I love it!!!
Y.S.

I know what you mean. I've been a Holmes fan myself for a long time - I've read every single story Conan Doyle wrote. Cracking stuff.

To answer your question about Wales - no it's not a part of England, but it is a part of the United Kingdom. We have our own Government, too - though it can't make laws (but it can bring parts of laws into force if it wants to), that's still done by the UK Government. There's more information on that on the Assembly's official website:

http://www.wales.gov.uk


Wales very much has a separate identity to England, it also has its own language (which also happens to be one of the oldest 'living' languages in Europe), and, whilst Welsh isn't the 'Lingua Franca' of Wales, there are still lots of people (and, in fact, whole communities) who don't speak any English at all for weeks at a time - and when they do, it's just to give a lost tourist directions somewhere!

I've been trying to learn it for years - but my spectacular linguistic incompetence has been a persistent barrier to my becoming able to converse with anyone much - though I managed to get to the point where I could say things in the past tense recently, which is the furthest I've ever managed to get. Though, if someone were to speak to me in Welsh, I'd go into 'learner panic mode' and probably completely forget every single word !

The Website for the Assembly is available in Cymraeg (Welsh) and Saesneg (English), so you can see what Welsh looks like written down.

There's a thriving culture, based on music, dance and literature (from the earliest Celtic legends to Dylan Thomas himself). And as for the countryside (particularly the Central and Northern mountains) - stunning.

I'd suggest some highlights - but there's so much I would never stop!

you can visit http://www.visitwales.com (that's our official tourism website - operated by the Wales Tourist Board). It's actually geared towards getting you to holiday in Wales - but there's lots of stuff on what there is to see, and there are even recipes and things!

Thanks! I will indeed check that out! In a rush to make a church service... then off to the Christian Nightclub called "Visions"... probably won't get computer time until sunday .

Hope you had a nice time at 'Visions'!

I'm around for a couple more days, then I'm off on holiday for a fortnight. Two whole weeks in Kent! I can hardly wait!

They call Kent the 'Garden of England', and they grow loads of hops there for beermaking. Londoners used to cart themselves off to Kent every summer to earn a bit of money helping to pick the hops.

The hops, once picked, were dried in round buildings with pointy conical roofs called 'Oast Houses', and we're staying in a converted one while we're away. Semi interesting fact of the day...

We're also planning to visit Canterbury (which is meant to be absolutely stunning - and not just the Cathedral), and Hever Castle, which is where Anne Boleyn lived for many years. My pals SuePlusArt have been recommending all sorts of places for us to go to, so there won't be a shortage of things for us to do.

I don't think I'll have much computer access (unless we end up having a coffee in an internet café) whilst I'm away. So I'll be back online the first day back at w*rk (so I'll definitely need to cheer myself up with some H2G2!).

Have a great holiday... drink a Kent for me, we're stuck with a drinking age of 21 here, which isn't bad at all.

Busy with work myself! Talk to you in a couple weeks!(If hugs are okay with you... do the Welsh suffer from the scourge of "British Detachment"? The U.S. is a touchy-feely nation.)

Heck no. All s welcome!

It's true though that the Welsh are certainly not a reserved bunch. The English are getting better at not being stuffy as well (I should know - I'm English myself).

British Reserve? That's the name of my musical instrument insurance company!

I guess you've been fortunate enough never to have seen any telly programmes about young Brits in the Mediterranean - oh dear, (puts head in hands in despair) oh dear, oh dear...

Ibiza and Agia Napa are a nightmare when the 18-30 lot turn up to go clubbing - I wouldn't go there if you paid me, unless there are nice places to visit that are far, far away from the nightclubs .

I think it must be the 'being in a foreign climate away from the restraints of home life' effect. The pictures we see are truly pitiful. People drunk up to their eyeballs, dancing on tables, indecently exposing themselves the moment they see a television camera... (actually, some British town centres are having to put up with that on a Saturday night as well - so maybe its more than just a 'holiday' thing...)

What's that quote from 'the Fly'? "Be afraid - be *very* afraid"

P.S. I'm not like that. The very idea...(shudder). My idea of a good time on a Saturday night out is playing in a concert. I get entertained, the audience gets entertained. A good result all round!

Young Brits in the Mediterranian sound like American young folk on Spring Break.*cringe*. They all go to Cancun or Miami or some beach site a few hundred miles away from mom and dad, get drunk, stds, and tatooed in the space of a week, and claim "anything that happens on ____ Beach stays in ____Beach". Gals expose themselves for strings of mardi gras beads.It's really very sad, and most parents aren't aware of how bad it really is, they just remember the Frankie and Annette movies and nostalgia gives in to reason.

