h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I AM kicking myself, and with good reason, too...

I mean, it's ridiculous. All my talk of wanting a boyfriend "just like him", remember that? I could've had the real thing. And I chickened out.

Maybe I don't deserve happiness and I'm really dodging it...

Don't make the mistake of building him into a god now.
Yes it's unfortunate you missed your chance, but he is NOT the best guy in the world. Personally I think you could do much better.

Remember he had just as much problem conveying his emotions too!
If he had shown a few more signs it might have changed everything, but he did not give one single indication of his attraction to you.

Who deserves anything? I don't deserve the happiness I have, but I appreciate it so much.
Just being a good or nice person doesn't mean you will be happy, there is no gauantee of that in life. Only by persuing the things that make us happy can we achieve it.

It makes me mad, but maybe I really should think negative instead of positive, for once. He drove me bonkers most of the time. Still, it's agony to think he may be acting differently with New Girlfriend. That maybe things could've been different between us if I'd done what she did - just go for him.

What on earth makes you think he is suddenly acting any different?
He's the same old SD, stuck in his suit. Only in just 2 weeks she hasn't tired of it yet. Maybe just thinks he's really cool and in control.

You should look at him negatively, you two were really meant for each other, despite what your infatuation or love told you.

Ask yourself honestly now Greta, would it have lasted?

I'll never know now, will I? I have no idea what he's like as a boyfriend. He may be completely different. I know I am, as a girlfriend. The old "He'd have made me unhappy" refrain is a worn-out mantra. The honesty and warmth of our last exchanges just makes me wonder. I've filed everything away.

Wrong timing, wrong everything.

Let's drop the subject... please... it just makes me maudlin.

Yes, lets leave it filed.
You need to focus on other things now.

So tell me what you have planned for New Years with Paolo?

I haven't planned anything except to turn up in the most amazing dress and act like a star. I shall bring out the gay icon/drag queen side of my personality and then drown it in booze, like any self-respecting gay icon would!

I'll end up discombobulated under the kitchen table, hopefully sucking face with a complete stranger

Seriously, I know there'll be a party. Paolo's gay friends ratio isn't as high as mine (well, I AM a gay icon after all), so hopefully there'll be some flirtation of sorts, let's hope it's not all couples or I'll seriously want to hit the bottle, not because of the lack of eligible men, but because I have developed an allergy to couples.

No plans really, I'm just really grateful for the diversion and I mean to turn up with my best grin. Everything else will matter less and less in time.

Hmm I sshouldn't imagine paolo would have much fun at a couples party either.

Err how many gay friends do you need to be a 'gay icon' then ? And what does it entail?

For all we know, Paolo might be happily hitched by New Year's Eve... he IS looking, after all (and has a better chance than Yours Truly).

It's only two weeks from now, and hey, we've seen what two weeks can do

It's not so much the number of gay friends you have (I've got six in all, but the number may increase, given that gay friends have other gay friends they can introduce you to...) but the type of persona (not personality) you have.

My flamboyancy, tendency to over-dramatize, artistic inclinations and unhappy love life make me the perfect gay icon, in manner of Barbra, Liza, Judy, Maria (Callas) and so forth. Kylie is also a gay icon, but a bit less so, because she's so obviously happy with herself.

I don't really think Kylie is that happy.
Have you seen the amount of cosmetic surgery she has undergone recently? I've gone right off her!

I might have to quit chatting to you if it's calling my sexuality into question! I only like my bread buttered on one side you know!

lol

Straight men want to sh*g Kylie; gay men want to BE Kylie.

That's the difference

Even the straightest-acting of my gay mates is taking singing lessons...

All the others are in some way or another artistically inclined. Writers, painters, aspiring directors... wait, there's also the interpreters. They're the exception to the rule, I suppose.

Well I'll breath a sigh of relief knowing I have no artistic talents whatsoever.

Talking of interpretors, is that a job you have ever considered? Your English really is excellent, and European translators are always in demand here. Pay is good too. Whisky from h2g2 is one.

Here as in "In London?"

I am actually a qualified translator, but I hate it. I have a degree in specialized translation (told you, the English doesn't come from nowhere...), but I can only speak Italian, my Dutch is non-existant.

I'm applying for an editing job in Milan today, wish me luck. (Bet my pants SD is applying for the same job, he's wanted to be an editor for ages, and he's trying to move to Milan, presumably also to be with New Girlfriend.)

I'm hyper-qualified, let's hope I get it.

Off to lunch and the post office, back in a while.

Ok mate have a good lunch.
How cool would it be to beat SD to that job lol.

I have a xmas lunch booked this afternoon, so wont be back in the office today.
Have a great weekend, and stay cheerful, you have many reasons to be happy. More to be sad I know, but focus on the happy ones for me.

See ya
Si
xx

I promise to.