h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Glad I don't have to fly anywhere these days!

I know what will bcome of you, you'll end up happily married with a fantastic job.
Be patient and be positive though.
Off home now, see you laters

Morning.
How are you?
I am so tired it's unreal Need this short holiday so much.

Ciao Si,

Wearing a kilt today, and big lace-up boots. My punk soul at work

Got an avalanche of messages on my mobile this morning, from both my surrogate boyfriends Honest to God...

Talked at length with my friend Raffaella last night. She can see right through me, it's comforting and disquieting at the same time. She and SD have quite similar parsonalities. The message I got from him this morning was actually for her: he txt'd to say that he was sitting next to an MTV presenter that Raffa has fancied for ages. I passed on the messaged and told him to prepare for the fatwa...

Paolo rang last night and txt'd this morning. He's a party animal!

Also got a message from Ale, says he misses me: go figure. I mean, we've never even spoken to each other in person. Will mail him though.

Simon, back from your hols yet?

Hiya, back this morning. Had a fab time. All relaxed and happy now

Sounds like you've been busy too. Do tell more.

Oooh, had a busy weekend... sort of. As I said, I made a move on Fabio and got a half-result out of it; mind you, it's Tuesday and he hasn't called, despite checking three times that the number on his mobile was mine, so I suspect that he was just playing along; I will only know for sure the next time we meet. It's last orders for him

The piercing is all booked for Thursday; but the really good news is that my contract will be extended. I can sign up at the gym! Start taking dance classes! Buy CDs and books! Pay off the instalment of my insurance policy! Oh, the joy, and the relief... (Yesterday I went straight to the lingerie shop after work and bought a bra.)

Hey! Told you not to worry about work Congrats Greta, another good result!

Yeah... I'm so relieved.

Spoke to my friend Raffa at length last night, she's still puzzling over SD and so am I to an extent, but we're not in touch these days. I talk to Paolo a lot but I don't feel the same kind of jealousy. We're more affectionate to each other, verbally (we call each other 'darling' all the time) and there is little subtext. We counsel each other on pulling strategies (he vetoed my planned call to Fabio, I'm still cheering him on) and by the look of it, no romantic partner is likely to stand in the way of us being mates.

It's a simpler, less glam and less intellectual relationship. At least I don't feel I have to prove myself all the time. Whew.

Perhaps I'll get in touch with SD around Christmas. Don't know yet.

I will sign up for dance classes at a gym near my house. Can't wait to start: I really want to get in shape. The belly-button piercing will look even better on a flattish tummy (I'm not kidding myself, it'll never actually be flat).

Cool
Glad you are getting on well with Paolo, as you say much less danger there as you are honest with each other.
It may not come close to what you had in the friendship with SD, but in the long run its more fullfilling. Cherish it mate.

Dance clases sound a good way of getting fit as you like dancing so much. What sort of dancing you got in mind?

And flat tummies aren't attractive to men! We crave curves and circles. IMHO the bodies of the three Grace's are most mens idea of perfection. It's just fashion, the film industry and peer pressure that make women think waif like thin is sexy.
Firm is better than Flab though, so dancing wont hurt, but dont you dare diet.

Diet? Me? No way. It only makes my boobs deflate!

(SD on my phone again. My curse, my anchor. I can't let him go. Not when he keeps coming on all poetic on me... I can throw put-downs at him, but losing him seems impossible right now.)

I want to make the transition from flab to firm, but my curves (what little I have) will stay in place. It's the way I'm built. I want a backside that can stop traffic... that's why I'm taking up dance. Nothing special, it goes under the generic term of "funky", but it doesn't mean anything, it's just less repetitive than aerobics.

Don't let SD go, just learn how to put him in a different box.
Hate him enough that you forget the feelings you had for him, then you can be his friend again.
He is sending such confusing signals to you. The fact he is still in contact show he wants to be around you. Use that! Change the rules, start being more open with each other about your feelings.

I really hope that if you have learnt one thing from this whole experience is that life without him isn't so bad. You shouldn't fear losing him. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy him being around.

