Journal Entries
Whoa!!! (PC)
Posted Dec 16, 2011
This morning, I discovered that my favorite smiley ever (besides the middle finger) is here!! I expect to use it a lot. 
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Latest reply: Dec 16, 2011
We hae snow! (PC)
Posted Dec 9, 2011
We've at last gotten the first snow of the season. It doesn't look like much more than an inch or two (ish), but it's finally here. 
Almost time for me to dig out my winter jacket instead of just wearing my hooded sweatshirt...
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Latest reply: Dec 9, 2011
I have today's QoTD! (PC)
Posted Dec 8, 2011
There has been an issue with rendering this post, please contact the editors.
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Latest reply: Dec 8, 2011
They must have confused me with someone else (PC)
Posted Nov 30, 2011
I have a question with regard to a strange invitation I received for a party of sorts, which took place last weekend.
A cousin of my husband has recently announced that she’s pregnant, and a family friend apparently was hosting a “baby shower”. I received an invitation in the mail, but it was addressed only to me.
Setting aside that the hostess lives in rural Indiana and there’s no way I was going to trek all the way out there without K (that would involve taking an hour + train ride, then waiting for someone to pick me up at the train, which is a pain in the ass on a holiday weekend)...
I have only been invited to one other baby shower in my adult life- mainly because I can count the number of RL friends who’ve had children on one hand. Any family members of my generation who have had any are sufficiently distant not to warrant an invitation to such events.
The invitation to the baby shower I did attend was addressed to both my husband and me. The party was attended by couples, men, women and children. There was good food, wine, music and conversation, and a short period of time spent opening cards and gifts. It was a nice party.
But this last invitation, as I say, was addressed only to me. I found this odd, as this is my cousin’s husband, not mine, so if only one of us was to have been invited, it would make more sense to me for it to have been him.
I’d mentioned this offhandedly to my uncle and husband over brunch this weekend, and they both indicated that “traditionally”, such events are usually attended only by women. I’d expressed my surprise- that seems terribly sexist to me. Neither was able to offer any good explanation, other than that “traditionally”, it’s women who were interested in babies. That may be so, but "traditionally", women had *no choice* but to make babies, but a lot of them worked and fought long and hard to get things to the point where there are other options available. Some of us find those options as or more fulfilling than the "traditional" ones.
If this was to be a girly-girly sewing-circle type get-together, though, I am even more confused as to why I would have been invited. I’m not into girly things at all. I haven't worn pink since I was six- and no one who's seen me since around age 13 has seen me in any color other than black, unless you count my orange rain boots or blue jeans.
At brunch, when I mentioned how odd I thought this was, K got all defensive about how his family and his aunt’s friend aren’t sexist people… and I agree that they probably don't intend to be. But when you get down to it, determining your guest list based on whether they have innies or outties... if that's not sexist, then what is it? I'm genuinely curious.
Any thoughts on why, in the 21st century, people are still making these kinds of assumptions about people, based on which genitals they have? Does anyone think there is a way to avoid invitations to gender-specific parties? Or is it better to just decline the invitation (and lie about why you can't come, of course. I'd never actually *tell* someone I didn't come to their party because I thought it would be boring. 
)?
* Full disclosure- several of you already know that in general, I'm not that huge a fan of kids. That of course makes me less interested in baby showers and in going glassy-eyed over someone else's sonograms, etc. But- I'm still happy enough for the parents! I'm just curious as to why in this day and age, anyone thinks that (a) it's just women who are interested in the kid(s) and (b) that all women are inherently so.
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Latest reply: Nov 30, 2011
And so it begins (PC)
Posted Nov 18, 2011
I have a journal entry that has been a long time coming. I guess I am looking for feedback, though I'm not entirely sure what I'll be able to do with it.
As the "holiday season" (ugh) is upon us, I once again despair of what to do about plans involving family members- K's family, anyway. Specifically, one particular cousin.
Used to be Thanksgiving was at my grandma's house, Xmas Eve at K's folks with his dad's family and Xmas Day at his aunt's with his mom's side. My grandma died a couple years ago, last year my uncle did Thanksgiving but this year he's going to a cousin of his that I avoid. Xmas Eve the last few years, K and I have done at home, for ourselves. And mainly to avoid a cousin who may be present at Thanksgiving at K's folks' place this year.
Let me tell you all why I avoid her and see what you think. First, a few years ago she got married to some dude from her bible study- the same one she *hounded* K to attend by calling our house (and his old place) all the time, in spite of knowing he was not interested. She mailed the invitation to our home- we had lived together for at least three years at that time, I think it was four- and addressed it to "Mr K and GUEST". Bitch.
Then, last year, when my mom died, she sent a "sympathy" card with such nasty comments as that my mother is "better off" dead and in a "better place". Because being in a concrete box in the safe in my dad's garage is better than sitting in her easy chair, gorging on chocolate and potato chips (
) and watching old TV shows on DVD. Whatevs. And the point isn't that the 
believes in all that religious bulshit, it is that she knows that we do NOT.
I've been avoiding and blanking her for years. I told K that if anyone is to confront her, it must be him, as he is the blood relative and I am the "interloper", so to speak. I *know* he supports me fully, but he's too non-confrontational to defend me.
What do I do about this Thanksgiving dinner? I want to say screw it and go to a restaurant, or just stay home. 
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Latest reply: Nov 18, 2011
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