h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Percival Picklepucker, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

Hi.

Percival Picklepucker here. Okay, I'm not the
world's greatest comic; that spot's already taken
by my former partner, "Indiana" Fugglesby. He was
a great comic, but he went to the loo a while back,
and was never seen again. Never heard, either.


My new partner is Nancy the Dragon U196805. Sashay
over to her PS, but be careful of her hot breath.
She's in great demand at celebrity roasts.

I'm a comic. I tell jokes. They don't have to be
*funny* jokes. 36% of any audience will laugh at
things that are unfunny. That's been proven. I'm
lucky, 'cause 36% of me is unfunny, too.

You've heard the one about why the chicken
crossed the road, right? If you haven't,
I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. (Ba-whing!)

Anyway, what do you get when you cross a chicken
with a road?

Give up? You get poultry in motion.



Hey, don't blame me for that one, I didn't write it.

No, wait, I *did* write it, come to think of it.

Introducing Lost Loon:

Ah, you've found me. Nice work.

I'm Percival Picklepucker's manager, but he
has gone off *somewhere*, leaving me to take
care of his Personal Space.

Trouble is, I'm totally lost here in H2G2.
I've been lost so long, I didn't think anyone
could find me.

I can see other researchers chasing each other
around and drinking great tankards of and
, and gorging themselves on and
, but whenever I try to get to
where they are, I always choose the wrong path
in the maze, and end up back here.

I hear you asking why I don't just fly *over*
the maze. I just tell them that....what's that,
you say? You're lost too? This is not good.

I had hoped I'd be found by my friend Nancy the
Dragon U196805. What's that, you say? I could just
click on the link to her PS, and escape from here?
Why didn't I think of that?

On Sept. 19:

Arrr, come along me hearties for a grand
adventure on my ship, the
Bunny Boat, the most feared galleon
on the briny main. We be boastin'
sixteen cannons that can shoot carrot
balls up to 3 miles....

The gang plank is about to he hoisted,
as is the anchor. Today's cruise won't
be repeated for another year. Leave the
landlubbers and come with us, mateys!