I never went in for that sort of thing myself. My spring break senior year was spent on the road with a touring drama team, where I performed at churches and coffeehouses. I like Visions because it has a coffee bar, and dance floor, and the guys on security make sure no one's being hit on too hard (or at all).

So, British Reserve is an insurance company?I have to keep reminding myself that time has passed over there since the movies and shows and books I've seen were produced. Of course, you can't really tell a whole lot by those sources anyway... even though people do. I can't imagine what the world must think of the U.S. solely on our movies and telivision.

My family just came in contact with a distant Russian relative, who told us he was appalled at Hollywood's portrayal of Russians "Stomping about in fur, swilling the vodka, fingers poised over the bomb". Hmm.

Y.S.

Young Brits in the Mediterranian sound like American young folk on Spring Break.*cringe*. They all go to Cancun or Miami or some beach site a few hundred miles away from mom and dad, get drunk, stds, and tatooed in the space of a week, and claim "anything that happens on ____ Beach stays in ____Beach". Gals expose themselves for strings of mardi gras beads.It's really very sad, and most parents aren't aware of how bad it really is, they just remember the Frankie and Annette movies and nostalgia gives in to reason.

I never went in for that sort of thing myself. My spring break senior year was spent on the road with a touring drama team, where I performed at churches and coffeehouses. I like Visions because it has a coffee bar, and dance floor, and the guys on security make sure no one's being hit on too hard (or at all).

So, British Reserve is an insurance company?I have to keep reminding myself that time has passed over there since the movies and shows and books I've seen were produced. Of course, you can't really tell a whole lot by those sources anyway... even though people do. I can't imagine what the world must think of the U.S. solely on our movies and telivision.

My family just came in contact with a distant Russian relative, who told us he was appalled at Hollywood's portrayal of Russians "Stomping about in fur, swilling the vodka, fingers poised over the bomb". Hmm.

Y.S.

Absolutely. I think TV and the media in general have perpetrated all sorts of daft stereotypes about nationalities. All that rubbish about Lederhosen and Beersteins in Germany, Berets and Garlic in France etc. etc. ad nauseum.

But then - we've had the European ones for absolutely centuries. I read somewhere that someone on the 'Grand Tour' around two hundred years ago said all sorts of things I'm not going to repeat here (I'd probably get yikes'd if I did - and rightly so) about the various nationalities that still seem to be the stereotype even today!

In some respects, I suppose we need to put people in these little 'category boxes' to make sense of our surroundings - but I wish we didn't. People should just be people - and be *allowed* to just be people.

There. Thought for the day!

Mind you, I was watching one of a regular strand of (low budget) TV programmes called '(insert noun here) from Hell' - which was 'Tourists from Hell' and it was horrific. One of those programmes you watch having to hold your chin up to stop your jaw dropping in disbelief. Scary stuff - I still find it amazing that people can actually behave like that! Needless to say - it's all alcohol fuelled - though there are possibly one or two banned substances involved here and there as well I expect. I'm glad I don't like the taste of the stuff. Give me or any day.

Last day in w*rk today! Yay! And I've got a rehearsal to enjoy tonight! Mega yay!

I'll let you know how my hols went when I get back. I'm thinking about keeping a journal while I'm away (I did when I went to China a couple of years ago - I needed to, we were there for three weeks and saw something awesomely amazing at least three times a day) and I might pop something in as an entry. That'd be fun, I think.

That would be great!!! I have so much I should post, but I hate computers. Right now I'm still plugging away at oxygen bar research, and maybe one on Rockapella.

Have fun on your holidays!!! bye!

The wanderer has returned.

What a time I had! I almost walked my legs off.

I went to (clears throat and takes deep breath):

Hampton Court Palace
Leeds Castle (A castle where Henry VIII stayed)
Hever Castle (The home of Anne Boleyn before she married Henry)
Chartwell (the home of Winston Churchill)
The Tower of London and St. Katharine's Dock (they raised Tower Bridge while we were there, too!)
Knole (A converted Archbishop's Residence - also visited by Henry VIII)
The Old Naval College, the National Maritime Museum, the Queen's House and Royal Observatory (all at Greenwich - went there by boat from Westminster Pier)
Notre Dame and Sainte Chappelle
The Eiffel Tower
Smallhythe Place (home of a famous English Actress called Ellen Terry)
Rye (Lovely little town on a hill which used to be on the coast)
and more - but I'm running out of breath...

And the Oast House we stayed in was really nice. There were hot air balloons taking off on some evenings, and one of them was so low it nearly scraped the roof!