A traffic stopping bum

Yeah... for starters, I haven't told him about Fabio, and won't until I know what's going on. Paolo's easier to talk to in that respect, because he doesn't judge me: we're in the same (sex-starved) boat! I'm also being mysterious about the piercing. I'll take a pic of the result and send it to him Raffa and SD have once again proved to be one and the same person... they really should start talking to each other directly, rather than through me; but knowing how lazy she is with e-mail, it would never take off. They both have a way of questioning me, trying to call me on my bluff even when I'm not bluffing, that can be unnerving at times.

She's been getting sanctimonious lately. She's never had a boyfriend all the time I've known her (eleven years - quite a bit), and yet she keeps preaching about how I should learn to have casual sex, and stop falling in love with people who don't deserve it. I don't think she's in the position to tell me what I can or cannot do...

I want a bum that can stop traffic to go with my already traffic-stopping legs

It's probably very nice to have friends who challenge your views, it may be unnerving, but it probably makes your mind very clear about where you stand.

Hmmm I wouldn't say it's sanctimonious to preach common sense, even if you aren't in a position to preach. I make her right on a couple of those points! You do need to let your guard down a little with guys. But hold fast to your principles, they are what make you who you are.

Well, yeah, like I haven't tried to be casual. I'm not casual. I can pretend I am, but I am only casual for about five minutes. And no, Raffa is not in the position to preach, since she's celibate, and thus not having sex, casual or otherwise. It's easy to put yourself in the preaching position if you haven't fancied anyone (except for TV presenters and pop stars) for at least eleven years. (Except for the drummer from the Tindersticks, I'm furious I missed that one: I was in England at the time!) She doesn't know what it's like.

The only way to guard my heart is to stay away from men altogether. That, of course, is hard and makes for a very lonely life. But I know that the moment they come close, I'm in danger; and there's nothing I can do about that. I don't separate love and sex, that's something that is ingrained in my personality and I can't change it. I have tried. I can't. It's part of what I am, and I don't think that I deserve any more psychological violence than I've already have suffered; so, no casual sex!

Doesn't it make you think twice when a girl who has been celebate for 11 years tells you to go out and get laid?
Surely that should have more weight than if it came from a girl with no morals.
I don't agree with her, you should stay true to your own values, but don't critecize her advice. She is speaking from experience of someone who hasn't had it in along time.

...mmm, more like never. Nothing wrong with that, of course, I had my first sexual partner at 25; but I don't think she has any idea of the emotional storm that sex is capable of causing. Yeah, of course I could go out and get laid; but then I'd want a relationship, and you can't always have one. I'm torn between safety (celibacy) and danger (sex), because the hurt cause by Predator hasn't healed, it's there in my mind: I remember what it's like to let somebody get that close and then be discarded.

No-strings sex comes with a sense of emptiness. It's just for pleasure, but there isn't much pleasure in sleeping with somebody who doesn't care about you in the least, I think. (Plus, I'm not sure I could actually, physically do it; I need to relax and trust the other person. Why else do you think I waited 25 years? I couldn't do it.)

So just wait until you feel you can relex and trust someone else now.
It will happen, just be patient.
Time alone will help you through this Greta. And only time can tell how happy you will be.

That's for sure...

I've just bumped into my friend Corrado, whose relationship with his own SD (everyone's got one!) seems to be improving. Let's see if we manage to get the blog started in earnest. Mind you, I'm doing quite a good job of it myself

Still no phone call from Boy, though. Things are not looking good on that front. Might have to write him off for good. Mind you, Susanna did warn me about his "problems". It's not that I like him all that much, but I need somebody to chase! It takes my mind off other stuff (namely SD).

Oi Si,

Speak tomorrow, then?
(It's been a boring day...)

Mon Dieu,
Sorry Greta, I got tied up with something at work and completely forgot where we were.
My humblest apologies.
I'll try to keep you better entertained tomorrow

Have yourself a great night, be lucky.

Si